Let's be honest:

Hate makes you an asshole.

race is in your head. Racism is not.

1. "I think there's just one kind of folks. Folks." ~Harper Lee

2. "You never understand a person until you see things from his point of view." ~Harper Lee

Which ones might you read?

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A wise woman I know once introduced me to something I’ve thought about many times: the human library. Think about this concept. I am always fascinated by people and I love to learn. I truly believe that I can learn something from every person I encounter. But there are so many people in the world. And I have so much to learn. What might we all learn from a human “book” and how might it change us? 

The Human Library “is designed to build a positive framework for conversations that can challenge stereotypes and prejudices through dialogue.” It’s a “place where real people are on loan to readers.”

Whose life experience might be “borrowed” and shared for an afternoon and what would one gain from “reading” his or her life? Organized in libraries all over the world, human library events are held where the public is invited to “borrow a book” and speak one-on-one or in small groups with remarkable people who share their unique true-life stories and perspectives. Imagine that. It sounds both intimidating and exhilarating. Perhaps that’s why it has such a weighty effect on those who dare “read” these stories. Although I have never visited a human library, I do feel like I have had the awesome experience of encountering human books, most notably Ray Charles, Wab Kinew, and when I was a teenager, a Hiroshima survivor. They challenged and changed my worldview. I’ve heard about other “Books” rich with stories. Which ones might you “read?” A deaf blind man? A soldier with PTSD? A gay single father? An Olympic coach? An alcoholic? An abuse survivor? Someone with ADHD? A Muslim? A homeless person? A paramedic? A recovering addict? A farmer who lost his farm? A cancer survivor? A parent whose baby lived for 21 days? A person with cerebral palsy? A Hutterite? A female police office? The possibilities are as endless as, well, books.

In my opinion, there is something profound in our human make-up, our human curiosity, our human nature to overcome our differences when we encounter in each other a fascinatingly good story. In my perfect world, we would live with and respect our fellow human beings like we are human books in a world that is a human library, and despite our inevitable differences, we would at least “read” each other’s stories. 

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

Is it weird that this is the the first thing I think of now?

Things one should never outgrow:

(Thanks Sherri.)

moxie.

This is my 92-year-old Gma's first selfie.

"Say yes and you'll figure it out afterwards." ~Tina Fey

Direction

Basic landscape. Notice the foreground, the middleground, the background. Picture yourself navigating from birth through life to death like walking through a landscape: further away from one and closer to another, all the while perspective shifting. And suddenly you stop, that horizon line still so far away, or so it seems, and wonder, did I go anywhere at all? Did I achieve anything? Am I lost? Will I ever get there?

Yesterday, I attended a funeral for a lovely woman I did not know particularly well. And yet, she made a strong impression. Yesterday her friends cried, her brother gave a funny and poignant eulogy and, I imagine, her elderly parents felt like they were silently drowning. Two months ago they celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary with her.

Work colleagues, only periodically did our paths cross. And yet, I noticed she was some of my absolutely favourite things: humble, respectful, witty, encouraging, a good listener. And above all, a dedicated teacher.

The card from her celebration of life reads, "successful is the person who has lived well, laughed often and loved much, who has gained the respect of children, who leaves the world better than they found it, who has never lacked appreciation for the Earth's beauty, who never fails to look for the best in others or give the best of themselves."

Exactly. Imagine our lives are like landscapes. And wouldn't it be something if we painted these little lives with purpose? So someday, when others really examine them, they could use these landscapes to find their own way, to find direction? Now that's a legacy.

Things one should never outgrow:

Grandma & Teresa. 

our elders.

I admire and respect those who care for people who can no longer care for themselves. It confuses me when others neglect their grandparents and other elders. We are all busy. Yet everything we have is, in some way or another, a gift from before.

This is not a step.

It looks like a step, doesn't it? But look closely: this is not a step.

For obvious safety reasons, stepladders can be dangerous. With each subsequent level up, each step is a little more precarious than the last. Therefore, don't go too far, right? Heed the warning at the very top of most stepladders clearly marked "this is not a step."

There's a terrific irony in that but at the same time it's quite a truth too. As in life, sometimes what feels like the final step or what looks like the final step is indeed, not a step at all. And there you are, stuck. Either jump or make a shaky return to the floor. 

And yet steps shouldn't be this difficult, should they? After all, steps are the very things that make life manageable. Need a cake? Follow these steps. Need a career? Follow these steps. Addicted? Follow 12 steps. 

But as we all know, some steps are more complicated. And some, after taken, rouse regret. And some other steps may not have been taken intentionally, and then what? 

Some say no matter because the first step was the most important anyway. Without that first step, where would any of us be? It's a good point, and yet I’m interested in the next steps too because just maybe it’s steps we face when we realize we've gone the wrong way that are the most important. And then it’s that next step that makes all the difference. After all, stepping off is still a step. 

