Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Just so you know the answer is no.
Is it ever worth it or at all necessary to line-up to buy the newest version of anything?
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
1:58 PM
3
Comments
Labels:
?,
common sense,
evolving,
how to,
idiot-geniuses,
irks,
just so,
mistakes,
money,
motivation,
no,
patience,
plastic crap,
sheesh,
things that are most likely the devil,
think,
yeahno
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Things that are most likely the devil:
Dear Trail Mix,
How I love you. Plus I want to punch you in the face.
Sure sure. You are a convenient, healthy snack to take while hiking blah blah blah BUT there's this too:
1. I don't hike. And I'm 99% sure that 93% of the people who buy or make trail mix do not hike.
2. Bears like trail mix too. See #1.
3. Whoa. I just had a moment: when bears eat trail mix am I the not-so-secret added ingredient?
4. You are not healthy. In all your deliciousness and apparent abundance of good cholesterol or whatever Dr. Oz is bullshitting about this week, why oh WHY are you like 6,349 calories per handful? WHY? (4.1 The real reason you are unhealthy: I can eat 17 handfuls before I even realize it.)
5. I always eat the M&Ms / Smarties first. You KNOW this yet those pesky geriatric raisins you insist on including get in the way and I accidentally ingest one or two so why oh WHY aren't you easier to eat?
6. Raisins are crap.
7. You need more chocolate. (I have heard some describe you as "M&M's with obstacles.")
8. You're so hipster. What's next: quinoa?
9. I just googled you and "surprise," quinoa trail mix balls are a thing now. My reaction: NO. And by no I mean I would probably try them.
10. Trail mix balls? Ha. Seriously? Let's leave Bear Grylls out of this. Anyway, new versions of trail mix are unnecessary: just omit raisins.
Oh Trail mix, I just realized something else. Maybe I'm projecting my dislike of raisins onto you?
Wow. Thanks for the eating disorder too trail mix.
How I love you. Plus I want to punch you in the face.
Sure sure. You are a convenient, healthy snack to take while hiking blah blah blah BUT there's this too:
1. I don't hike. And I'm 99% sure that 93% of the people who buy or make trail mix do not hike.
2. Bears like trail mix too. See #1.
3. Whoa. I just had a moment: when bears eat trail mix am I the not-so-secret added ingredient?
4. You are not healthy. In all your deliciousness and apparent abundance of good cholesterol or whatever Dr. Oz is bullshitting about this week, why oh WHY are you like 6,349 calories per handful? WHY? (4.1 The real reason you are unhealthy: I can eat 17 handfuls before I even realize it.)
5. I always eat the M&Ms / Smarties first. You KNOW this yet those pesky geriatric raisins you insist on including get in the way and I accidentally ingest one or two so why oh WHY aren't you easier to eat?
6. Raisins are crap.
7. You need more chocolate. (I have heard some describe you as "M&M's with obstacles.")
8. You're so hipster. What's next: quinoa?
9. I just googled you and "surprise," quinoa trail mix balls are a thing now. My reaction: NO. And by no I mean I would probably try them.
10. Trail mix balls? Ha. Seriously? Let's leave Bear Grylls out of this. Anyway, new versions of trail mix are unnecessary: just omit raisins.
Oh Trail mix, I just realized something else. Maybe I'm projecting my dislike of raisins onto you?
Wow. Thanks for the eating disorder too trail mix.
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
4:02 PM
5
Comments
Labels:
?,
arts,
bears,
blather on,
excuses,
idiot-geniuses,
man-boobs,
no,
pea-brain,
problems,
snacks,
things that are most likely the devil,
whoa,
yeahno
Monday, July 28, 2014
Surprise
source |
“Nothing surprises me anymore.” We've all heard this
statement. Maybe we've even used it to summarize something difficult to fathom.
Just watch the news. Never-ending conflicts. Never-ending greed. Never-ending mixed-up
priorities. A whole lot of stupidity. That sort of thing can turn a person into
a cynic, a cynic who says things like “nothing surprises me anymore.” But be
honest: is that really the truth?
A few days ago, my bee-keeper (don't you have one?) told me that one
honeybee makes less than a teaspoon of honey in its entire lifetime. Mind =
blown. Honestly, I’m still quite surprised by so many things:
1. That
someone is reading this.
2. Pancakes;
I’m always delightfully surprised when someone makes pancakes.
3. Syrup:
it’s basically tree barf, isn't it?
4. How
much food I can shove down my throat in one go.
5. Inner
strength. (It’s like we all have a surprisingly deep well somewhere when
needed.)
6. Acceptance.
7. Forgiveness.
8. Pure
compassion.
9. What
people wear (or don’t wear) at the beach.
