25/31

Links to 24/31 &
the 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

Years ago, I started a new job and quickly became close with a new colleague about 15 years younger than me. Becoming more connected, we discovered we have common Scottish heritage; he showed me his wedding photo, proudly donning his kilt. During that conversation, he asked me about my kids who were teenagers at the time. With a smirk, I didn't hesitate to say, "I wholeheartedly recommend marriage, but kids? Not so much." 

Little did I know he and his wife had just learned she was pregnant with their first child. Yup, insert foot here. I can be a tad too candid, even flippant sometimes. He didn't reveal the pregnancy until a few months later and we laughed about my comment. Why did I say that? 

We're not special; all families face all sorts of challenges, but sometimes, if you know what I mean, the phone call is coming from inside the house. But raising teens is behind us now, so today, would I say the same thing about having kids? 

I have thought about this a lot. I have sorted through my feelings. I have written words, words, words, and more words. I'm older now, and I've changed. Fortunately, we have settled the past, knitted ourselves back together, given and grown—sadly, not all families find their way back to each other. Speaking of evolving, my daughter gave me this book during her first pregnancy and made this vibrant thing even more meaningful by filming herself reading it.😭

So as they raise their own children now (and only if they seek my perspective), I tell them my truth: being a parent will test you like nothing else. And you will fail. Repeatedly. So be prepared to fail at what will become the most important job you never imagined you'd be so terrible at. You will be triggered. You will be uncomfortable. You will need to confront your own shit. And it will hurt. And it may even break you a time or two. But it will still be worth it. 

24/31

Links to 23/31 &
the 31 Vibrant Things
Launch Post

Although I've never experienced a house fire, my entire community was once threatened by wildfire. Sadly, most of us can tell similar stories nowadays.  

So today, I chose a fire hydrant because it's a profoundly vibrant thing but unless there's one in your front yard, I bet you (like me) may struggle to pinpoint where exactly they are in your neighbourhood. Related to this topic, how many firefighters do you know? I know one, but he's not inclined to discuss his work, or even broach the subject other than this: he deeply values and trusts the people on his team. This makes me curious. 

Let's contemplate fire hydrants. What do we actually know about them? 

Quick research reveals they are typically colour-coded according to water capacity, even type of water (potable or not). They are flow-tested at least twice yearly and are replaced approximately every 50 years. Apparently, in Canada, they are pressurized to keep the water below the freezing line. 

All this adds up to key community infrastructure produced and maintained thanks to our taxes, an investment in security, a safety net, an insurance policy we hope we will never need. This implies that fire hydrants are abstractly future-orientated, so is that why we don't pay attention to something so valuable, so key to our well-being? And what else do we take for granted?   

Until we need those fire hydrants.

Of late, I've grown weary of people who seek more and more and more, heedless or blind or willfully ignorant to all they already have. I'm not referring to those seeking solutions for important social issues we should all rally to improve: education, health care, poverty, injustice, inequality, and so on, nor am I suggesting that the status quo remain uncontested. I'm speaking of those who will never be satisfied....

Perish the thought their houses were burning. But no matter—my fire hydrant will always be my neighbour's fire hydrant, even if my neighbour didn't notice there are fire hydrants all over this safe and thriving and cherished country, even if my neighbour feels somehow cheated and maltreated by our community. And the firefighters? They won't think twice about rushing into their homes to save them no matter the ideology that makes them perceive themselves as hard done by... and I hope you know, dear friends, I am not just talking about fire hydrants. 

23/31

Links to 22/31 &
The 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

Nope. 

My partner and her friends are rarely without (spiked) coffee hence this Wayne Gretzky Maple Cream in our kitchen. But let's be clear: it was a gift. 

Since the US Orange Toddler King called Canadian hockey legend Gretzky a "good friend...who wants to make [Trump] happy," CBC news has reported his popularity among Canadians has decreased about fifty percent to 35% favourability. Around that time, thousands in Edmonton, Alberta signed petitions to rename Wayne Gretzky Drive, the road next to the old coliseum where he led the Edmonton Oilers team to win four Stanley Cups in the 1980s. What's that saying? FA¯\_(ツ)_/¯FO 

Canadians paid careful attention to how Gretzky responded to the Liar-in-Chief 's 51st state blathering. If you can call it a response, Gretzky said, "I'm just a hockey player." 

