Friday, January 25, 2013

Want to Know?

Want to know what I’ve learned about marriage?
      1. Don’t eat all the fudge.
      2. Don’t eat all the Nutella.
      3. Don’t use the timed-dry option on the dryer. (I don’t know why either. Just. Don’t.)

And that was just in the last month! 

Yes, marriage can be confusing. Not-so-research-based Google says married people are “annoying, boring, cheat and so on.”  Anecdotally, many people have told me that marriage is a very good thing, however, one should avoid the elaborate wedding part due to its cost, the stress, the we-had-to-invite-them-unwanted-guests, etc. Real science has revealed that there really are many benefits to marriage which reportedly include some pretty important considerations:
1. An increased life-span.
2. Higher earnings throughout one’s lifetime.
3. Generally higher levels of happiness.

If it's really that good though then this seems to beg the obvious question: why do so many marriages end?

I don’t know.

Here’s another thing I don’t know. Dear wife, I DO NOT KNOW your internet passwords nor your usernames that you forgot and even if I laugh about what you think your password is and suggest that your new password should be “confused1” and even if you threaten me and then demand, “HELP ME! I MEAN IT!” I still do not know your computer passwords. But despite this, once we stop laughing and making fun of each other, I help you anyway.

And that is truly something else I’ve learned about marriage: help anyway.


CLR said...

db - this is awesome.

I wanted to let you know that I will no longer be blogging at my hammock address. I hope to crank back up soon when I get my bearings back. I plan to keep my blogger account so that I can keep up with all my favorite bloggers and YOU are one of them.

And VERY COOL that we're both INFJs! :)

Anonymous said...

I recently read that the people who live to be 116 normally are single. They live that long since they have less stress in their lives.

The Defiant Marshmallow said...

We definitely share the same lives in different locales, man.

wendy said...

Looks to me like you have this "marriage thing" figured out.
It's always best if a wife says "JUST DON'T"...then don't.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

You used the time-dry option on the dryer? Gawd, you're lucky to be alive, man.

Antares Cryptos said...

And just because I know how an engine works doesn't mean I know how to fix one.

Psst. Never ever eat the last of anything.

Al Penwasser said...

And that seat NEEDS TO BE DOWN!

Mel said...

Perhaps many marriages end over empty jars of Nutella.

Laoch of Chicago said...

Clever post.

Marriages end mostly because people change, and often they do not see things clearly and obfuscate, lie and communicate poorly.

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