Things one should never outgrow:

(I'm a leaf blower.)

Do you like my 12-second Halloween costume?

Guess what I am.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

This is our kindness board.
Considering it's attached to the fridge,
our teens couldn't miss it if they tried.
But they do.
#brats

teenagers.

My entire day in six words:

Humble pie chart.

I got punched in the egos.

Things one should never outgrow:

#youneedasenseofhumourtowork@Walmart
#customersgeta"kick"outofthisibet
#freakythingshappen@Walmart
#Walmartscaresme
#ouch

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

the last watermelon. This means summer is officially over.

#allfruitshouldcomeinitsownbowl
#sleddingandskiing
#sparklingsnow
#doesmywintercoatstillfit?
#bummer

Yeah, no. Probably not.

During my travels today, I noticed this fairly new sign. Hmm. Maybe this is where sweethearts go to have their pictures taken for annoying cutesy Facebook statuses? Perhaps a tourism gimmick something akin to Love, Saskatchewan? Or, looking more closely, maybe it's some cryptic rebus? Could it mean...

"Hi-i've a cup to present to vague little people in the distance to support wheelchair access."

Get it? Hi-i've?

Sorry. Yeah, no. Probably not.

Google revealed otherwise: Honey Bunny sells organic honey products all over North America. However, I'm still a little confused by the symbolism. Your thoughts?

This is my hood.

Er, that would be Churchill Square.

I'm sick of staggering greed too.

However, the Occupy Edmonton branch of protesters might need a little help with spelling.

#everwideninggapbetweenhaves&havenots
#greedisthedevil
#lotsofweedwaftingoutofthisarea
#seriouslyunderminingtheircredibility
#ifnothingeverchangesnothingeverchanges

What's this for?

It's magic.

I like my new car. Great fuel economy! It's tiny (and I'm not). Someone remarked that it looks like I have to pull it on like a boot! I thought that was hilarious.

Anyway, it has this button. I have no idea what its function is. But you know what? I like to press it. (It makes me feel better.)










#itsallgoingtobeok
#weallneedanokbutton
#sortofliketheeasybutton
#mostboysknowstuffaboutvehicles
#notme

♀?

Women and their new hairdos—what’s up with that? It’s always a big deal. Even when it doesn’t look like that big of a deal. Sure, a good haircut makes us all feel a little spiffier but can it really be life-changing? It’s just hair. I’m 61% sure that the other day the TV said we all wash our hair too often. Therefore, thanks to the TV, I am now toying with the notion of washing my hair on an as-need basis only. It just makes sense. I’m guessing women aren’t jumping on that bandwagon. This reminds me of pants.

Women and their pants—what’s up with that? Men hate pants. I am 91% sure that men would prefer to go pants-less 24/7. But women like pants. I wash clothes sometimes and I find pants in the basket that are odd. They look like mannequin pants. Yoga pants I think they’re called. But my wife doesn’t do yoga. Well, actually, she has done yoga but I think she’s more interested in yoga pants. This reminds me of DVDs.

Women and their DVDs—what’s up with that? My wife and the other women I know all have exercise DVDs that I’m 73% sure none of them ever use. All the latest exercise crazes. What’s the newest one? Rumba? Zumba? Poomba? By comparison, we guys have very different DVD collections, useful DVDs aka ridiculous, mindless comedies. The sillier the better. Movies that make a guy laugh so hard he chokes on his Pringles. This reminds me of popcorn.

Women and their popcorn—what’s up with that? Popcorn is indeed tasty. But is it a meal? No. I’m 86% sure it’s not. Or at least it shouldn’t be. A meal needs peas and carrots. And fish. Preferably deep-fried. (The fish, not the peas and carrots.) But women just want to eat popcorn for supper while they read a book. This reminds me of cards.

Women and the men they love—what’s up with that? I’m 100% sure that even though it’s difficult for us men to understand womanly ways and those women we love, I’m 94% sure we get the better "deal." (At least 59% of the time.)

Things one should never outgrow?

Er, ever since Thanksgiving, my son and I may have developed a problem, a planking problem.

















#cantstopplanking
#theworldisjustonebigplank
#nowyoureplankingwithgas!
#waysaferthanthefreerunningstagehewentthrough
#videosurveillancechuckle