Things that deserve the stink-eye:

What the plastic fork?

What are the odds it was like that before I used it? 🤔

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

For realz or just clever marketing?
(I would brand this unsheared oil.)

Hmm. Does my beard stink? Is it not shiny enough? No one's complained. Yet. Honestly though, it didn't occur to me until I discovered beard oil. According to Reddit, beard oil is a good thing. Could be I guess. But then I researched the ingredients. According to the Art of Manliness (also new to me), you can DIY your own beard oil using the following recipe:

-1 tbsp melted coconut oil
-3 drops of peppermint oil

Hmm. Have the same sort sorts of sexist marketing practices that target (and overcharge) women become commonplace for men as well? Totally.

Anyway, I'll let you know how this works out after I finish reading the manly skills section of the Art of Manliness. Lol.

Marshmallow test?

I hesitate to call it an oven mitt. Sure, it's an 'ove' glove but I prefer HULK HAND. A gift from my wife, instead of hulk anger it incites in me this desire to test it on really, REALLY hot things. Casseroles? No problem. Lava? ABSOLUTELY. And that's why I foresee a sad end for this asbestos-packed kitchen wonder-mitt. In other words, I suspect that around the campfire this summer, the marshmallow test will have a whole new meaning, and no stick required! That's reasonable, right?

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

exhausting all methods to commercialize and novelty-brand pretty much anything and everything. Unnecessary. See bottled water.

And in December, it really ramps up, doesn't it? As comedian Jim Gaffigan says, "everyone has the unspoken agreement that what happens in December, stays in December."

Well said Jim. Which is why I should never have mentioned this.

Nevermind. Carry on.

Just so you know, the answer is no.

When you can't even can't even for one more minute, should you give up?

Okay. Maybe sometimes the answer is indeed yes. And yet...I have no idea what this toy is supposed to do. But when I noticed it stuck in the ice and gravel along the pavement the other day, it said one thing to me: determination.

Despite what it's endured since some child lost it, this plastic figure continues to do the victory pose.

Okay you little shit piece of plastic: if you can do it, so can I. (And so can you.)

Things that deserve the stink-nose:

I know a guy who needs this so I bought it for him.

Don't ask. (But oh the stories I could tell.)

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

Just why?

lawn-ornaments.

What inspired this purple polka-dotted chicken butterfly chromosomal mess?

Things that (think I) deserve the stink-eye?

Apparently.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

I bought these much-too-expensive Cracker Jacks so I could enjoy me an innocent little time-travel-trip back to my boyhood but instead all I got was:
a. about 6 peanuts.
b. a cheap sheriff sticker (instead of the sheriff badge like I deserved, I mean come on).
c. annoyed because I wore my sheriff sticker but it must have fallen off after about ten minutes and then I couldn't find it and thus I didn't get to be the sheriff for very long.
d. about 1000 calories and bummed.

Sometimes being a grown up is unnecessarily hard.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

Dear lady in the check-out line behind me,

Why do you need shoulder pads?

I know nothing about fashion but, um, as a guy, I wish I could actually verbalize these thoughts, and in the kindest way possible, suggest that unless you are linebacker, or you are time-traveling to the 1980s, there is absolutely no need to waste your money on these.

And another thing, who knew these actually still existed?

Things one should never outgrow:

Shouldn't there be an explosion every time one bowls a strike?

Yes. And a happy dance too.

Just so you know, the answer is no.

Could there possibly be a better Christmas tree than Charlie Brown's?

Just so you know, the answer is no.

Does snow spray in a can taste the same as whipped cream in a can?

#oops
#readthelabel

Just so you know, the answer is no.

source

Should anyone go shopping this Friday?

Things one should never outgrow:

whatever these things are.

I call them sprongies. I had forgotten about these spring-loaded toys until I discovered this Halloween-inspired example at the local Subway. Instant reminders of my childhood, whose day wouldn't be made instantly better by a sprongy or two?

Hmm. I think my inner child might be a dimwit.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

Um, I am the kind of guy who reads the directions but no thanks toilet seat instructions, I think I got this.

Just so you know the answer is no.

Is it ever worth it or at all necessary to line-up to buy the newest version of anything?

Wish Machine

Source

Like all Gen X'ers, I’m still waiting for flying cars but I’m prepared to wait a little longer now because I've recognized that the future is actually already here. Let me state the obvious again: the future is NOW. And how do I know?

It’s thanks to one astonishing invention. Truthfully, this invention makes as much sense to me as texting does to most Grandmas. I don’t understand how it works but, like gas prices, not everything can be explained so let’s just focus on what’s important: no one could have predicted this invention would EVER exist. AND YET IT DOES. I’m referring to the ultimate creation machine (now available for personal use): the 3D printer.

Thinking about it just makes me sweat. IMAGINE the possibilities.

Before I share some possibilities, let’s just ponder a 3D printer shall we? I love all things creative. Creative people or “creatives” LOVE to brainstorm. Think of the moment someone brainstormed a 3D printer. Genius? Yes. Practical? No. And that is my point. What creatives DON’T or SHOULDN’T do while brainstorming is evaluate their thinking. That comes later, and it should, but during the beginning stage, creativity is KILLED by judgment. In other words, one must let the mind go, let it fly. Some of those ideas will leave the nest successfully and some will hit the ground head on. Feathers everywhere? That’s ok. Creativity is always messy and sometimes even ridiculous. But that’s necessary. Think about it. This notion explains everything from pet rocks to chocolate dipped donuts stuffed with cookie dough. How could those two delights exist if someone had been using judgment? And yet, imagine our world without them.

And that’s why the 3D printer is amazing. Not only is it creativity itself; it encourages more creativity. It’s like brainstorming come to life. It’s like a wish machine that makes wishes! That’s why I want my own 3-D printer to...(Reminder: no judgement please.)

1.      Make me extra copies of my glasses (in case I lose them again).

2.      Make money. C’mon, you were thinking it too.

3.      Make me abs. Just press print and boom, I'm a hottie.

And so much more too. Plus, just imagine being with a group of friends in somebody’s garage with a 3D printer (insert giddiness here)...oh the things we’d manufacture!

Okay, now you can judge, but I hope you’ll agree that even if these print jobs are nuts, creativity not only predicts the future, it produces it. 

This is my hood.

Dear Canadians,
No explanation necessary, right? This little brown chunk of plastic is an essential Canadian tool invented by one clever coffee-addicted entreprenerd. I am in awe of  his idiot-geniusness.

Dear Everyone else,
Wth?

#itsaCanadianthing
#thanksmichelle

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

My Brain: what does jet-puffed even mean?

My heart: who cares? It sounds like 

a jet stream of sugar and I WANT IT.

My brain: *resignedly shakes itself*

promoting marshmallow creme as "fat free" is like saying red herrings are not actually fish. It may be true but that's not the point.

(And yet, I want this in my belly.)