Things one should never outgrow:

Our Family: the Lego mini-figure version
c Summer 2016

Lego.

Emogeez

Um, by texting this emoji you...
have a shadow?

I hesitate to admit this since it makes me sound 94 years old, but I pretty much don’t do emojis. If people text me a happy face emoji or a thumbs up emoji, I gotcha. And there are a few emojis that I will occasionally use (for obvious reasons) albeit quite rarely:

-ZZZ

-thumbs down

-a gun

-a small fire, and naturally

-a shrimp. 

Ahem. No explanation required for these right? Anyway, text me emojis outside this narrow collection and I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why? Well firstly, emojis are like billboards for ants, but smaller. Secondly, does the poop emoji actually enhance one's productivity/credibility? And thirdly, the real kicker is that emojis are more ambiguous than Donald Trump's foreign policy. Some examples:

1. The grimacing face emoji: Are you distraught? Or did you smell something bad? Perhaps you just got new braces?
2. Any heart other than red: Heartburn? Or jaundiced? Or were you just awarded a medal?
3. The smiley face with money symbols for eyes and a green money tongue: Did you find money on the street? Or is this an epiphany about your shopping addiction? Maybe you swallowed a $20 bill?
4. The smiley face with one enlarged eye with the tongue hanging out: Stroke? Should I call 911? Or are you winking (and if so I’d recommend that you put your tongue back in your mouth)?
5. And finally, unless you’ve been abducted, do not text the screaming alien and even then it’s infinitely more productive if you just phone home, ok ET?

One more thing. Honestly, despite the whiff of bitterness in these words, I don’t hate emojis. I love that language is always evolving and I am never against playful usage. The problem is this: clarity. Plus there’s one other problem based on a common argument in defense of emojis: they save time. You know what actually saves your time and mine? C'mon. Say it with me. If we...put...our...phones...away. :)

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

the alarming outcome of switching faces with my son. (But I'd gladly do it anytime.)

Things one should never outgrow:

small-town skating-rink fries & gravy.

Letter of Appreciation, Kinda

Dear Parents caring for other people’s adult children:

As you know, many parents have young adults who return home for summer. And yet, we rarely see them. Instead (whether you like it or not) you do.

Firstly, thank you. For feeding them. For cleaning up after them. For loaning them a couch. Speaking of surrogate-type parenting, thanks also to their employers. University/College is expensive and we are grateful they have these jobs. Plus we suspect that you employers are also good guides and mentors. However, unlike you, we cannot pay them to hang out with us (or at least we’d prefer not to).  Thus we are stuck with those rare sightings when they randomly return to shower, or drop off their laundry, recharge something, and then there was that one time when we made bacon and they suddenly appeared.

Sigh. Related to this, my wife and I request a small favour and we thank you in advance. Since you are more likely to encounter our kids, please share any or all of the following questions/reminders whenever you deem it appropriate:

1.  Hey you. I heard you have parents.

2.  And I know for a fact they have Wi-Fi.  

3.  Your parents want to know: what are your thoughts on

a.       Current events?

b.      That latest movies?

c.       Pluto’s adorable heart?

d.      Cheese? (All of the above, pretty much anything, they’re open.)

4.  If they cooked more bacon, would you go home?

5.  Would blackmail work? Because let’s be honest, they know A LOT about your past.

6.  Is another tattoo/piercing really necessary? (Throwing this in there, just in case.)

7.   I’m pretty sure tomorrow is Fathers/Mothers/Parents/Hug-Someone-Who-Shares-Your-DNA/Family Guilt Day.

8.  If a parent texts you in the forest, does it make a sound argument not to text back?

9.  Here’s a picture of your Mother weeping. 

10.  Get out. 

Things one should never outgrow:

breaking trail,  (despite obstacles and unexpected challenges).

Things one should never outgrow:

family road trips.

Determined not to go down that road. What's the worst that could happen? (I will make a list if once we return.)

The most? The best?

source

A 17-year-old won the Nobel Peace Prize.

I'm still thinking about that. 

Anyone discouraged by the today’s youth, think about that. Any discouraged youth, think about what you can actually accomplish.

And why did Malala Yousafzai win the Nobel Peace Prize?

1.      Was it because she is a girl?

2.      Was it because she is Pakistani?

3. Was it because her father encouraged her to go to school despite the danger, especially for girls?

4. Was it because she publicly criticized the Taliban for trying to prevent girls from attending school?

5. Was it because a Taliban gunman barged onto her bus one day and threatened to shoot everyone unless she identified herself?

6. Was it because she said I am Malala and was then shot in the head?

7. Was it because she recovered and explained to the world that what extremists fear most seems to be one girl with a book?

8. Was it because she had no desire for revenge, nor is she against anyone; instead she simply wants all children to have access to education including the sons and daughters of the Taliban and all terrorists and extremists?

9. Was it because leaders and organizations all over the world were inspired to support her cause?

10. Or was it because she says, “one child, one teacher, one pen, and one book can change the world”?

Boiled down, the criteria for the Nobel Peace Prize is simple: the prize goes to “whoever has done the most or the best work” to uphold and promote peace. Yet it's so incredibly vague to say, "do your best." Best must be defined. Enter Malala. Her most? Her best? It was her attitude. It sparked, it inspired, it elevated. 

Friends: it’s our attitude. That’s it right there. Define it and it will make the most and the best difference to everyone and everything, even yourself. 

Shouldn't I?

My son made this toolbox in his Industrial Arts class back when he was still in high school. MADE THIS. Every single part of it. Inside there's even a tray that can be removed. He MADE this.

My kids are out of high school now and have both moved away, both pursuing further education, yet since their births they would do these things that amazed me and this question would pop into my head every time: who are you people?

They just did things. And could do things. Things that surprised me.

I'm not bragging. This is not about bragging. Parents who brag are annoying. This is about wonder. I've always been a wonder-junkie. I marvel at plenty of things and sometimes that includes my kids.

Now that they've moved out of our lives, I still wonder at who they are and what they do and why they do what they do: both their genius and their idiocy. As their father, someone who has been with them every step of the way, shouldn't I have some sort of key to every post office box inside their brains? Shouldn't I know them better than they know themselves? Shouldn't I be able to predict their choices? Shouldn't I...?

And that's my mistake right there, isn't it? Me, me, me. This isn't about me. This is my struggle, not theirs. I need to remember that happiness is an inside job. I'm sure I taught them that because that is exactly what they are off seeking. I only need to relearn this myself.

"We need, in love, to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily; we do not need to learn it." Rainer Maria Rilke, poet

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

He fixed it but I'm still waiting for the explanation.

A Recent Selfie

Yup. It's me.

At the end of this month, both my teens will move away to University/College. This recent selfie will help them remember what I look like (and what I mostly do.)

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

my teens. Sigh.

Plus this. Hmm.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

peculiar home remedies.

#evenonesthatwork
#paige

I miss when...

#highschoolgraduationday

my son was still a little boy.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

For your reference, those are bananas to the right. 

four and a half kilograms of KD aka literally about 10 lbs of poor choices.

#forMac

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

my son's parking skills. Uh, he's either very efficient at parking or very lucky. Either way, I am going to choke him.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

the latest bizarre still-life beside my teen son's bed. There's a jar of peanut butter on the floor (among other things). It's like CSI: Hoarders in there.

Things one should never outgrow:

Who doesn't need one of these?

#evenifyourenotaheroyoucanstilldresslikeone

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

we found our son's missing frog under a chest. Did I mention it's been missing for two years?

#scotchguardworks

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

when your teen borrows your car.