TVPic

This is some good advice whether or not you're ADD (and let's be honest, aren't we all a little bit ADD?)

#inowtakephotosofmyTV
#ithascometothis

♀?

Women and their new hairdos—what’s up with that? It’s always a big deal. Even when it doesn’t look like that big of a deal. Sure, a good haircut makes us all feel a little spiffier but can it really be life-changing? It’s just hair. I’m 61% sure that the other day the TV said we all wash our hair too often. Therefore, thanks to the TV, I am now toying with the notion of washing my hair on an as-need basis only. It just makes sense. I’m guessing women aren’t jumping on that bandwagon. This reminds me of pants.

Women and their pants—what’s up with that? Men hate pants. I am 91% sure that men would prefer to go pants-less 24/7. But women like pants. I wash clothes sometimes and I find pants in the basket that are odd. They look like mannequin pants. Yoga pants I think they’re called. But my wife doesn’t do yoga. Well, actually, she has done yoga but I think she’s more interested in yoga pants. This reminds me of DVDs.

Women and their DVDs—what’s up with that? My wife and the other women I know all have exercise DVDs that I’m 73% sure none of them ever use. All the latest exercise crazes. What’s the newest one? Rumba? Zumba? Poomba? By comparison, we guys have very different DVD collections, useful DVDs aka ridiculous, mindless comedies. The sillier the better. Movies that make a guy laugh so hard he chokes on his Pringles. This reminds me of popcorn.

Women and their popcorn—what’s up with that? Popcorn is indeed tasty. But is it a meal? No. I’m 86% sure it’s not. Or at least it shouldn’t be. A meal needs peas and carrots. And fish. Preferably deep-fried. (The fish, not the peas and carrots.) But women just want to eat popcorn for supper while they read a book. This reminds me of cards.

Women and the men they love—what’s up with that? I’m 100% sure that even though it’s difficult for us men to understand womanly ways and those women we love, I’m 94% sure we get the better "deal." (At least 59% of the time.)

5 Things

(My idea book overfloweth.)

Why write?
I believe that writing

1. heals, yourself first (then others).
2. builds: words, phrases, sentences, paragraphs, prose and poetry but moreover, it architects ideas, ideas upon which people can stand and speak and change the world.
3. reveals the wizard operating the wizard behind the curtain.
4. creates & preserves & even damages (be careful: it's powerful).
5. echoes (it's a kind of alchemy time travel too).

Memory Lane Meanderings

The one in which I recall 5 things that made me run like my butt was on fire:

1. one adorable orange fluffy and completely rabid fox that I had to fight off with snowballs in the parking lot of my workplace (just imagine the surveillance video footage).
2. one out-of-control snowboarder. (It's challenging running on skiis.)
3. one moose. (I was on a lawn tractor at the time which I thought would startle that moose a.k.a. small dinosaur, but that beast just scoffed at my dinky tractor and charged, so I pooped my pants and ran.)
4. Adelle Hardie after I spit a loogie in her hair on the first day of Grade 5. (Nope. Not proud.)
5. one vice-principal.