Lifework

I'm so inspired by the Artemis II astronauts. (Click here to read about another likewise inspired Gen X'er.) 

The mission is a milestone achievement for us Canadians as it marks the first time a Canadian (Jeremy Hansen) is part of a lunar mission. If you're following it, you also know it's the first time a woman (Christina Hammock Koch) has orbited the moon. And it's a Canadian-U.S. collaboration. Sigh, I remember those days fondly. 

I first heard about the mission over a week ago while watching a news clip during which a cynical news commentator cited the mission as yet another distraction by the US administration to deflect from ongoing scandal after scandal. At the time I felt just as cynical. I still do. How can I not? As I mull over this war and its warmonger leader easily rage-bated by a criminal regime he and his claquers thought he could bulldoze down over the weekend to do what...build a statue of himself and a ballroom? Insert 63 swear words and the barf emoji here. 

It's exhausting.

But, dear friends, look to some real leaders: the men and woman aboard this ship the size of a ten-person tent. Their aim is to test the aircraft's systems for future missions and exploration, and that in itself is historic, but in the clip below, there's a truly human operative unfolding: I'd call it lifework. Using this opportunity, the astronauts seem to surprise a fellow crew member with a touching dedication, one that speaks to authentic legacy: not greed, not fame, not to escape consequences, but what we selflessly do in the name of honour and friendship. 

Boost

Endless possibilities: YouTube

I never once had a babysitter growing up, other than the TV. My 70s/80s parents had no qualms about letting me watch whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Classic Gen X.

Many months ago now (well before covid-19), I cut ties with regular television. I had been contemplating it for years. I went back to school online to get another degree, and had less time to waste. Telus pissed me off, yet again. Plus, there were new, less mainstream choices to explore. So now we have Netflix and a few streaming services. But my favourite? Definitely YouTube.

When I told my daughter YouTube was my new favourite "station," she joked, "What are you watching Dad? Make-up tutorials?" Nope. But almost everything else: short films, European talk shows, how-to draw videos, Ted Talks, renovation clips, people seeking attention...and old clips of shows from my youth (I missed you Bionic Man), family reunions, adoption stories, old music videos. Similar to the time I binge-watched Parks & Recreation, YouTube is lifting me up, boosting my mental health. I love the variety, current content and awkward clips from the past. I love the way the algorithms make choices for me; I love trying to find the threads between these choices. I love watching people be creative. It inspires me. I take notes. I make plans. I know, I know; I'm not dumb: it's all about the dopamine, it's all about longing for less fraught times, and I admit that currently, much of this time-killer is passive consumption. I should be writing/creating/working. But, like some of you I suspect (?), I still need some extra down time to percolate, before I fully face the weary world again. Thanks for being my newest babysitter YouTube...gotta go now and watch the original Wonder Woman spin around and save the world. 

Let's be honest:

we should all have the confidence of a miniature donkey.

They have mohawks. Long fuzzy ears. Beautiful down-cast eyes. Upon entering the fence, they just mosey on over and stand next to you, waiting to be petted. Don't try to move them though; they are tiny, but solid and, as advertised, stubborn. And I swear they are nervous system regulators.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

even my car's message centre has started to sound as illiterate as Trump (rage-tweeting about everyone but Fox News).

As a Scot might say, he's a blethering
numpty eejit.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

A few days ago, I went to a team meeting away from my regular work-site and discovered when I arrived that I was wearing two different shoes. One gray. One black. One with a thicker heel than the other. Um....

What can you do but laugh? (I've actually done this before.) So I showed everyone at my meeting and we laughed and laughed. Did I mention I'm one of the older ones on our team? I really enjoy working with those toddlers though, so no big whoop.

Then...I texted my wife a photo and she laughed too.

Returning to work the following day, I made an usual discovery...first one co-worker...then another....then another...then another....

My sneaky wife! I felt a simultaneous aching sheepishness and utter love for those charming buggers I work with. What's better than that?

Full Cup

We've all had the is-the-cup-half-full conversation. I've been thinking a lot about this debate lately, and the people in my life whose perspectives have greatly influenced mine. Sadly, one man whose point of view always pointed me toward realism will now be missing from my life much, much too soon. Dear friends: I urge you not to surround yourself with people who agree with you all the time. Like the saying goes, if everyone in the room is thinking the same way, then no one is thinking. We only grow through challenges.

Despite the unfair loss of his voice, I seek to remain optimistic and hopeful, yet, thanks to him, realistic too. Because, let's be honest, the cup may only be half full of water but it's also half full of air. If you ask me, that's a full cup.

