Crisscrossing Lines

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Insert mic drop emoji here. 😊

Dear friends, I have things to do and places to see and there will be no TV. As for my phone? Sidekick mode. Will share more later.... 

As Mary Oliver said, "my work is loving the world." 

Impact

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Guilty. 

Like many others this June, I attended a university convocation but, for the first time, as faculty.

What a pleasure. Joyful, even. Also cringe—most public ceremonies are inherently (no cynicism intended) performative. And also this: humbling. Nothing makes a guy feel more dense than being surrounded by incredibly smart people. But (like me) if your safe space has always been at school, so so so worth the lingering imposter syndrome. 

After their tassels were moved from the right to the left and their bachelors' degrees official, one of the PhDs said something like this to those graduates: "you've just joined a community; welcome, and for those who might perceive it as an exclusive group, let's clear that up. Like all of the faculty on stage, whatever their degrees, you just became a life-long problem-solver with one overarching goal: better the world. As someone whose safe (and comfortable) space is learning more, I heard that. 

Dear friends, PhD or whatever, less procrastinating and more get out there in the world to enhance, advance, uplift. 

Debate

I'd never heard this word before. It's significant and it deserves some attention, doesn't it? Plus it makes for a curious connection with the word that (no doubt) came to your mind too: ironic. These words seem like cousins? I wholeheartedly believe that language impacts worldview and influences action, so.... 

Imagine these two words in a debate. 

Ironic would intend to subvert expectations while Irenic would aspire to promote consensus. Ironic would be witty maybe even sarcastic, seeking soundbites for social media. Irenic would be honest, authentic, and philanthropic. Ironic's rizz? Captivating. Irenic's earnestness? Moving. I suspect I'd be rooting for both, enjoying Ironic's word-play, and respecting Irenic's altruism. 

Yet, in these modern times, I bet Ironic would start a podcast and become a brand ambassador, get rich. But Irenic? No sponsorship, just long-slogging it, resolute. Sigh. So it goes in this attention economy—a shady system, that I sometimes think will be our undoing. 

Dear friends, who do you think is winning the debate? 

31/31

Links to 30/31
& the 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

It was challenging to choose one final item for the last post in this series. I had several options, but while pushing my youngest grandson in the stroller, I realized that most of my posts about vibrant things had one thing in common: M's soother sorta says it all. 

Do vibrant things act like soothers? And does this mean we're just big-baby humans? 😆

It seems my little research-project this May has revealed that much of the vibrant matter in my life is indeed lively and functions to boost my mental health, and additionally, seems connected to my identity.   

As you know, from day 1 our brains are biologically hardwired for anxiety—varied degrees of fight, flight, or fawning—thanks to that (life-saving) little stinker of a cluster of neurons at the core of our limbic systems named the amygdala. We're programed to have knots in our stomachs connected to so many mental health factors: trauma, loneliness, debt, struggling relationships, health issues, watching The Bear and so on. But, as you also know, coping strategies are numerous: breathing, exercise, music, dancing, writing, pets, watching The Pitt and yes, surrounding yourself with "centering objects" aka those optimal vibrant things that soothe. (Please dear friends, I do not mean your phone.)

This reminds me of the cliche we all know: stop and smell the roses. But wait, dear friends, don't dismiss this overused statement as trite. Why? Because it's wise, and it's true. 

The garden soothes. But it need not be a garden, nor a rose—substitute any object: a favourite bookmark, your Mom's cookie jar, the photos sticky-tacked to your bathroom mirror, a Christmas ornament, your Dad's hand-me-down tools, the saskatoon bush planted in your yard to remember someone special.... 

Whatever the "rose," pause and pay attention to the vibrant things that act like maps when we've lost our way a bit, especially those cherished items that re-tell soft-spoken stories, that lift you a little, that bring some peace, and soothe what aches. 

30/31

Links to 29/31 
& the 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

My wife made this for me. It's my favourite mug. She LOVES ceramics and LOVES spending hours at our local studio. We both have that artistic impulse. 

She has created many vibrant things, serving platters, Christmas decoration, and I'd wager she's nearing maybe 219 mugs. I josh, but we do indeed continue rotating them through our cupboards. Whatever, I'm glad this makes her happy. 

Dear friends, it occurred to me that I haven't yet asked you to name a vibrant thing. To refresh, philosopher Jane Bennett's research asserts that "things have a sort-of agency—they can "speak" to us, they open windows to memories and ideas, they summon a deeper relationship." 

What special item comes to mind and why does it "speak" to you? 

29/31

Links to 28/31 &
the 31 Things Launch Post

Check out this "honking" pencil, ha. 

A birthday gift from my middle granddaughter I, her Mom explained that when I saw it, she pointed and said, "Pops." Despite being only two, it seems she get's me. 😊💖

We spend lots of happy together-time drawing and colouring and writing i i i i i (line, dot, line, dot...) to represent her name. By the way, introducing drawing to children through lines and dots encourages and unlocks many simple drawing approaches even before introducing shapes. (Thank you Paul Klee.) Hence, it seems to me that my granddaughter might be just as invested as I am in vibrant thing for creatives. 

Dear I, here's hoping that a pencil (or paint brush or stylus, or—nod to Dr. Seuss here—whatever tool inspires you to be you-er) becomes for you, like me, an ever-amusing portal to meaning and learning and self-expression and exploring and attending to this one astonishing life. 