Hmm. Sure, Jan.  In fact, Mr. Gretzky, you are also a corporation that sells liquor and clothing and hockey sticks, all vibrant things that were once meaningfully connected to pride and identity for most Canadians. Isn't it curious how many leaders seem to have suddenly lost their voices? It makes one wonder if they were ever leaders at all? 

Following is one of my favourite quotes, an idea I truly affirm: "you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with." In my life, choosing my circle carefully, has made all the difference. We Canadians continue to make choices about the many circles that integrate us with the US. We know that someday, US citizens will replace Kim Don Un and the majority of us will dance in the streets with them, but until then, we will do those necessary little things because they continue to all add up to bigger things. 

22/31

Links to 21/31 &
the 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

I don't have much fashion sense, but there is one thing I like: odd shirts. 

See those astronauts floating around on one of my favourite t-shirts? They make me smile. But can shirts be vibrant things? Yes, I think they can. My son can't resist t-shirt sarcasm/ comedy; for his birthday this year I gave him a t-shirt with a bull logo and the text, bull shirt. 

Maybe I like weird shirts because I was a kid in the 70s &80s? Maybe it's because the brain loves novelty? Whatever the reason, they make me feel something...? Authentic? More confident? Playful? Yes to all. 

But mostly? It's a bit of a mental-health boost. They uplift. They spread a little much-needed happiness in this sorry world. Plus, I just realized they align with the tattoo on my right arm: sursum corda, Latin for lift up your hearts. 

Dear friends, wear your heart (yourself) on your sleeve, and chest.

21/31

Links to 20/31 &
the 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

A long-ago wedding gift that's been displayed in our home for decades, this is a photo of a lithograph print named "Moonlight" by London-born artist Peter Ellenshaw. Who are the people in the boat? Why are they sailing in the moonlight? What danger are they escaping? 

If you look carefully, my reflection is visible in this photo, inserted and absorbed into this "story." I wasn't sure how to represent today's vibrant thing but then I remembered that Ellenshaw worked in the film industry, specifically for Walt Disney.

No doubt many of us in North America count Disney as formative in introducing us to the movies; many of my generation remember Sundays at 6PM when the Disney theme song invited us to eat our ice-cream in front of the TV and watch Goofy steer that camper around that treacherous mountain yet again or watch wunderkind Jodie Foster (a favourite) escape danger while running circles around the adults.... Sure enough there's a Reddit thread exploring similar memories. These were my early experiences with film-related vibrant things, absorbed in a magic I will always be captivated by and am forever grateful exists for us all to engage with, enjoy, and be inspired by.   

Despite being an introvert, this appreciation for films compelled me to minor in Drama. Dear friends, do not assume studying drama (or any of the arts) is impractical. Those courses truly helped me improve essential life-skills including speaking, listening, presenting, improvising, problem-solving and especially creative-thinking. But I especially loved scene analysis, studying text and subtext, and using it to create the behind-the-scenes props and sets—the stage craft, the art direction. Artists who arrange the locations, the sets, the props, the look, the feel, the identity of a film setting...they're creating a emotional landscape, which results in a kind of art-therapy alchemy and finally this leads me to the magic. 

Film-makers create spaces and characters and ideas fundamental to pondering (even solving) the mysteries of our lives and who we are. Good films are magic, and if you pay attention, that magic is hidden in the details. And those details...details that suspend our disbelief, cause the world to slip away, immerse us, possess us, invite us to become lost and somehow also found within the story. 

