Things one should never outgrow:

Thanks Mac & Shay.

a wiener roast, especially a Winter wiener roast.

It's weird when you get oldish and your kid invites you over for supper. But I like it.

The Test

I was eating a pomegranate and after about thirty minutes of fighting with that lemony-sweet bag of deliciousness, I realized that eating a tangy, cold apple would have saved me A LOT of time. Pomegranates eh?

As the saying goes, “patience it taking too long.” So maybe patience is overrated? Sure, it improves mental health, relationships, and achieving goals, but if it’s so good for us, why is it so difficult? We need a patience hack. My research revealed a foolproof training strategy for mastering patience: “make yourself wait.”

Really? That’s it? That’s all you and I have to do? Not likely. Well I guess since I’ve been wrong about 2.8 million times before, I decided to test it.

1. So I made macaroni. I had to wait for that water to boil. It wasn’t that bad actually. I used self-talk but then I had to wait for it to cook too. Ugh.
2. So then I also picked the longer line at the grocery store. Brave, eh? BRUTAL. In fact, it didn’t even work because the cashier waved me over to the next check-out.
3. So then this: my wife ordered a very cool gift for me but it did not arrive in time. No worries; I decided to embrace this crime against me and go full chill. I simply wiped it from my mind. After a week, my wife tracked it online and shared that it’s en route. I continued in full chill mode. Everything was moving along swimmingly and I was learning loads of patience until we saw said gift advertised on TV. My wife tracked it again and discovered it has been in the same location for weeks. WHAT? Haven’t I endured enough? I demanded we call customer service and RAGE AGAINST THIS INJUSTICE but then we got distracted by the Food Network and forgot.
4. So I worked out for thirty minutes but still no abs. Sheesh.
5. So I also tested the theory this way: I texted my son. Yup, he REALLY supports my patience mission I guess.

In conclusion, this strategy is bunk. So what now? Let’s all resume instant gratification mode because I think that’s really working out for everyone. Right? 

Marshmallow test?

I hesitate to call it an oven mitt. Sure, it's an 'ove' glove but I prefer HULK HAND. A gift from my wife, instead of hulk anger it incites in me this desire to test it on really, REALLY hot things. Casseroles? No problem. Lava? ABSOLUTELY. And that's why I foresee a sad end for this asbestos-packed kitchen wonder-mitt. In other words, I suspect that around the campfire this summer, the marshmallow test will have a whole new meaning, and no stick required! That's reasonable, right?

Things one should never outgrow:

Good stuff.

#ricecrispiessquaresdeconstructed
#condensedmilkismostlikelythedevil
#makesmefeellikeakidagain
#dontjudgemytrailerparkpalate
#ibasicallygrewuponTang®

I miss when...

#buthelookssohappy
Image from here.

I didn't know what trans fat was.

The Little Things

The green icing is in
honour of the
Saskatchewan Roughriders.

It's just a good day when an unexpected cupcake gift appears. Especially when said cupcake is hiding marshmallow fluff and whipped cream inside.

Yup. That's the kind of day I had. How was yours?

Things one should never outgrow:

marshmallows, especially toilet-paper-roll-sized marshmallows used to make s'mores.

#thanksmia

Things that deserve the stink eye:



Go to http://www.culturebrats.com/ for more of this sort of tomfoolery. 















Seriously?! Some pointed questions & one honest comment:

1. What's next to be caffeinated? Cotton candy? Water?
2. A collectible box? Who is going to display that box? Hoarders maybe?
3. And who would dare give these to kids? Certainly not anyone who knows anybasicthing about kids. 
4. These are like stereotype threat hors d'oeuvres for the people who live on the Axiom in Wall-E. (Stay Puft? No shit.) 
5. (And yeah, I secretly want six dozen.)

The Marshmallow Test

Ever wonder why you’re not more successful? Maybe it has something to do with the marshmallows.

Researchers have determined another measurement for success based on a self control test. Scientists placed four-year-olds in a room by themselves with a marshmallow and a surveillance camera. Children who did not eat the marshmallow were promised a second marshmallow reward after fifteen minutes. Two-thirds of the children ate it, some immediately, some after fourteen and a half minutes. Then the real experiment began.

Later, these children were studied as adults. Overwhelmingly, the children who did not eat the first marshmallow had higher intelligence scores and were significantly more successful in their adult lives in terms of career, finances and relationships. The conclusion? The ability to deny self-gratification makes for a successful individual and a successful future.

This makes me wonder several things:
1. Why am I craving marshmallows?
2. What, at age four, would I have done? (I suspect I may have sucked out the marshmallow’s core then convinced myself that the scientist wouldn’t be able to detect my obvious ruse despite the mangled marshmallow and tell-tale white powder around my mouth.)
3. Can someone’s entire future really be determined by one marshmallow?
4. Why do people volunteer their four-year-olds for science experiments?
5. Just how many scientists out there are doing experiments on their own children?
6. Will I be more successful in life from now on if I abstain from marshmallows?
7. What if they had used chocolate chips?
8. What if there had been a campfire?
9. How many things do I deny myself for at least fifteen minutes?
10. Why am I so weak?

I don’t mean to be flippant. Scientists are smart and I like them. I do indeed see the importance of limits and self-control. But here’s something else to consider: no disrespect to four-year-olds but even if they don’t eat the marshmallows, most of them do eat their boogers. I think success is a by-product of doing what you do with love, enhanced by choices and challenges and it can’t be measured one way. How do you measure it?