Things that deserve the stink-eye:

the latest bizarre still-life beside my teen son's bed. There's a jar of peanut butter on the floor (among other things). It's like CSI: Hoarders in there.

Things one should never outgrow:

To move, to breathe, to fly, to float,
To gain all while you give,
To roam the roads of lands remote,
To travel is to live.

~Hans Christian Andersen

Grapes, etc.

At least once, shouldn't everyone get their very own miracle? Like some really immense-amazing-astonishing epic-event-experience that alters-mend-transforms everything? A blockbuster moment?

That’d be cool. And to answer that question, yes. But no too. No.

Stop waiting for cloud 9. Because while you’re waiting, clouds 1-8 already drifted by.  And look, there went another one.

Albert Einstein said, ““There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” I completely agree. Sometimes every ugly once-in-a-while nothing much seems like a miracle to me. I admit it. But usually, I choose to choose the other way. I choose to see the wonder, the phenomenon, the divine, whatever you want to call it. I guess what I’m saying is marvel at the marvels or you’ll lose your marbles. Miracles are particularly easy to find if you decide to look for them. Some examples:

1. Grapes turn into wine. Miracle. (More like science but still.)

2. Grapes turn into raisins. Miracle. (Again, science, but still.)

3. Grapes. Miracle. (Boom.)

4. Most of the snow melts in January. Miracle. (Er, more like climate change but still.)

5. Your dental appointment is cancelled. Miracle. (Maybe a coincidence but still.)

6. Discover forgotten chocolate. Miracle. (Maybe just forgetful but still.)

7. Didn’t completely screw up your kids. Miracle of miracles!

8. People read this. Miracle. (Seriously.)

9. Air-conditioning. Miracle. (For those three weeks in June? Totally.)

10. Someone pretty and cool and pretty cool married you. Miracle. (Admit it.)

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

Every time I open the fridge this keeps staring at me with its bulbous-surgery-enhanced-nipple-mouth-engorged-baboon-bum-pulsating-growth-thingy.

Ok it's not pulsating. Yet.

I try not to make awkward eye-contact but it stares.

And that's why I highly recommend it because, appetite-killer.

#thanksteresa

Things that deserve the stink-tongue:

Read the fine print.

#whoa
#howdidthislegalygetacrosstheborder?
#onetasteandifeltlikeihadsmokedapackofcigarettes
#thanksgrant

Things one should never outgrow:

Regarding how to handle life's day-to-day struggles, I am often reminded, quite randomly, that sometimes kids have it basically figured out and I imagine they must just shake their baffled little heads at us anxiety-ridden adults.

Thanks kids.

"Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery 

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

I love art and all things art. I recognize that art does not always intend to be so-called beautiful or deep or whatever. Whether or not it is an extension of the artist's point of view is also debatable but regardless, art hates apathy: art intends to make us feel something. And this child's art, displayed at a local public venue, scares the shit out of me.

Good job kid.

Things one should never outgrow:

Who doesn't need one of these?

#evenifyourenotaheroyoucanstilldresslikeone

2013 Reads

A little late. But who cares? As Dr. Seuss said so eloquently, “How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?"

I can't imagine life with Dr. Seuss, or any of these writers, their books my favourite reads last year (in no particular order). 

Smart. Funny.
Even sorta math-y. 

TELL YOUR STORY
(even when it's heartbreaking).

Made me want to make
a mix tape. And find my
old friends. And it made
me feel again too
(because I stopped
feeling for a while.)

Thanks to Susan Cain
and stories like these,
I'm not so weird
anymore. 

Maybe cancer does
indeed reveal you
more than it changes you?
Whatever the answer, I
still fucking hate it.

No. More.

There’s something you all should know. And by all I mostly mean some of you. Something another guy revealed to me. Something serious. Something important. Something both women and men should know. I like to call it: the truth.

It has to stop. Sure, sure, everyone’s laughed about it at one time or another but enough is enough. It. Must. Stop. The joking and discrimination is unfair and unkind and unacceptable. Everyone knows it yet the intolerance continues. The time for empathy, for understanding, for respect is NOW. This is another one of those turning points in history, a watershed moment, a milestone marker along this journey in life.

According to an article published in the National Post, scientists have proven that “men actually suffer more when they are struck down with illness because high levels of testosterone can weaken their immune response.”

Minus the science-y words this is essentially what men have been saying for years! Take that ladies.

I am not making this up. This is for realz. I bet PeterMansbridge leads with this story every morning when he looks in the mirror to shave and practice looking cool for the CBC National News. Why aren’t more people talking about this?!

Plus, scientists have also determined that men with higher levels of testosterone feel MORE PAIN when they ARE sick.

Boom.

I know eh?

So guess what? That commercial about that guy whose wife refers to him as a 200 pound baby is pure sexism sanctioned and encouraged by millions of women all over the world. Truth be told, I’ve even laughed at those “I survived man-flu like a big boy” mugs. But no more.

No more. 

?

What better thing to do with your suddenly discovered long, l-o-n-g dead missing frog than to mount his head like some sort of odd hunting trophy?

#youknowyoureredneckwhen
#sherri&teresa&mac
#myfamilyisweird
#dingdongs

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

we found our son's missing frog under a chest. Did I mention it's been missing for two years?

#scotchguardworks

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

when your teen borrows your car.

Know.

“Clarity is the antidote to anxiety.” This quote really resonates with me. Do you have clarity in your life and how might this reduce anxiety and fear?

It’s the future again. Sure. I know. It’s just a number. Yet every new year feels a little insecure: both fresh yet uncertain. We wonder, what will this year bring? What joys? What sorrows? What else could Rob Ford possibly and inexplicably do? More important that all that nonsense and noise in the world, what are you hoping for? And what fears are holding you back?

I’m not talking about turkeys. No matter how times I give myself a pep-talk, I’ll probably always be afraid of turkeys. I’m referring to the other fears: the fears we ALL have, the real struggles in life. According to several anthropologists and scientists, these may have several names but they can be categorized into five basic human fears:

1.      Death/Pain (our own and others)

2.      Outsiders

3.      Insignificance/Loneliness/Rejection

4.      Chaos/Failure/Turmoil

5.      the Unknown

Think about those for a moment. What’s the common denominator? I think they all speak to the unknown. So how can we cope, or better yet, THRIVE despite the unknown? Maybe the answer is in the word itself. Unknown may be a few letters too long.

Know.

Hans Hoffman said, “The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so the necessary can speak.” What’s truly necessary in your life? And what “noise” is interfering such that you don’t even know?

Know. Choose to know. Know what you believe. Know what you value. Know why. Know what you want. Know what you need. Name these things. Make a list. Keep it short. And then do something with this information. Live it. And use it for leverage when life gets scary. Live with purpose, on purpose.