Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Dealing with Bulldozers

Warning: this is not always a toy.
If you're a parent you know that the love you have for your children is constant. That love is like a flag waving but sometimes, you're maybe not feeling so patriotic.

Why? Because despite our best efforts, raising kids can be so very difficult. So frustrating. I've never encountered anything more challenging. Ever. 

Ninja Mom, who knows a thing or 17 about the trials of raising kids, tweeted yesterday about a new book whose brilliant title alone does a fine job of hoovering the romanticism right out of parenting. Real parenting is messy. And it hurts. It's even scary at times. That's why you have to enjoy the laughs when you can.

My kids are both teens now but I could have used that book back in the day because despite being oftentimes dazzled by their cuter-than-cuteness, I learned fairly early on that parenting was not for wimps....

One morning I quietly slipped away from playing "trucks" with my toddler son to have a shower. Midway through my shower suddenly the curtain flung open and there stood my young son, his brows furrowed. (It was exactly like that iconic scene in Psycho except in colour minus Janet Leigh and with a lot more body hair, plus no one got stabbed although my startled heart was indeed flapping around in my chest like a fish in the bottom of the canoe.) Confused, I couldn't even respond. I stared at him and he stared at me and then finally he hefted his Tonka Toy bulldozer up and over the edge of the tub so he could unceremoniously drop it on my feet: KATHUNK. He then promptly left the room.

I learned then that this is how two-year-olds give the finger.

20 comments:

Oilfield Trash said...

This made me snort. Thank you for the laugh.

Kev D. said...

I can't wait to be scared of my children one day.

Kev D. said...

For the record, I don't have any yet.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

That's a story you can tell at his wedding some day.

Elly Lou said...

Note to self: no tonka trucks. Check.

Nicole said...

Ha! That's some good 2yo flippin' off. And the Psycho setting, with changes, very funny.

As I frequently say to the Hubster, and he whole-heartedly agrees, "Kids are a$$holes!"

Truly, I melt for my kids. The smiles, the sillies, the great one-liners, the hugs. But when someone screams for me as if all of her fingers have been severed in a horrible, if improbable, Lego accident, only to find that her brother won't share the kickball, well, a$$holes.

Charlie Pulsipher said...

Great story that totally made me laugh. I wish I had one like this. The drawings would have been epic.

Funny Stuff I Write And Draw

Nicki said...

HAHAHA!

...but seriously, I'm terrified to become a parent.

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

This is why I'm so glad I have a niece. I play, I melt, I giggle and as soon as she poops, I hand her off. It's not a bad deal, I tell you. Not a bad deal at all.

Lor

Windsmoke. said...

Kids do the funniest and strangest things when you least expect it :-).

Antares Cryptos said...

LOL. Great post, very funny.

That book will be much loved by parents.

Missy said...

LOL! Don't you wish you had known all this stuff before you had children?

dbs said...

@OT You're welcome.
@KevD Believe me. You will be.
@DSWS I hope so.
@EllyLou Underline it too.
@Nicole And that's reason #17 why I like you.
@Charlie Yes. I would have enjoyed that too.
@Nicki It is terrifying. I don't want to say don't do it, just make sure you've experienced as much down time as possible before you do.
@Lor Yes I like my nieces and nephews more.
@Windsmoke Yup they do.
@AC Thanks. And yes it's sure to be a best seller.
@Missy Oh yes I did. People tried to tell me....

Laoch of Chicago said...

epic

Beta Dad said...

Funny story, but a good, serious point. When we can laugh about parenting (through books, blogs, etc.) it makes the scary shit more tolerable.

Yours Truly,

The voice of 22 months of experience.

The Defiant Marshmallow said...

That sounds totally right for a two year old boy. What moments we get to have as parents!
Excellent!

Cheeseboy said...

HA HA! That is so flippen funny! Perhaps the truck needed a car wash.

Sandra said...

You're lucky he was only two and aiming for your feet. In the shower, there are far more vulnerable places that tonka truck could have landed.

Molly said...

hilarious! and in those moments, no matter how horrified you may be, you're also kinda proud - how cool is my kid?

Alittlesprite said...

HA! Funny.
I raised mine alone for eight years. You think parents are tough? Single mums have steel balls!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...