It's a trip, isn't it? It's why we love movies. For some, certain genres are especially effective at achieving this alchemy, but today (stay with me), I want to elaborate on this using the horror genre. You see I have a soft spot for horror. Whoa, I just flinched at my soft spot word-choice and so I googled its origin and it has something to do with a baby's fontanel AND NOW my imagination just fused that with the horror genre AND NOW I'm completely freaked out by my own thoughts.... As you may have deduced, it doesn't take much for me to be get absorbed. Sorry. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dear friends, horror movies are particularly powerful at creating vibrant spaces; those dire landscapes are often metaphors for pervasive human struggles. One recent example is the last chapter of Danny Boyle's apocalyptic zombie film saga, 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple. Is it dark, disturbing, even deranged? Yes, but it's also a metaphor for overwhelming grief (personal and collective) and a lantern of hope in the dark emotional landscape we currently live in.

For example, a vibrant thing featured in the film is a record-player and an album that somehow survived a virus-based apocalypse in what was the UK. Do you remember Duran Duran's song, Ordinary World? It's a profound ode to loss, disguised as a 90s pop song and it's oddly perfect for a horror film. Hearing that haunting song played by a lonely man in a bunker surrounded by human bones is a nightmare, but it's also an act of defiant rebellion, an act of human perseverance, and much-needed hope in a world (our world) gone mad. That's magic. And that's what film-makers do. 

If you're interested in contemplating how Ordinary World compliments the horror genre, listen to Joy Williams haunting version, lyrics included:

20/31

Links to 19/31 &
The 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

As I've been exploring in this series, it seems to me that vibrant things do in fact possess a power over us: "philosopher Jane Bennett theorizes that things have a sort-of agency—they can "speak" to us... open windows to memories and ideas... summon a deeper relationship." 

So could someone tell my kettlebells? 

I would like them to speak to me like my pea-brain imagines a personal trainer would similar to my 1980s (old-school) PE teacher who would watch some of us attempt various sports and shame us with his literal groans, ha. 

Why won't my kettlebells yell at me and demand I lift them, repeatedly, until I finally morph into the muscular gymbro I was always meant to be? Er, who am I kidding? I just want to live longer and it's my kettlebells' responsibility, right? I'm sure they're well-versed in the facts about aging and muscle loss and protein and grip strength and longevity and other such jargon that bores me—I'm an English major and the only word I like in this (run-on) sentence is jargon. (Actually I quite like the sound of longevity as well.) 

But let's be honest: my not-so-vibrant kettlebells don't give a shit about me. (Insert my old PE teacher's shame groan here.) Do they help me? No. They just sit on their rocker-recliners ,watching TV. (Sometimes I watch with them.) IYAM, at this point they're more like dumb-bells because all my kettlebells do is silently mock me. 

19/31

Links to 18/31 &
The 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

This green ceramic pig with wings sits on a table in the corner of our living room at the front window, looking outside. No one in my family knows this, but this vibrant thing has a job. So shhhhhhhhhh.

I saw it in a home decor store years ago and it said, "buy me!' Also this: "if you buy me, you're an idiot." Also this: "You know you're going to buy me so stop fighting it...you idiot." Also this: "I'm hilarious and stupid and unnecessary and you know that's why you love me!" 

I circled that store like six times trying to leave without this pig, and then it whispered, "I am the middle finger to everyone who ever told you that whatever you thought you could be or do or become was IMPOSSIBLE." 

And so I bought it. I swear the cashier stifled a laugh as I paid her... maybe $29? BUT IT WAS WORTH IT. 

Hear me out: like, who doesn't need a pig with wings? Dear friends, do not believe the naysayers: PIGS FLY! All the time! If you are paying attention, here we are living in a world of everyday impossibles: texting and refrigeration and antibiotics and driverless cars and facial biometrics and contact lenses and hydraulics and vaccines and contraception and pasteurization and the scientific method and deodorant... just look around. 😶

But there's something else about this pig: I trust him—he helps me cope with letting go. Purchased around the time my selfish tender heart was grappling with both our kids leaving home, I fretted how was I supposed to live without them? Sure, I wanted those teens to get the H out of our house then, but would we ever be together again? I could imagine many irrational things that might interfere, might make it impossible for us to be together—crimes, disasters, death—but let's be honest friends, never once did I imagine a pandemic BUT THAT HAPPENED, so irrational thoughts or not, insert smug face emoji here. 