Inside My Box

Inside my box.

I slept in a box this weekend. Along with several other people, I participated in a homeless simulation, and I got the message. 

I have seen bums sleeping on the streets in Edmonton, Montreal, Paris, Rome. Sometimes I would put a coin or two in their cups and move on. Before my experience, I hadn't thought about what it means to label someone a "bum." Sleeping on asphalt outside overnight has me thinking carefully about that word and its intent. When I call someone a bum, am I saying...You are a piece of crap? You are connected to a bodily function that I'd rather not dwell on? Hence I can ignore you?

My 12-hour homeless experience was the tip of the tip of the poverty iceberg, yet the event clearly said gratitude. Usually blind to my privileges, I saw them everywhere at home today: blankets, pillows, lip balm, toothpaste, mosquito spray, deodorant, sunglasses, socks, shampoo, food. So much comfort. Doesn't everyone deserve this comfort? Yet the poor are blamed, dismissed, disrespected, ignored.  

How does that lack of compassion impact a person's daily mental health?

Science teaches that pain is subjective. Our brains use pain as a signal for action; the actual pain is not an accurate indicator of how much damage has occurred to our bodies (or minds). Thus pain responses are individual in nature. This is both fascinating to me, and, considering the homeless, tragic. Yet it explains a lot, because if my pain is not your pain, it takes effort to truly understand your pain. Thus the homeless, and what they're experiencing--so abstract to me--becomes invisible to me as it does for so many of us. 

I survived one night sleeping outside in a box, but if I had to do it again tonight and tomorrow and tomorrow and almost everyone ignored me everyday...who would my pain make of me? A thief? A drug addict? Dead? It's not so abstract anymore. 

Look.

Pay attention. I was well into adulthood before I discovered that even spruce trees flower.

Much goes unnoticed. Distraction eclipses all sorts of things.

Look. And look again.

Things one should never outgrow:

To me, this broken tree looks like a lion. 

showing who you are on the inside.

Vulnerability requires courage. It might feel like you're breaking. In a way, you are. But the beauty's inside. Bring it out. Your honesty will encourage others to be more authentic too. And it frees us to become more.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

obviously re-branding way too hard. Nice try desperate bathroom scale company. Nice try.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

Really? No women? Not even one?

"Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength." G.D. Anderson

Emogeez

Um, by texting this emoji you...
have a shadow?

I hesitate to admit this since it makes me sound 94 years old, but I pretty much don’t do emojis. If people text me a happy face emoji or a thumbs up emoji, I gotcha. And there are a few emojis that I will occasionally use (for obvious reasons) albeit quite rarely:

-ZZZ

-thumbs down

-a gun

-a small fire, and naturally

-a shrimp. 

Ahem. No explanation required for these right? Anyway, text me emojis outside this narrow collection and I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why? Well firstly, emojis are like billboards for ants, but smaller. Secondly, does the poop emoji actually enhance one's productivity/credibility? And thirdly, the real kicker is that emojis are more ambiguous than Donald Trump's foreign policy. Some examples:

1. The grimacing face emoji: Are you distraught? Or did you smell something bad? Perhaps you just got new braces?
2. Any heart other than red: Heartburn? Or jaundiced? Or were you just awarded a medal?
3. The smiley face with money symbols for eyes and a green money tongue: Did you find money on the street? Or is this an epiphany about your shopping addiction? Maybe you swallowed a $20 bill?
4. The smiley face with one enlarged eye with the tongue hanging out: Stroke? Should I call 911? Or are you winking (and if so I’d recommend that you put your tongue back in your mouth)?
5. And finally, unless you’ve been abducted, do not text the screaming alien and even then it’s infinitely more productive if you just phone home, ok ET?

One more thing. Honestly, despite the whiff of bitterness in these words, I don’t hate emojis. I love that language is always evolving and I am never against playful usage. The problem is this: clarity. Plus there’s one other problem based on a common argument in defense of emojis: they save time. You know what actually saves your time and mine? C'mon. Say it with me. If we...put...our...phones...away. :)

Things one should outgrow?

Do the math people. Chances are 1 in a really big number in the millions. Chances are even better that this practice makes our old math teachers very, very sad. Why not buy happiness this way instead?

Hammer?

Imagine a hammer. A well-worn hammer. Now think about history and that hammer. What were the very first hammers like? What were they used for? To build up or to tear down? To bust or to beat? Although the hammer’s design is much improved, its function remains mostly the same. We can use a hammer two ways:

1. constructively or 2. destructively.