Still, stepping off may solve little. Maybe instead, it’s the reaching up and replacing of that darkened lightbulb instead. Illuminate so that others may see where and where not to step. Maybe that's the point of being on a stepladder in the first place. Why? Because I've learned just as much, maybe even more, from others’ missteps than their successes. 

Share your failures friends. I guarantee someone needs to hear them. Shed that light so others can see where and where not to step. Be the mentor you wish you’d had. 

Wordfuse (Problem Solving Edition)

Sometimes lemonade is more complicated than it should be. Make it anyway.

Just so you know, the answer is no.

Do pigs fly? Not so much.

(But sometimes, every once-in-a-while, they absolutely do.)

Really.

But the dog doesn't only need that
soup-bone. He needs me more. So
he drops it at my feet and well,
see how he stares at me? Waiting
for the next story and what's next?
Because that is the beautiful bond
between us. 

When I really want to reach people, when I really want them to hear me, when I really want them to understand, I tell them a story.

There has to be a somebody and a somewhere and the somebody wants something BUT there's a problem (or two) and so then something happens and something is solved or something isn't and whether it takes two seconds or two minutes and even if the story isn't that good, that story is worth something. It is. Always. Even if only one person really heard it, really felt it ring like a little bell inside, the very story that was needed.

All storytellers, all writers know this. And all listeners do too. We see each other in stories, we make eye-contact despite whatever perceived-barriers. Maybe we could all understand each other much much more than we realize, but we just aren't listening to each other's stories as carefully as we need to.

It's child's play. But people grow up and forget. Sad.

“The stories people tell have a way of taking care of them. If stories come to you, care for them. And learn to give them away where they are needed. Sometimes a person needs a story more than food to stay alive.” -from ‘Lessons for Grownups fromChildren’s Books’ 

The most? The best?

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A 17-year-old won the Nobel Peace Prize.

I'm still thinking about that. 

Anyone discouraged by the today’s youth, think about that. Any discouraged youth, think about what you can actually accomplish.

And why did Malala Yousafzai win the Nobel Peace Prize?

1.      Was it because she is a girl?

2.      Was it because she is Pakistani?

3. Was it because her father encouraged her to go to school despite the danger, especially for girls?

4. Was it because she publicly criticized the Taliban for trying to prevent girls from attending school?

5. Was it because a Taliban gunman barged onto her bus one day and threatened to shoot everyone unless she identified herself?

6. Was it because she said I am Malala and was then shot in the head?

7. Was it because she recovered and explained to the world that what extremists fear most seems to be one girl with a book?

8. Was it because she had no desire for revenge, nor is she against anyone; instead she simply wants all children to have access to education including the sons and daughters of the Taliban and all terrorists and extremists?

9. Was it because leaders and organizations all over the world were inspired to support her cause?

10. Or was it because she says, “one child, one teacher, one pen, and one book can change the world”?

Boiled down, the criteria for the Nobel Peace Prize is simple: the prize goes to “whoever has done the most or the best work” to uphold and promote peace. Yet it's so incredibly vague to say, "do your best." Best must be defined. Enter Malala. Her most? Her best? It was her attitude. It sparked, it inspired, it elevated. 

Friends: it’s our attitude. That’s it right there. Define it and it will make the most and the best difference to everyone and everything, even yourself. 

Wordfuse (World Events Edition)

(noun) The opposite of mob mentality.

Undoubtedly, when there's enough broken glass, when the looting is over, when the threats go silent, when the same mistakes have been made again again, there is always a peaceful majority, a moral mob who will clean up the debris and they will also work one hundred ways to help their communities heal. Ways that are unselfish. Ways not motivated by greed. Or revenge. Ways that ripple.

Sure, it's fair to ask whose morality? But don't we all know what's truly right? Peace, love, respect for each other, for all. With that in mind, and despite all the complexities that could probably punch holes in my idealism here, it seems simple to me that whether we like it or not, there are really only two ways to be in life: you can help or you can hinder.

My life in 6 words...

Jessica Hagy

When will I write a book?

Some Give.

Door's wide open.

“Giving in is not the same as giving up.”

Think about that. Like me, it may help you sort something out.

I interpret these phrases several ways.

      1.Giving in is to compromise or surrender.

      2.Giving up is to abandon or to release.

I know, I know. Some might say we should never give up. But is giving up always negative?

Giving in is a way to continue momentum in another direction. Giving up is a way to discontinue momentum. And yet sometimes giving up might also lead to a new solution, a new outlook, a new path. Depending on the situation, I see value in both reactions.

