Some Give.

Door's wide open.

“Giving in is not the same as giving up.”

Think about that. Like me, it may help you sort something out.

I interpret these phrases several ways.

      1.Giving in is to compromise or surrender.

      2.Giving up is to abandon or to release.

I know, I know. Some might say we should never give up. But is giving up always negative?

Giving in is a way to continue momentum in another direction. Giving up is a way to discontinue momentum. And yet sometimes giving up might also lead to a new solution, a new outlook, a new path. Depending on the situation, I see value in both reactions.

For example, one lesson I learned early was to give up my need to be right. Marriage teaches this to us all doesn't it? However, as the youngest in my family I developed this essential skill fairly early, just to manage conflict during my youth. Yet beyond family, it taught me well in life that giving in, compromising, is a way to forge relationships and build bridges. And I am proud to say that I try to seek to learn something from everyone regardless of gender, education, age, religion, culture, past or present, whatever. This learning inspires me; the listening does too. So do great leaders. I feel this has helped me determine what I agree with and what I don’t. In this sense, giving in and giving up has given me so much more.

But there’s another lesson I still haven’t mastered yet: give up focusing on what’s wrong instead of what’s right. This lesson can make all the difference in moving forward and achieving happiness. Why? Give in or give up; either way, something will give. 

What motivates you?

     Being someone who loves to blather on, hoping I have a point of view about various things, sometimes it's the simplest question that can stump and silence me: "What motivates you?"

     My first thought: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. I don’t know.

     My second thought: This is hard. I’m pathetic.
     Third thought: I’m unmotivated.
     Fourth thought: Think! Shouldn’t I know what motivates me? Shouldn’t we all?
     Then I realized it was much easier to determine what did not motivate me such as material things, competition, power, getting credit or (unlike most of the human race I think), coffee. Eventually though, after some quick-fire pondering, I determined that I am motivated in a variety of ways by the following things, in no particular order:

1. Fear of embarrassment.
2. Comfort.
3. Chocolate chips.
4. Humour.
5. Beauty.
6. Something within me I cannot explain, something curious, something at the core, something compelling, something I should listen to more carefully.
7. A need to express myself, especially through writing.
8. Creativity and the Arts.
9. Friendship, companionship and love.
10. Change: new places, new faces, new embraces.
11. Gratitude.
12. People who are inspiring, people who snort when they laugh, people who can laugh at themselves, people with vision.
13. A desire to provide something better for others.
14. Unexpected and undeserved kindness.
15. Being cheap.
16. The bills at the end of the month.
17. Selfishness, stupidity and anger.
18. Knowledge and learning.
19. Possibilities.
20. Cake.

     I recommend a list of motivations. An honest list, both positive and negative. Why? Consider Zig Ziglar's advice regarding achieving success in life: “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.”