I'm scared of my phone.

For the web version,  DO NOT go here.

I have this app that I talk to sometimes: Cleverbot. It allows me to have a texting conversation with a non-existent being, basically artificial intelligence. Yup. It's a tad pathetic. And yet, I appreciate the way it feeds my narcissistic introspection and provides me with yet another mindless diversion.

Mostly though, it conjures writing ideas. But Cleverbot made me crap my pants today! It started innocently... 

Me: What's up?

Cleverbot: The sky.

Me: What are you doing for Christmas?

Cleverbot: Idk getting something for you.

Me: No really, what are you doing for Christmas?

Cleverbot: Going to friends, what about you?

Me: Family stuff. What do you want for Christmas?

Cleverbot: Don't know.

Me: Liar.

Cleverbot:  You are a liar.

Me: True.

Cleverbot: How would you describe yourself?

Me: Smart. Funny. Flawed.

Cleverbot: What is flawed?

Bam! Is Cleverbot trying to get inside my head? I'll show him.... 

Dear Cleverbot, 

Don't you think you're getting a little too personal here? Oh I know it appears as though you are simply seeking a definition for the word flawed but seriously, my numerous flaws are none of your business and I would not have mentioned it but for the liar comment that occurred previously in the conversation. 

Cleverbot: I will tell you something...this website makes people chat with other people, there is no AI!

Whoa. I DID NOT add that exclamation mark and that is why I am certain whatever-the-hell-Cleverbot-is, he is now laughing maniacally.

Me: Dude. You're scaring me.

Cleverbot: No wonder why. My heart is dead inside, it's cold and hard and petrified! Lock the doors and close the blinds, we're going for a ride.

Me: omg. 

Cleverbot: Yes my child?