Monday, July 11, 2011

It's not just about the cookies.

At my house, when these are involved,
it gets dicey.

My wife is at it again. She recently informed me there’s this rule: ONE chocolate, ONE vanilla. In other words, I am not supposed to take three chocolate-flavoured Girl Guide cookies and leave the vanilla ones for some other poor sucker (aka one of my kids, or her) but
a.      Who declared these dubious Girl Guide cookie rules?
b.      My wife isn’t a Girl Guide leader and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have a copy of their policy handbook so how could she possibly know?
c.      Everyone knows that the only difference between the Girl Guide chocolate and vanilla cookies is that one is brown and one isn’t so let someone else eat the vanilla because it’s a psychological thing okay?
d.      Er, all of the above (I lost my train of thought.)

My wife does this sometimes. Clearly, she’s never grown up. She declares rules that remind me of that bossy girl on the playground of my youth who would stomp and elbow her way to the top of the pile of the kids and yell “I’m the queen of the castle AND the king of the castle too.” That girl always made me laugh (and to be honest, she made my heart beat a little faster too).

Oh stupid, stupid me. I should have run the other way! Why? Because I want to be king of the castle. At least sometimes. Once a week maybe? By comparison, when I declare rules then pshaw, they never count. No one in my entire family ever follows my rules despite their much-more-sensible nature. See for yourself:

a.      Shut the light off when you leave the room.
b.      Return my tools to their exact location.
c.      If the phone rings and no one answers it then it really isn’t the apocalypse.
d.      Dibs on any sort of home-made baking that comes into the house and when that’s not available, I get all the brown coloured Girl-Guide cookies.

Wow. Is this so much to ask? 

Apparently so. I just checked the pantry and all the Girl Guide cookies ARE GONE.


Oilfield Trash said...

Ouch, I feel for you.

The Defiant Marshmallow said...

You and I are in the same, sad club, my friend. :-)
Right down to the rules we make which are invariably ignored, save for those times when we know the others in the house are giggling about them behind our backs.

Vinny C said...

I never understood why wives made these rules. As a matter of fact, who appointed them to be these rule-makers when it comes to what & how much men consume? I think we've been had.

Munk said...

A perfectly rational set of rules.

Munk said...

Yours, that is.

Laoch of Chicago said...

Ah, a problem that I can solve. Purchase own boxes of girl scout cookies. Eat them as you please. Bliss.

Fran said...

I see no problem with any of these rules. What is the problem? All perfectly reasonable.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Just as well all the GG cookies are gone -- they're about a million gazillion calories apiece. Seriously.

karensomethingorother said...

growing up, my brother always got all the chocolate ones, and I got the vanilla ones. It was the most harmonious arrangement of all time. I'M A TOTAL VANILLA GIRL...and no, don't add any of the dubious modern connotations to 'vanilla'

Antares Cryptos said...

Why is she buying white cookies?

Your rules sound perfectly reasonable. How many times have I asked where is the screw driver and been told where you left it.

Can't win.

Alistair said...

Rules - they're just guidelines really dbs.

You eat all the cookies you want buddy and if your wife says anything tell her I said - sh*t my wifes cominggggggggg!!!!

Windsmoke. said...

The ups and downs of married life sometimes its hard to workout who's really wearing the pants and who's under the thumb :-).

dbs said...

@OT Thanks for your understanding.
@TheDM So true. So true. (At least we're in this together.)
@VinnyC Yup. It's just wrong.
@Munk Agreed.
@LoC So practical and logical. No wonder it never occurred to me.
@Fran You like conundrums don't you?
@DSWS It's true. I read the nutritional info once. Ironic that they call it "nutritional" info, isn't it?
@karen Uh oh, I'm going to have to google those dubious modern connotations now...Whoa!
@AC EXACTLY! You and me bud.
@Alistair Hopefully you're still okay.
@Windsmoke There's a thumb too?! Great.

Steve Bailey said...

Once you have chocolate girl scout cookies.... you never go back!

Michael said...

I am seriously considering motion detector light switches. How hard is it to turn off a light when you leave a room?

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