Thursday, April 7, 2011

Two New Shoes

Nomo mojo?
And no, these are not the shoes.
Yeah. So I bought new shoes. This is rare. 'Cause I'm cheap like that.

I have heard it said, and agree, that one should be careful what one puts between himself and the earth. That's why I have a really quality bed. And a floor. But as for shoes? Well. I've tried expensive shoes. They don't seem to last any longer than cheap ones. Shoes are sort of like movies if you think about it: some cost a lot of money to make but after a couple of hours it's quite clear they weren't worth the money. Case in point: anyone remember Mike Myers' The Love Guru? What a sad, sad day that was for me....

Dear Mike Myers,
Please find your mojo again. Bring back Austin Powers! And Dr. Evil! And Scotty Evil! And Beyonce. And especially bring back Fat Bastard.
a Scottish-Canadian-fan-who's-kinda-fat-but-not-usually-a-bastard

Oh behave. Ahem. Sorry. Where was I?

Anyway. So I bought cheap shoes again: $25. Yeah baby. Yeah! (That's the last one. I promise.) But being the idiot-genius I am there's just one little(r) problem: I bought two different sizes.

Did I mention it took me three days of wearing my new cheap shoes to determine this fact?

As they say, "you never really know why someone walks funny until you walk a mile in his shoes, his two differently-sized shoes." Frick.


SherilinR said...

poor dbs and your "special" shoes!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

You'll never live this one down!

Vinny C said...

This is where I remind you that any faithful & loving family will be sure to not let you forget this...

For a very very long time.

It's as much a right as it is a privilege. They will regale your friends & other family with this tale for weeks to come. Be prepared.

Antares Cryptos said...

No you didnt?!

I tried watching Love Guru, thought the idea and trademarks were clever, the movie was so brutal, I had to stop before I couldn't get those hours (or shoes) back.

Alittlesprite said...

Surely the salesperson should have checked that?
I hope you can return them...

No I'm not laughing right now....

Nicole said...

I'm impressed. It takes a real man to admit defeet. Whoops. Defeat.

Al Penwasser said...

Don't feel too badly. I did the same thing with a pair of sneakers. Except it took me almost a year to notice (I looked at the label on each shoe. One said 8. The other said 8 1/2).
No wonder I had uneven callous wear.

Lynn said...

Came across your blog via a comment you left on "life of riles" and this post made me laugh! Thanks for sharing!!!

Sarah Walton - The Hedonista said...

I thought all $25 shoes came in different sizes....

Chelle said...

So... are THOSE the shoes you bought?

Laoch of Chicago said...


Alistair said...


nympathy - no + sympathy

used to express lack of compassion for those suffering from sinflipidity
self + inflicted + stupidity

Har har har!!!

karensomethingorother said...

it doesn't make that much difference between expensive and cheap shoes? That's a relief, because I disgust myself with my cheapness.

I prefer to have my bare feet on the earth. What does that say about me?

dbs said...

@dbs I sense sarcasm.
@DSWS (I haven't told anyone. I'm too embarrassed.)
@VinnyC See above.
@AC Yes. Brutal is the best adjective.
@alittlesprite I think you are laughing...but I don't blame you.
@Nicole "defeet" Nice one.
@Al Thank you for admitting this publicly.
@Lynn I'm very happy. Thanks for visiting.
@Sarah Good point.
@Chelle Oh no, no, no. That's what came up when I googled "Austin Powers shoes."
@LoC It only hurts when I walk.
@Al Those are excellent! lol
@karen Kindred spirit.

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