10. The weather.
11. How
moving a beautiful voice can be.
12. New
words. Latest favourite: carpe noctem. (It’s Latin for “seize the night.”)
13. Technology.
I very nearly walked into the back of a truck while texting the other day.
14. The
things we all obsess about, like shoes or cars or bacon or emojis or whatever.
15. How
complicated coffee is now.
16. How
much I've accomplished in my life.
17. How
much I haven’t.
18. Spiders.
19. Hugs.
(Definitely not spider hugs although that’s a surprise I can live without.)
20. How just
a few happy words can sometimes change the way everything feels.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Things one should never outgrow:
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
4:04 PM
4
Comments
Labels:
?,
attitude,
Canada,
fathering,
happiness,
how to,
idiot-geniuses,
motivation,
patience,
pea-brain,
perception,
some people,
things one should never outgrow,
things that deserve the stink eye,
think,
this is my hood
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Glue?
They say it's the glue that holds a family together. It's quite a familiar phrase to me, but what is the glue? What actually cements us together in families?
Surely love. Absolutely. But what sorts of love? What actions? Conversations? Promises? What moments activate the glue?
I appreciate the glue metaphor but I think it's more like maps. Maps connect us. And like pushpin markers on a map, events, experiences, choices, celebrations, traditions, even tragedies identify the routes, the commutes, the detours. Those pushpins mark the construction zones, the places we stopped for snacks, the roadside attractions, the plus ones (2s, 3s, 4s?) who became family, even where the blanket was left behind.
Throughout a lifetime, there are many roads that families travel together. Everyone experiences the journey differently but we were all there. Once. Twice maybe? And perhaps one hundred times in our dreams. And maybe just once more sometime yet to come? We'll see. The togetherness doesn't last though. I'd like to say no one gets left behind but it happens. Sometimes, whether by choice or circumstance, we travel on alone yet we are still connected through our maps even when we cannot or choose not to return. Families might be together for decades but hardly long enough when some elsewhere journeys begin or end, heart-wrenching either way.
Maps are meant to revisit, to reaffirm, and to make the journey easier. We can unfold our memories across the kitchen table and talk and laugh and cry a bit too. Maps can remain hidden in our pockets too, folded and protected, places we no longer choose to visit: treacherous roads or car crashes or dead ends. And maps can be neglected too, even forgotten because life interferes: distractions, work, beauty, change, everything.
But in every family shouldn't there be at least one person waiting for your return? Someone so easy to find because the map is so clear, so familiar, so compelling that when you get close enough you have no choice but to run? I know these maps and I know this waiting.
Who waits for you?
Surely love. Absolutely. But what sorts of love? What actions? Conversations? Promises? What moments activate the glue?
I appreciate the glue metaphor but I think it's more like maps. Maps connect us. And like pushpin markers on a map, events, experiences, choices, celebrations, traditions, even tragedies identify the routes, the commutes, the detours. Those pushpins mark the construction zones, the places we stopped for snacks, the roadside attractions, the plus ones (2s, 3s, 4s?) who became family, even where the blanket was left behind.
Throughout a lifetime, there are many roads that families travel together. Everyone experiences the journey differently but we were all there. Once. Twice maybe? And perhaps one hundred times in our dreams. And maybe just once more sometime yet to come? We'll see. The togetherness doesn't last though. I'd like to say no one gets left behind but it happens. Sometimes, whether by choice or circumstance, we travel on alone yet we are still connected through our maps even when we cannot or choose not to return. Families might be together for decades but hardly long enough when some elsewhere journeys begin or end, heart-wrenching either way.
Maps are meant to revisit, to reaffirm, and to make the journey easier. We can unfold our memories across the kitchen table and talk and laugh and cry a bit too. Maps can remain hidden in our pockets too, folded and protected, places we no longer choose to visit: treacherous roads or car crashes or dead ends. And maps can be neglected too, even forgotten because life interferes: distractions, work, beauty, change, everything.
But in every family shouldn't there be at least one person waiting for your return? Someone so easy to find because the map is so clear, so familiar, so compelling that when you get close enough you have no choice but to run? I know these maps and I know this waiting.
Who waits for you?
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
7:30 AM
4
Comments
Labels:
?,
distractions,
dreams,
evolving,
fathering,
finally,
heart,
how to,
I miss when,
lifelines,
love,
Memory Lane Meanderings,
pain,
signs,
some people,
sometimes,
the wife,
zoetic
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Things that deserve the stink-eye:
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
9:46 PM
2
Comments
Labels:
#hashtags,
fathering,
how to,
idiot-geniuses,
no,
Northern Alberta,
nuts,
odd,
pea-brain,
sheesh,
teens these days,
things that deserve the stink eye,
wacky scientists,
weird,
yeahno
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Things one should never outgrow:
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
10:01 AM
6
Comments
Labels:
?,
#hashtags,
arts,
idiot-geniuses,
let's be honest,
signs,
sometimes,
the little things,
these,
things one should never outgrow,
think,
this is my hood,
zoetic
Friday, July 18, 2014
Some Give.
