Kinda Perfect?

#mustbemorecarefulwhatiwishfor:#18.
#oops

33 Word Love Story

     An hour into our first date you suddenly revealed your mother died choking on peanuts. 

     I whispered, "my father was choked to death by a drug-dealer," and thought, I found you. At last.

I write non-fiction or creative non-fiction but I rarely write fiction. It's just so hard. However, the 33 word love story challenge at Trifecta just seemed like too much fun not to try. Click above and check out the other entries. Or try it.

20 things I want right now:

1. teleportation.

2. root beer.

3. a tape-worm (just temporarily).

4. Spring.

5. Nigella Lawson to cook for me.

6. one more conversation with my Dad.

7. my childhood cat.

8. time travel capabilities so I can check out the future for a just a few moments here and there every once in a while without any negative ripple-effect type repercussions. 

9. and/or a few do-overs too (without said consequences).

10. for wishful thinking to have power. 

11. a new roof.

12. the same lottery ticket everyone else wants.

13. another veggie burger at the chalet here.

14. all the stupid things I've ever said to disappear like the dark before the painted clouds at sunrise.

15. tickets to Coldplay and an invitation from them to collaborate on a song.

16. someone to wash and cut my hair.

17. no more aches and pains.

18. a whole bunch of snow for my son.

19. plus one more thing for you.

20. and for you too.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

Maybe don't google the
"with mother" feature.
Okay fine, click here.

This stuff reeks but here's a list of what it cures:

-warts? Check.
-unsettled stomach? Check.
-farts? Check.
-zits? Check.
-heartburn? Check.
-sinus infections? Check.
-can't poop? Check.
-fat bum? Check.
-baldness? Check.
-lawyers who do commercials? Check.
-Check engine light? Check.
-Ke$ha? It's worth a try.
-your sense of smell? Check.
-fertility? Check.

Wordfuse (Trending Edition)

It's tough to predict what might be fadorable this year. What will people fadopt in 2012? What fadvances will be made? Who will we fadmire? What will we fadmonish? 

Fadmit it. The only real predictable thing is, of course, the end of the world. People are getting prepared you know. Like Woody Harrelson. And Joe Rogan. And a rapper named, uh, Canibus. I don't make this stuff up okay? They're all on the celebrity believers list here. It's on the internet and everything. Those celebrities are like, preparing stuff. And stuff. I don't know what that means either but it's all clear in the video below (note the dinosaur symbolism). Now what fadjective would one use to describe this fadvertisement? 

Things one should never outgrow:

lookouts.

Remember when we were little? After we built the fort, there would always be a lookout. It might be a place, possibly camouflaged or from above or peeking out somewhere no one would suspect. The lookout might also be a designated member of the group who hid and watched for what approached.

But what did we expect to approach? Usually it was our parents' unwanted commands. "It's time to go home!" "It's time to come inside!" (And then we would hide for as long as we could.) Sometimes the lookouts were for approaching enemies. But except for an occasional older sibling who threatened to wreck the fort, none really came. No. The real purpose of the lookout was the suspense.

I loved that feeling.

I think we adults forget that feeling, that anticipation. That's why I'm realizing that lookouts are still important....

For the past several months I have been literally counting the days. And then yesterday, I heard a whisper, "Just stop." I've wasted so much time trying to get life back the way it was. But the life I want back doesn't exist anymore.

This is my life. Right now.

I have to stop wasting my time counting. Instead, I have to build a lookout, one that looks ahead instead of back, one that is excited about what could be next whatever that might be, one that believes in promise again, one with more wonder than worry.

This is my hood.

Some facts about the Canadian moose:
1. If your bathroom scale shows you are about 300 pounds (135 kilos) then you weigh about a quarter of a moose.
2. They like to pretend they're blind.
3. They pshaw at people parked on the highway in little cars. Or snicker. Like they did to me. This morning. As they had a meeting. All four of them.
4. They don't give a shit if you're late.

Wordfuse "I'm over that" Edition

Pretty much what most resolutions have become by now.

Let's be (too) honest.

Sometimes the people we're forced to live with family members can be a tad too candid can't they?

My teen son says that I'm getting so old that this is what I look like when I sleep. He says it also explains how I developed a nasty sty [see clip from Yes Man below].

I say I wouldn't sleep like I'm catatonic if I weren't so stressed from raising teenagers. I say I highly recommend marriage, but kids? Nope. I say other things too, but by then everyone has left the room. Bummer.

#aging

#norespect

#teenforsale

#ilaughedfortenminutesandthenicalledmylawyertochangethewill

#hopefullynotforeshadowing

Things one should never outgrow:

building tree forts.