For example, one lesson I learned early was to give up my need to be right. Marriage teaches this to us all doesn't it? However, as the youngest in my family I developed this essential skill fairly early, just to manage conflict during my youth. Yet beyond family, it taught me well in life that giving in, compromising, is a way to forge relationships and build bridges. And I am proud to say that I try to seek to learn something from everyone regardless of gender, education, age, religion, culture, past or present, whatever. This learning inspires me; the listening does too. So do great leaders. I feel this has helped me determine what I agree with and what I don’t. In this sense, giving in and giving up has given me so much more.

But there’s another lesson I still haven’t mastered yet: give up focusing on what’s wrong instead of what’s right. This lesson can make all the difference in moving forward and achieving happiness. Why? Give in or give up; either way, something will give. 

Just so you know, the answer is no.

Should Toronto re-elect Rob Ford?

60 Second Speech

"If you had to make an impromptu 60 second speech to the entire world right now, what would you say?”

*taps on microphone*

I don’t have much time and now I’ve wasted it saying that. Rats. This is a tough task. I guess I would say that tough tasks are worthwhile. So is saying what you need to say. And that’s why, world, if any of you are truly going to listen to me, I will say it loud: STOP. Let me explain.

There’s this fun video game called Rollercoaster Tycoon. The goal is to build an amusement park complete with a variety of rides, food stalls, bathrooms, even flower beds, and so on. While constructing the park, little people visit and go on the rides. If the rides are too intense, they barf and leave the park. If the rides are not intense enough, they get annoyed or sad and leave the park. This is not an easy game. The entire process takes time, ingenuity, perseverance and especially maintenance. But when you reach the objective and win the game all those tiny little people STOP, turn, let go of their balloons, look directly up at you, and applaud.

It’s cool when that happens. I believe there are two important lessons in this game, this very human game:

1.      Make it good. Whatever you do, do it for others, and make it good.

2.      Also: STOP and appreciate the park.

*taps on microphone* 

Sorry world. With 60 seconds, this is it. Now this: if you had to make an impromptu 60 second speech to the entire world right now, what would you say?

Things that deserve the googly-eye:

Just one example of why I get a kick
out of so many of the people I work with. 

mayhemployees.

About 100% of the time I choose to 100% love 100% of the people I work with, and most days I get the feeling they do the same. Thank you!

(Ok, maybe 99%.)

Things one should never outgrow:

marveling, especially at the women in one's life.

Pigs Flying? Sure.

Grumpy Pig

Everyone always talks about January. Sooooooooooo long. Sooooooooo depressing. Soooooooo cold. Soooooooooo dark. But I say, what about February?!

It’s sooooooo short but the days get longer thus it’s completely confusing. There’s more light to interrupt sleep. There’s Valentines Day and all the pressure associated with that. Depressing. And chocolate. And flowers. Those are imported from other countries and that leaves a serious carbon footprint. And people get engaged. And married. And we all know how that turns out. And the groundhogs. Don’t get me started on the rodents. Do the lemmings get their own day? No. And that is probably why they jump off cliffs.

And another thing: this year there’s no February 29. Total rip-off. We should get to make up an extra day every year. Just one. Every. Single Year. Is that too much to ask? I’m thinking work would be optional of course. And we wouldn’t age. And on that extra day we could eat everything we want without consequences. And well, that reminds me of other things that are never going to happen:

1.      Pigs flying.

I’m tired of that. Such and such and such when pigs fly. What?! Of course this expression isn’t intended literally but considering the groundhog thing, if there were any possibility of pigs flying it would definitely happen in February. Think about it. But there’s this problem too: it would likely happen on February 30, maybe the 31^st. Not too likely then is it? So frustrating.

Problems eh? Problems all the time. Problems. Problems. Problems...

(Pssssst grumpy people...here’s a message for you from someone who says it much better than I: “Be careful how you interpret the world: it's like that.” ~Erich Heller)

Second? Best.

from Creative Commons

I'm sure you’ve heard this before: “the second mouse gets the cheese.”

Think about that. Sure. That first mouse thought he was onto something big. And he was. Because, well, SNAP.

I’ve heard it said that second place is just the first loser but to me, that sounds like something a loser might say. (Sorry.) Maybe second place is actually something special. Some examples:

1. Having seconds = yum.

2. Second nature implies real savvy.

3. Second honeymoon? Yes please.

4. Second class? Who in their right mind would want to be part of the royal family anyway?

5. Second-guessing? The unexpected can be quite entertaining.

6. Having second thoughts? It could help prevent poor decisions.

7. Playing second-fiddle? Less stress.

8. Every second counts? Most days, yup.

9. Second chances? Where would any of us be without them?

10. Getting one’s second wind means we all have within us, a least a little bit more.

There’s another famous saying: “we all have two hands: the first is to help ourselves, the second is to help others.” Think about that too. I am.