Friday, March 2, 2012

I want an accordion.

Image from here.
I know we’re well into it now but I’ve only really just discovered something about the 21st century.

It sounds different. Significantly different.

And I’m not talking about the accordion from the 70s that never ever shows up at parties anymore. (Wouldn’t it be cool if it did?! Just imagine someone pulling out an accordion and lettin’ her rip. I’m 96% sure everyone would freak out in a good way. And then it would be on Youtube and there would be like nine million hits and then BAM somebody’s on a talk show. Whoa. No one steal this idea. Seriously. If only I had an accordion.... Okay I’m back from kijiji. Accordions are expensive. And I’m cheap. Let’s just say that if someone had an old accordion hoarded in their basement and if that someone were to anonymously leave said musty accordion outside my back door I would not turn up my nose at your shenanigans and if you also left me a bag of chocolate chips I would lovingly dedicate my first talk show accordion performance to you and only you.)

Anyway, back to my scheduled topic: what does the 21st century sound like?

Mmmmmmmup. Mmmmmmmmp. Mmmmmmmp.

Come on reader. You know what this is. The first time it woke me up in my bedroom one early morn I visualized a tiny kidnap victim, his mouth duct-taped shut, hidden somewhere deep in my clothes basket. But it doesn’t always sound that way. Sometimes I hear an 80s tune. Sometimes there are quacks.

There are now four cell phones buzzing and beeping and distracting me in my home every day. And even when they are supposedly asleep, I sometimes hear their Mmmmmmp and I recall the frogs croaking outside my childhood window and I wonder are these phones sending messages to each other. Yeah I know: duh. What I meant is that perhaps these phones are communicating with each other in ways unbeknownst to us. Suspicious ways. Sometimes I come into the room and I swear I just heard one of them Mmmmmmp but guess what? Silence.

Think. About. That.

I guess I just long for the past. An uncomplicated less paranoid past. A past when people played accordions. A past like this: “The bathtub was invented in 1850 and the telephone in 1875. In other words, if you had been living in 1850, you could have sat in the bathtub for 25 years without having to answer the phone.” -Bill DeWitt 

That silence sounds great to me.


Nicole said...

Clearly we need to be on a mission to get you an accordion.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Roll out the barrel!

Antares Cryptos said...

Pretty certain that your neighbors do not.

Pickleope said...

Debra made me laugh because as soon as you mentioned accordion, I got the same song stuck in my head.
Also, next time you're gonna drop some mind messer-uper like cell phones talking to each other, warn me so I can get stoned first.

Al Penwasser said...

Well, who doesn't?

wendy said...

hmmm, interesting stuff to think of here.
I'd like to sit in a tub without ANY outside interferences

OH WAIT...I do (tee,hee)
I don't have a cell phone
I don't Text
we are kind of old school

and hey, on thing to think about. IF YOU PLAYED AN'd have to do it in a kilt...and then we'd always wonder...
well, do you have ANYTHING ON under that kilt.
just saying

actually has nothing to do with anything
but that's how my mind rolls

Alittlesprite said...

I once knew a whole family of Accordionists. Seriously.

Shockgrubz said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this post. I'm not sure if it was the musical instrument, the auction site, or the description of certain sounds that give it a good ring. A good ring to the mmmmmmmp.

Now I'll hear that sound all day, haha.

G said...

Accordion's are cool...there's a restaurant near me where the owner plays the accordion at the end of a night.

Vinny C said...

Of course, you could always download accordion music and set it as your ringtone/alarm tone.

Best of both worlds!

Vinny C said...

Also, I'm now in the mood for a bag of chocolate chips.

Michael said...

We see our true self when it's quiet.

karensomethingorother said...

that would be fun. You're right. Now that we're not teenagers any longer and leery of anything that we think is remotely UNCOOL, the accordion would make you KING OF THE PARTY.

PokerLawyer said...

This is such a good post. I'm in the middle of a FaceBook & Twitter fast and it's got me thinking how I use my time, my hands, my brain.

Right now, my thoughts are that it's good to take the occasional break from these things, but they are now, really, the way of the world. And a failure to at least embrace and/or harness their capabilities is probably a mistake.

It's funny what we get used to. I suppose if I lived in a land where there were no internet connection, no cell phones, no "smart" technology, I'd gladly be able to fill up my time with some very worthwhile, meaningful endeavors. But, I'd (as I do now) miss out on some very cool and thought provoking connections.

I guess it's just trying to find the balance, and muffle the mmmmmmmmp!

BugginWord said...

If you learn the accordion we're taking this show on the road.

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