Things that deserve the stink-eye:

My Brain: what does jet-puffed even mean?

My heart: who cares? It sounds like 

a jet stream of sugar and I WANT IT.

My brain: *resignedly shakes itself*

promoting marshmallow creme as "fat free" is like saying red herrings are not actually fish. It may be true but that's not the point.

(And yet, I want this in my belly.)

Like a sneeze.

In six months both my kids will be gone.

By "gone" I mean moved out and on their own living far away continuing their education beginning a new phase in that self-sufficient independence we've been training them for since they were born.

How did this happen?


This is one of my favourite photos of our kids. On a sunny July morning, getting close to almost a decade ago now, we crossed the Confederation Bridge from Prince Edward Island to New Brunswick nearing the end of a Maritime family vacation with terrific friends and we all remember it so, so fondly.

This day especially. My daughter appeared that morning wearing that pink dress I don't recall ever seeing before and it startled me for a moment because she didn't look like such a little girl anymore and yet she moved along our walk on that red-sand beach that morning like any child would, discovering this, discovering that, laughing, playful and carefree. A little later that morning my son barfed in the parking lot of a Tim Hortons and then once more into a Tim Hortons bag while we were crossing the bridge in this photo; perhaps you should know that there is no possible way a person can pull over on the Confederation bridge. A total trooper, he didn't complain, just barfed like barfing was the equivalent of sneezing. I do think he felt a lot better although he barfed again in a Canadian Tire parking lot about an hour after this photo was taken. (Could this anecdote possibly be more Canadian?) He was ok, we figured it was just too much sun the day before because later we ate ice cream and watched the tide come in at the Bay of Fundy.

It was the perfect day.

I love change. As much as it cranks the heat up on my anxiety it also energizes me. I believe it is essential to growth, to creativity, to happiness. I know my kids must go. There have been times where I couldn't wait for them to go. I admit sometimes I have counted the days. But today, I am counting again and there just aren't enough left and for some reason lately I have these moments where it's like someone is wringing my heart like a wet cloth.

Like all memories though there's a message inside. I need to think of this like a sneeze. This ache will pass like too much sun. There are many more days to come. I will try to live for the present and with hope for the future like I always have like I hope I taught them to do too.

Unremarkably Remarkable

I found Latvia.

My Dad loved to talk and tell stories. He also repeated stories and thus I recall the story of the strongest man he ever met. Apparently this man could lie horizontally between two chairs while more and more men sat on his rigid stomach. According to Dad, this man barely strained. He also could apparently tolerate repeated punches to his mid-section without flinching. And until one single night my Dad and his friends somehow convinced him to participate in a spontaneous little strongman competition, he had no idea this man, someone he had known for years, could do any of these amazing feats. Full disclosure: my Dad tended to exaggerate and I’m fairly certain whiskey factored into all this and thus the truth may be somewhat skewed. Nevertheless, I do remember three details my Dad emphasized every time he told this story:

1.      He was small.

2.      He was quiet.

3.      He wasn’t a show-off.

With my Dad, I met this unremarkably remarkable man several times over the years and although I never witnessed any strength-tests first hand, he certainly confirmed all three. Whether his intent or not, I learned much from my Dad’s story: real strength is often quite humble and hidden.

My favourite Winter Olympics moment this year happened when I wasn’t even watching, during a game likely only true fans saw in its entirety. But for me the sport wasn’t important to the outcome. In fact, the outcome was a loss. No medal. And for a country I couldn’t even pick out on a map: Latvia. But unremarkably remarkable hockey goalie Kristers Gudlevskis, who apparently makes $55,000 yearly, managed to block over 50 goals despite facing well-known, talented, million dollar professional hockey players admired by millions of fans.

Wow.

I wonder how many people had actually even heard of Gudlevskis? But that’s not the point. If we’d just pay attention, the answer is lots.

Humble, strong men and women out there? Despite those distracting show-offs getting too much attention, people DO notice you too. Thank you. Thanks for all your quiet strength needed in so many unremarkably remarkable ways people rarely see because instead of being Olympians your strength wows in ambulances, classrooms, or as peacekeepers or scientists building robots that perform brain surgery and especially you volunteers. No gold/silver/bronze for you but that shouldn’t devalue your inspirational, every-day, behind-the-scenes heroics.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

you say tom-AYT-o, I say tom-AHT-oh-no that is just not right.

Gestating tomatoes should come with a warning. Just sayin.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

My wife makes terrific muffins and cookies and cakes and they're healthier than regular baking because she replaces a good portion of the oil and sugar with overripe bananas which she freezes then thaws. Tasty treats for sure.

But then I saw her make them.

Holy monkeyshit muffins Batman! Whoa.

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

unethical jobs is now a legitimate career option?

#iblamebailouts

Wordfuse (Sick Edition)

Me: cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, clears throat, pause, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, pause, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, pause, wait, wait, wait, thinking There should be a name for it when you can't stop coughing and it keeps you up all night.

Up all night talking to myself me: Coughinsomnia?

Me: Yup. That's it. Perfect.

Up all night talking to myself me: cough, cough, cough....

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

our unsent Christmas letters? It's not too late. Right?

Things that deserve the googly-eye:

Just one example of why I get a kick
out of so many of the people I work with. 

mayhemployees.

About 100% of the time I choose to 100% love 100% of the people I work with, and most days I get the feeling they do the same. Thank you!

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

my son's parking skills. Uh, he's either very efficient at parking or very lucky. Either way, I am going to choke him.