Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Things one should never outgrow:

"Nature is new every morning." -unknown
the possibility that comes with each new day, every little fascinating surprise.


Sunday, August 23, 2015

Just so you know, the answer is no.

Thanks Mac (& his boss). 
Is there a person on Earth who doesn't secretly want a bobcat?

I like to call them bobcans because let's be honest, there's nothing a bobcan't do. Sorry.

Things I need a bobcat for (in order):
- photo shoots
- dog poop in parks
- floats
- cruising
- things I can't reach
- so I can wear my work boots
- photobombing
- tossing really big rocks
- landscaping
- bobcat-ing stuff

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

(not acceptable)
apathy.

It matters not where it drops whether 5, 10, 638 seconds, whatever; pick up your ice cream and carry on as before!

Aka life.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Things one should never outgrow:

Grandma & Teresa. 
our elders.

I admire and respect those who care for people who can no longer care for themselves. It confuses me when others neglect their grandparents and other elders. We are all busy. Yet everything we have is, in some way or another, a gift from before.


Monday, August 10, 2015

Things the deserve the stink-eye:

Thanks neighbours from Nova Scotia!
(And shout out to the Atlantic Ocean too.)
Sure. They're tasty. But ugly. Like nightmare inducing ugly. Ditto lobster. Ditto octopus. Ditto head cheese. Whoa. My brain just combined all these into crab-lobster-octopus head cheese. Sorry.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Letter of Appreciation, Kinda

Dear Parents caring for other people’s adult children:

As you know, many parents have young adults who return home for summer. And yet, we rarely see them. Instead (whether you like it or not) you do.

Firstly, thank you. For feeding them. For cleaning up after them. For loaning them a couch. Speaking of surrogate-type parenting, thanks also to their employers. University/College is expensive and we are grateful they have these jobs. Plus we suspect that you employers are also good guides and mentors. However, unlike you, we cannot pay them to hang out with us (or at least we’d prefer not to).  Thus we are stuck with those rare sightings when they randomly return to shower, or drop off their laundry, recharge something, and then there was that one time when we made bacon and they suddenly appeared.

Sigh. Related to this, my wife and I request a small favour and we thank you in advance. Since you are more likely to encounter our kids, please share any or all of the following questions/reminders whenever you deem it appropriate:
1.  Hey you. I heard you have parents.
2.  And I know for a fact they have Wi-Fi.  
3.  Your parents want to know: what are your thoughts on
a.       Current events?
b.      That latest movies?
c.       Pluto’s adorable heart?
d.      Cheese? (All of the above, pretty much anything, they’re open.)
4.  If they cooked more bacon, would you go home?
5.  Would blackmail work? Because let’s be honest, they know A LOT about your past.
6.  Is another tattoo/piercing really necessary? (Throwing this in there, just in case.)
7.   I’m pretty sure tomorrow is Fathers/Mothers/Parents/Hug-Someone-Who-Shares-Your-DNA/Family Guilt Day.
8.  If a parent texts you in the forest, does it make a sound argument not to text back?
9.  Here’s a picture of your Mother weeping. 
10.  Get out. 

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

All of the above.
















I'm pretty sure the dust bunny my wife and I found under the dresser in our bedroom

a. was mere weeks away from sprouting legs.
b. has something to do with Donald Trump.
c. is the same shape as Pluto's heart! Aww. (aka pareidolia).
d. needs a coffee, STAT.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Superstitions?

According to all reliable sources, here’s the proof:
     1.    Superstitions come in threes.
     2.    Especially when you walk under a ladder.
     3.    Even worse on Friday the 13th.
     4.    But, knock on wood, there is a solution:
     5.    Eat an apple; it keeps the doctor away.
     6.    However, it’s unclear which type of doctor: my hope is that it refers to plastic surgeons.
     7.    Speaking of distorted faces, go ahead and drop a mirror. Why? Who needs luck for the better part of a decade? Kidding…the number seven is lucky so mirror-tossing actually has a reverse effect. Boom.
8.    All four-leaf clovers are stored at the end of the rainbow.
9.    When black cats cross your path don’t look away in fear or you will miss the chickens on their backs: that’s how they cross the road. Fingers crossed. (Side-note: sometimes they step on cracks. Sorry Moms.)
10. Itchy palms mean forthcoming mail related to money, sometimes debits, sometimes credits, or maybe the phone is going to ring or maybe your ears will ring because someone mentioned you on social media. (This one’s still confusing to me because I don’t have Facebook.)
11. Find a penny, pick it up, all day long, you’ll have a penny. Uh oh…this only works outside of Canada.
12. Every sixth Friday at dawn, animals can talk. (A cat told me this.)
13. Problems are easy to solve if you’re an idiot, am I right?

You might be thinking: what is all this horseshoe? Sorry for all the silliness. What motivates superstitions? Why do we humans think and do all these irrational things? Psychologists relate this behavior to the “uncertainty hypothesis.” This is the idea that when people are unsure about the outcome of a situation, they try to find a way to control it. These control-methods may be odd. Nevertheless, they sometimes provide the mental boost needed to trick ourselves into perseverance mode so we can push through fear of the unknown. Or here’s another way to deal: just think rationally. Um, not so easy for us humans, is it? So friends...keep stepping on spiders and throwing salt if you need to. Either way, something will happen. 

Monday, July 20, 2015

Things one should never outgrow:

noticing when nature seems to pose.

"Leave nothing but footprints. Take nothing but pictures. Kill nothing but time."
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