The pig looks out the window because (like me) he's waiting for my son and my daughter to return home. And whenever they both do (with silent relief), I turn this winged pig toward our living room to watch us talk and debate and laugh and eat cupcakes and play games and now our grandkids are here too and all of this is joyful PROOF that despite all the possible ways that this harsh world might plot to prevent us from being together again, we are somehow together anyway and yes dear friends I'm grateful that the impossible is indeed possible. 

18/31

Links to 17/31 &
the 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

My oldest grandson turns three today. He loves diggers and blue, so I hope he enjoys this watercolour I painted for him. 

The subject certainly suits him: he's endlessly curious and also quite mighty, a bit of an immovable force—it's challenging for him to change directions sometimes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

He has incredible language skills, can sing Bridge Over Troubled Water (!), and drops the best malapropisms like, "For Pete's Egg" and the "finish lion" (plus this favourite, lol). 

He once said to my wife, "Nannie, I love you with all of my blue blue heart." He's a a bit of a budding poet (after my own heart) so I love introducing him to new words; sometimes this has unexpected outcomes including a recent FaceTime call—he spotted me and said, "Hi Hossenfeffer [sic]!" If you're a Bugs Bunny fan, you might appreciate this reference. 😅

I love being his Pops, and am thankful for the opportunity to be a better mentor to all my grandkids than I was for my kids. Raising my daughter and son, I made 13065+ mistakes but the biggest one was perhaps thinking I was protecting them from what I experienced by pressuring them to be better than me. Children are who they are; they will be who they'll be. 

I didn't comprehend then that my vibe was more judgmental than constructive or curious. But now? I just accept my grandkids as they are and encourage them to lift their hearts as they dig into life and marvel at this one awesome extraordinary opportunity to be. 

17/31

Links to 16/31 &
the 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

Educators know that it's very special when a student leaves something on your desk: a note, a treat, a drawing. My favourites were always the drawings. Is there any more precious vibrant thing than a child's drawing?

As a former educator, I cherished and displayed them all and somewhere I have a box full of them. Even better, some of my former students pursued careers in art and now a few of their art-pieces are displayed in our home. 

One such original art-piece is this portrait of an early-model typewriter made by this fun-loving creative. As you may or may not know, a portrait typically represents a person, focused on their face, but portraits are not always people. Whatever the subject, it's about capturing the essence, the personality, and in this case, it's obvious that this typewriter has seen some things and has many stories to tell. 

I adore this typewriter. Why? I love to write and I love art—it's the perfect combo and especially meaningful considering that I taught this student high-school English and Art. I also adore the artist, not just for her talent but also for her generosity. To compliment the newspaper column I wrote for decades, she urged me to start a blog. At the time (over 15 years ago), I didn't even know what a blog was, but her encouragement became this creative, reflective, uplifting, sometimes therapeutic space to grow, a life-long lifeline. 

I have no idea what I did to deserve this gift, but I do know this: sometimes the student is the teacher. 

16/31

Links to 15/31 &
the 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

My apologies...but sometimes vibrant things contain strong language. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This fridge magnet makes me smile. A surprise, the gifter accomplished more than making me laugh...isn't it something when a gift makes you feel seen? 

If you know me virtually or otherwise, you probably know that reading is never a trivial pursuit for me. One might say that with regard to reading, most days, I'm booked, 😆 (Sorry.)  

So if you interrupted my reading? The truth is I'd probably never say this (aloud) to anyone, but I do LOVE how this clever novelty item subverts stereotypes about readers who are also introverts aka us quiet folks. 

Speaking of quiet, I highly recommend Susan Cain's book, Quiet, The Power of Introverts. If you identify this way and you're unfamiliar, her research provides healing insight and a handy game-plan for how to live in this (loud) world made for extroverts who may not fathom that loneliness and solitude are not the same thing. For me, solitude is most often the safest space.   

A quote from Quiet: "Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions—from the theory of evolution to van Gogh's Sunflowers to the personal computer—came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune into their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there." I'm no Darwin or van Gogh but I do know this rich and treasured inner world and I must say, it's lit (softly, and with literature). 😅 (Sorry.)