|This is me in a state of confusion aka 24/7.|
Sometimes I am overwhelmed with complete self-loathing.
Sometimes I wonder if all that Tang and Kool-Aid I drank as a kid altered my body chemistry.
Sometimes I don't go outside for the entire day and it makes me feel guilty.
Sometimes I wish I had become a hydrogeologist which seems so strange to me considering it's so on the other side of the spectrum compared to everything else I really want to be when I grow up: author, artist, photographer, cinematographer, editor, reading specialist, screenwriter, Lorne Michael's assistant, television producer, musician, carpenter, set designer, Scottish strongman, museum curator, speechwriter, google employee, book cover designer, ted.com employee, etc.
Sometimes I get freaked out by call display like just yesterday this phone number came up: 123-456-7890. Seriously. And it made me wonder if I was in some sort of low-budget version of The Ring and my "number is up."
Sometimes I get nervous just thinking about crowds yet I really want to be part of a flash-mob.
Sometimes I hate Roger Ebert for tweeting too much but then he'll write something that blows my mind.
Sometimes I feel old but not old enough to drink coffee.
Sometimes I am more invested in the characters I read about in books than I am with the real people in my life.
Sometimes I wonder if I had given my kids different names if they would be different people, not better people, just different.
Sometimes I stop and pick up rocks and put them in my pockets because they're beautiful.
Sometimes I want to redo everything I just did and yet if I truly were a hopeless perfectionist wouldn't I care more about my pants or keeping my vehicle clean or not chewing my nails.
Sometimes, all I want to do is write all day long.
Sometimes I wish that a psychologist would read my blog and tell me exactly what is wrong with me.