Door's wide open. |
“Giving in is not the same as giving up.”
Think about that. Like me, it may help you sort something
out.
I interpret these phrases several ways.
1.Giving
in is to compromise or surrender.
2.Giving
up is to abandon or to release.
I know, I know. Some might say we should never give up. But
is giving up always negative?
Giving in is a way to continue momentum in another
direction. Giving up is a way to discontinue momentum. And yet sometimes giving
up might also lead to a new solution, a new outlook, a new path. Depending on
the situation, I see value in both reactions.
For example, one lesson I learned early was to give up my
need to be right. Marriage teaches this to us all doesn't it? However, as the
youngest in my family I developed this essential skill fairly early, just to manage
conflict during my youth. Yet beyond family, it taught me well in life that
giving in, compromising, is a way to forge relationships and build bridges. And
I am proud to say that I try to seek to learn something from everyone
regardless of gender, education, age, religion, culture, past or present, whatever. This learning
inspires me; the listening does too. So do great leaders. I feel this has
helped me determine what I agree with and what I don’t. In this sense, giving
in and giving up has given me so much more.
But there’s another lesson I still haven’t mastered yet: give
up focusing on what’s wrong instead of what’s right. This lesson can make all
the difference in moving forward and achieving happiness. Why? Give in or give
up; either way, something will give.
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
3:27 PM
2
Comments
Labels:
?,
attitude,
evolving,
fathering,
finally,
happiness,
heart,
how to,
mistakes,
patience,
perception,
things one should outgrow,
think,
voices,
you get what you give,
Zig Ziglar,
zoetic
Thursday, July 17, 2014
This is my hood:
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
12:22 PM
3
Comments
Labels:
?,
arts,
attitude,
Canada,
fathering,
idiot-geniuses,
let's be honest,
Northern Alberta,
think,
this is my hood,
voices,
yeahno
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Things one should outgrow...
What exactly did I seed here? |
Sometimes things make us so angry we could punch
butterflies. I get that. Yet unlike some others I know, as I've aged, my angry-young-man rage seems easier to manage, to contain. Thus,
despite occasional lapses, I am actively seeking this goal: do not become a
grumpy old man.
Years ago, a young person asked me this: when exactly do
people get old? I love this question. It’s a tough one. Although hormones do
play a big part in aging, the inquiry was not about biology: not about sagging
skin and aging cells. Instead the question was more like this: what’s the
tipping point between youthful exuberance and “get off my lawn?”
Don’t get me wrong. I
have a certain appreciation for grumpy old men. All elders have wisdom. All
experience lends itself to reflection and contemplation and should be valued. I
also understand grumpy old men. We’ve all been punched in the egos by life’s
unfairness and grumpy old men have been doing it even longer. Plus our bodies
fail us in a variety of ways. Since we men spend much of our youth
arm-wrestling and play-punching each other, fading strength is extremely
irritating. Plus, grumpy old men can be unintentionally hilarious.
So how does one avoid becoming a grumpy old man? I think
the answer has something to do with pie. All flavours help. But more
specifically, a pie graph. Researchers have determined the science behind
happiness. Picture a pie graph divided into three sections: 50% of happiness is
genetic, 10% is circumstances (career, wealth, age, etc.) and 40% is intent. In
other words, genetics and simply CHOOSING happiness is how one actively seeks
to avoid grumpiness.
In conclusion, I will tread onto your lawn long enough to say only one
more thing: if you want people to get off your lawn, maybe it’s because you've seeded too much crabgrass?
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
4:55 AM
5
Comments
Labels:
?,
attitude,
danger,
evolving,
excuses,
fathering,
happiness,
how to,
let's be honest,
men and women,
motivation,
no,
perception,
signs,
things one should outgrow,
things that deserve the stink eye
Friday, July 11, 2014
Wedding Cup
Makeshift Quaich |
My interpretation of the quaich is that it symbolizes what marriage is all about: peace, unity, and friendship. And it should be shared and given and enjoyed and offered in big ways (like a wedding) and especially in those littlest everyday ways.
Happy days to Mason & Melissa. Let's drink to your Dad and to all our Scottish family, old and new and not so Scottish too.