28/31

Links to 27/31 
& the 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

Some vibrant things communicate directly and sometimes they provide key, important, info for those in one's social circle on how to more accurately read the room. (Especially for us introverts, ha.) 

I know that mental health wearables are typically smart-watches, headphones, fit-bits, and the like—they serve some owners well—but why not a sort of neo-old-school option? This analog social battery button brings some levity to the room but, let's be honest, it might be a decent emotional regulation option before the robots take over become even more sophisticated to our, er, benefit (?) at least as some folks insist.  

Apparently, future iterations of AI connected wearables will apparently use real-time data (sleep, heart-rate, etc.) for crisis prediction. Whoa. I appreciate there could be some life-saving benefits, but I can't help but imagine what the billionaires will do with that data? Yikes. I'm no technophobe, but I think I'll stick to analog for now. 

How 'bout you?

27/31

Links to 26/31 &
the 31 Vibrant Things
Launch Post

I gave this clay sculpture to my wife as a wedding present. It's us. At least, that's what it meant over thirty years ago. Yet many years later, I realize it signifies much more than I ever understood then. I like the premise that time + reflection = wisdom and thus this vibrant thing and its meaning has matured with us. 

Look closely: those two figures are forever young, kids really. Appropriate considering that regardless of age, we do this wonderous life once, forever novices to new experience—starting somewhere, facing unknowns, stumbling along, learning our way. 

Notice they're not smiling. We humans default to fun, seeking sugar and satisfaction, but like the saying, easy come, easy go; we build a stronger relationship if it's based on more than fun. Life behooves seriousness too.

Notice they're leaning on each other but looking different directions? Love means learning to support, rely on, and trust each other...knowing we are not alone helps us cope with struggles...but we are also individuals who bring unique strengths and that helps us be a team, to thrive more than just manage. She lifts me up and I coax her down from the clouds. 

Notice the flowers? Whatever circumstances we encounter, both desirous and dreadful, if we pay attention, we both know there's always something beautiful (humorous, positive, educational....) in the delightful design of things.

Notice they're clay? We're unfinished. We—our relationship—must adapt, evolve, must "go back 3 spaces," "take a trip to Reading Railroad," or "advance to go and collect $200." Life will make us and mold us and remake us again and those are the costs of personal growth (and Monopoly). 

26/31

Links to 25/31 &
The 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

I find it quite remarkable that today I'm a mere FIVE years younger than my Dad.😶Although decades have passed, I understand him so much better now that we're the age of brothers instead of 30 years apart. 

He was tough, had unnecessarily large hands and eyebrows, and laughed like his lungs were hiding old air mattresses. His nickname was the Grinch, but his heart grew many sizes in the presence of two things: machines and his grandkids. All things with engines were most vibrant things to him. So in his later years, he combined those loves and made toys.  

The summer after he died, our little family took a road trip and visited the Alberta Reynolds Museum. Their motto is "Celebrating the Spirit of the Machine." If ghosts were real my Dad could have haunted this museum—the Ford Model Ts, the first snowmobiles (huge), a 1940s helicopter, early 20th century tractors—there's nothing more he would have enjoyed. 

While there, we bought this little tractor soldered together from a spark plug, nuts, and copper. My kids and I knew instantly it was the perfect souvenir, a truly vibrant signifier for my Dad. Soon after that museum visit, I called my Mom and told her how much Dad would have loved this museum; she surprised me when she revealed he had visited it once, with a friend. I thought, whoa, maybe he is haunting it? 😉 

Sometimes now when I look in the mirror first thing in the morning, I see my Dad there—his eyes, his cleft chin, and yes, even a version of his eyebrows, ha. Dear friends, who says we can't time-travel and who says we can't continue to have relationships with those we've lost? 

25/31

Links to 24/31 &
the 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

Years ago, I started a new job and quickly became close with a new colleague about 15 years younger than me. Becoming more connected, we discovered we have common Scottish heritage; he showed me his wedding photo, proudly donning his kilt. During that conversation, he asked me about my kids who were teenagers at the time. With a smirk, I didn't hesitate to say, "I wholeheartedly recommend marriage, but kids? Not so much." 

Little did I know he and his wife had just learned she was pregnant with their first child. Yup, insert foot here. I can be a tad too candid, even flippant sometimes. He didn't reveal the pregnancy until a few months later and we laughed about my comment. Why did I say that? 

We're not special; all families face all sorts of challenges, but sometimes, if you know what I mean, the phone call is coming from inside the house. But raising teens is behind us now, so today, would I say the same thing about having kids? 

I have thought about this a lot. I have sorted through my feelings. I have written words, words, words, and more words. I'm older now, and I've changed. Fortunately, the past is settled, frontal lobes have fully formed, we knitted ourselves back together, we've all grown—sadly, not all families find their way back to each other. Speaking of evolving, my daughter gave me this book during her first pregnancy and made this vibrant thing even more meaningful by filming herself reading it.😭

So as they raise their own children now (and only if they seek my perspective), I tell them my truth: being a parent will test you like nothing else. And you will fail. Repeatedly. So be prepared to fail at what will become the most important job you never imagined you'd be so terrible at. You will be triggered. You will be uncomfortable. You will need to confront your own shit. And it will hurt. And it may even break you a time or two. But it will still be worth it.