Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Just so you know, the answer is no.

Do spruce bugs deserve mercy?

My son and I hate them. They are huge and evil and I once fell off a ladder after one landed on me. I may have screamed like a toddler. Because they bite. Hard. Plus I know a guy whose face got ripped off by one. And another guy who mowed off his own leg trying to avoid one. I don't own a gun and frankly, never would, but if I ever did, I would likely choose a Glock and I would use it to annihilate spruce bugs for ruining our wondrous outdoors.

Have a nice day.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Things one should never outgrow:

Although still delicious, pop rocks don't look the same as they did when I was a kid because, well, Breaking Bad. Nevertheless, although addictive, they are thankfully not blue meth, and therefore I believe they are still part of a healthy breakfast (lunch, supper, whatever). Folks, it's just common sense. And even though I'm no longer eleven, it still sounds like laughter feels when I put them all in my mouth at once. Highly recommend. (No pun intended there Walter White fans.)

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Just so you know, the answer is no.

Do bears shit in the... woods?

Actually no. They shit anywhere they want. Absolutely anywhere. And I'm okay with that. Because I'm not going to stop them. Or get out of the car. Gulp.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

Dear Google Hangout,

Yes. I'm still here. But I must admit, this prompt was a little unnerving. Why so existential Google? Are you watching me?

Someone who wonders sometimes if science fiction isn't so fiction-y anymore.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Just so you know, the answer is no.

Was this built by giants?

It does look as though Hagrid or Mag the Mighty built it, but this picnic table-for-10 was indeed constructed by a very talented regular-sized human being whose only wizardry skill is nevertheless quite impressive: carpentry. I've decided it's the coolest picnic table ever, uh, unless it requires moving at some point.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

mosquitoes and the fine print on mosquito repellent products: "Mosquito Shield Citronella Candle" is "not intended to repel mosquitoes." What?

But I'm pretty sure this could work.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

Just why?

What inspired this purple polka-dotted chicken butterfly chromosomal mess?
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