I’m sure I was quite young the first time I used a hammer. And despite my age then, I immediately knew the power of a hammer. It would smash anything! Especially my fingers. I remember the frustration when I missed the nail yet again. I know the fear of dropping the hammer and wondering about those working below (or my toes). I know the exhaustion of using a sledge hammer and the satisfying way it cements things together. I know the power I wield swinging a hammer. It seems to me that there are plenty of lessons in a hammer. Perhaps the best though is Abraham Maslow’s lesson. He quite famously wrote in his ground-breaking book about human psychology, “I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.”

People, everything in this complex world is not necessarily a nail. And we need not always choose the same tools: everything does not need to be pounded. Maybe there’s a different way to think about things? Maybe it’s not so simple? Maybe it’s not so black and white? Think back. At many times we people believed things that were clearly mistakes:

1.       The world was flat.

2.       Climate change was a myth.

3.       The people in charge have all the answers.

No one has all the answers. No one. Not even you. Especially if all you have is a hammer. 

Things one should never outgrow:

puns. They're phun.

(Miss ewe too daughter.)

Things one (and all) should outgrow:

source

war.

Why the fuss Canadians?

source

When asked why he chose equal numbers of men and women to form his cabinet, PM Justin Trudeau said, “Because it’s 2015.”

Boom. Pretty much the equivalent of dropping the mic.

Not all Canadians appreciate this. But I can’t fathom why. If it’s because of sexism, whether willful or through pure ignorance, that’s total bunk. Anyone who has a mother should be ashamed of themselves for that sort of patriarchal nonsense. Personally, I think this decision is a moot point. It doesn’t matter where anyone is on the political spectrum, there is no point debating this. Any debate speaks to bias and sexism because any Canadian citizen age 18 or over, male or female, of a particular race or religion, immigrant or indigenous, ALL PERSONS, have the right to run for elected office. Ever hear of the “Famous Five”? Or the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms? Since 1960. (Go ahead and google it; the history of this is dreadful.) So 55 years later, why is this even a thing?

For those who contend that he chose gender over qualifications or experience like some political publicity stunt, I doubt that, because puh-lease, do people really think there aren't 15 women capable of these leadership roles? Even if some lack experience, it doesn’t mean he chose the wrong people. For eons we’ve had qualified/unqualified, experienced/inexperienced, predominantly male politicians who’ve misrepresented their constituents and our country in numerous and appalling ways. See the Senate for several recent examples. And no, of course, not all are corrupted by power, but definitely a few too many. Anyone, regardless of gender can be nominated, be elected, and be really shitty at their jobs. We Canadians have that right too.

Justin Trudeau could also have answered that question this way: “Because it’s my choice.” It was and it is because Canadians elected him. That’s democracy and despite its misgivings, when I look around the world, I don’t see government better than democracy. So considering it’s November, let’s pause for a moment of silence and reflect on why we have a democracy. And let’s remember how fortunate we are to live where we live. 

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

I bought these much-too-expensive Cracker Jacks so I could enjoy me an innocent little time-travel-trip back to my boyhood but instead all I got was:
a. about 6 peanuts.
b. a cheap sheriff sticker (instead of the sheriff badge like I deserved, I mean come on).
c. annoyed because I wore my sheriff sticker but it must have fallen off after about ten minutes and then I couldn't find it and thus I didn't get to be the sheriff for very long.
d. about 1000 calories and bummed.

Sometimes being a grown up is unnecessarily hard.

Who?

source

Who’s the most important person on the hockey team? No one. Except maybe the guy who sharpened the skates.

Who’s the most important person on the corporate team? No one. Except maybe the guy who inspects and maintains the company jet.

Who’s the most important person on the synchronized swim team? No one. Except maybe the lifeguard.

Who’s the most important person on your surgical team? No one. Except maybe the person who sterilizes the instruments.

Who’s the most important member of the orchestra? No one. Except maybe fifty first music teachers.

Who’s the most important person on the palliative care team? No one. Except maybe the first responder.

Who’s the most important person on the safari expedition team? No one. Except maybe the person who wrestles snakes for anti-venom?

Who’s the most important person at the anti-bullying foundation? No one. Except maybe the parent who will not accept any excuse for bullying.

Who’s the most important person on the football team? No one. Except maybe the guy who ensures the drunk girl doesn’t get assaulted.

Who’s the most important person on any team? No one. Except maybe you when you know it and you act accordingly. 

Things that deserve the stink-what?

Shit don't stink. Literally.

Poo-pourri? It's a thing. Seriously.