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
11:18 AM
5
Comments
Labels:
?,
best ever,
cancer,
fathering,
good people,
happiness,
heart,
how to,
I miss when,
kinda perfect,
memorable family moments,
Scottish,
thanksgiving,
the little things,
things one should never outgrow,
zoetic
Friday, July 4, 2014
Next?
Happy birthday USA.
As a Canadian I feel like I know you the same way I would know a step-brother who was already an adult when I was born plus you lived with your mother and became famous and now I just see you on TV.
I hope that doesn't sound negative. That is not my intention. There's a nearness and a farness about us. A nearness because I am fascinated with you and yet a farness because you scare me a little bit too.
I have been to Los Angeles, to Detroit, to Miami, a diverse triangle of climate and culture and all were great experiences. And I have so many favourite Americans, their influence immeasurable: ee cummings, Martin Luther King, Jr, Keith Haring, Ray Charles, Cormac McCarthy, Alfred Hitchcock, Maya Angelou, and so on. Be proud America.
But growing up next to you, it was Evel Knievel who really had my attention. During those formative years, I felt he personified the USA. And even now, with all due respect, I feel that if our countries were a game, we Canadians might be truth and you might be dare. And that makes me wonder, what will you do next?
As a Canadian I feel like I know you the same way I would know a step-brother who was already an adult when I was born plus you lived with your mother and became famous and now I just see you on TV.
I hope that doesn't sound negative. That is not my intention. There's a nearness and a farness about us. A nearness because I am fascinated with you and yet a farness because you scare me a little bit too.
I have been to Los Angeles, to Detroit, to Miami, a diverse triangle of climate and culture and all were great experiences. And I have so many favourite Americans, their influence immeasurable: ee cummings, Martin Luther King, Jr, Keith Haring, Ray Charles, Cormac McCarthy, Alfred Hitchcock, Maya Angelou, and so on. Be proud America.
But growing up next to you, it was Evel Knievel who really had my attention. During those formative years, I felt he personified the USA. And even now, with all due respect, I feel that if our countries were a game, we Canadians might be truth and you might be dare. And that makes me wonder, what will you do next?
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
2:54 PM
5
Comments
Labels:
arts,
Canada,
damn Disney,
favourite places,
good people,
idiot-geniuses,
land of giants,
let's be honest,
sheesh,
signs,
think,
this is my hood,
voices,
whoa,
zoetic
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Catch Flies
Source |
Well, to be more accurate, he lives next to my car,
inside the driver’s side mirror. Almost every day he literally makes his home
between that mirror and the door handle. My new friend is a spider.
Think about this. My spider friend is either
exceptionally foolish or a total hero. Fool would likely be the easy choice but
I’m choosing hero. Despite the fact that I drive over 100 km/hr down a bumpy
highway most days and thus his web is very nearly destroyed every single time,
that spider rebuilds every single time. That’s stick-to-it-ness. That’s grit.
That’s perseverance. That’s determination. Meanwhile, I get annoyed when I have
hiccups.
Let’s think for a moment about my insect friend. What
else is that spider building besides a web? Character.
How is it that a spider seems to know more about
character, especially character gained through discipline, than I do? And it’s
not just spiders. Think about other examples in nature: beavers, rats, uh Wily
Coyote. I even heard about a parrot that knows three languages. I mean p-uh-lease.
Some days I have to text someone to walk me through various remote control
functions. It all seems to beg the question: why are we humans such pathetic
overgrown babies by comparison?
Truth is we aren’t. We just forget sometimes. There are
plenty of human “true-gritters:” My go-to absolute-inspiration example is
always, always, always Terry Fox. Mark Twain said, “the secret of getting ahead
is getting started.” Terry Fox certainly started something, didn’t he? And
despite not finishing, his momentum still has continuing ripple effects on
Canadian health, perspective, and pride. That’s impressive. Therefore spiders,
er I mean people, don’t stop building and rebuilding your webs. Catch those
flies.
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
9:13 PM
3
Comments
Labels:
?,
attitude,
dreams,
evolving,
happiness,
heart,
how to,
idiot-geniuses,
motivation,
patience,
perception,
signs,
things one should never outgrow,
things that deserve the stink eye,
think
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Things one should never outgrow:
expecting great things whether you catch them or not.
"I love fishing. You put that line in the water and you don't know what's on the other end. Your imagination is under there." ~Robert Altman
#happyCanadaday
"I love fishing. You put that line in the water and you don't know what's on the other end. Your imagination is under there." ~Robert Altman
#happyCanadaday
Posted by
DB Stewart
at
11:17 PM
3
Comments
Labels:
#hashtags,
arts,
attitude,
Canada,
fishing,
how to,
kinda perfect,
Northern Alberta,
quotes,
stress,
the little things,
things one should never outgrow,
think,
this is my hood,
zoetic
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)