Things that are most likely the devil:

Once upon a time I enjoyed TV. Seriously enjoyed it. Looking back on my childhood years I could create a lengthy timeline detailing most of The Bionic Man's life but as for the Prime Minister then, I only vaguely recall that he gave someone the finger on, you guessed it, TV. Even crappy TV mesmerized me. To this day a German shepherd makes me think Littlest Hobo (classic Canadian propaganda). There are more music videos stored in my brain than life strategies.

Are you thinking, why is he admitting how stupid he is?

Uh, I'm wondering that too. Anyway, things have changed a lot since then. Sort of.

It all started over a decade ago the time my little family and I went without TV for about a year. Despite being raised on television, I managed not to die. But something else died that year. I lost my stamina. Plus my kids ruined it. Eventually, I enjoyed my battle with them for the remote control more than actually having the control. Soon I was watching their shows. So with the exception of one or two series, I lost my will for it. Essentially this: meh.

Successively, over the years, this trend continued. I gave up on sitcoms altogether. Don't freak out peeps but I can't quote much Seinfeld. Reality TV intrigued me and still does sometimes but most of my likes have been forgotten like the leather ties I once owned.

And then it happened. We got PVR. (Some call it DVR or TiVo.) At first I couldn't manage to program anything so no big whoop. But then...WOW...fast-forward through the commercials...never miss an episode...watch TV when I want to...pause live TV? Booyah! PVR made me love TV again.

And then I discovered PVR's dark dark underbelly.

There are two types of people: 1. Those who make lists; 2. Those who don't. The way I see it, people with lists often get stressed. Obsessive even. I base this on reliable research aka I once made lists but that ended a long time ago. Why? I went nuts. Well guess what? PVR makes lists for me. For a while I had 7 episodes of Top Chef. What's a guy to do? I can't handle that sort of stress. I CAN'T. So I watched them. All. Of. Them. Until my eyes fell out.

My teachers warned me that TV would turn my mind to mush. I'd like to refute that but I don't have time: I have to go watch 19 episodes of The Big Bang Theory.