Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Things that are most likely the devil:

If this renovation photo of the floor
in my front entry were a video there
would be lots of swearing. Just sayin.'
OLD LINOLEUM GLUE!

Here's what the floor guy told me yesterday:
1. My house is not square.
2. My house requires a lot of extra sub-floor cutting. (Cha-ching!)
3. He has three kids which he referred to quite affectionately as Psycho, Princess and Troublemaker. (By this point I had grown to appreciate his candid ways.)
4. He won't be finished until Thursday.
5. His daughter graduates from high school on Monday so he can't come on Thursday.
5. He will send another guy.
6. Update: he will bring another guy tomorrow.
7. He can't put a sub-floor in my front entry because the transition to the stairs wouldn't work with the differing heights so he told me I needed to get the glue off. (Thus I just spent the last three hours scraping glue.)
8. He also told me there probably isn't any asbestos in that old glue but suggested that I wet it down as I work, just in case. (ASBESTOS?!)

19 comments:

Oilfield Trash said...

Be careful with that glue.

Tim Riley said...

Ah, the joys of home ownership.

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

I'll probably send this to my mom, because she thinks every thing is the devil. She'll probably use this as further evidence that every thing IS the devil.

Lor

Core Contrarian said...

"Hello Mrs. Peabody, I am here for the parent/teacher conference for Psycho."

cbeck said...

You know what they say, The devil is in the details. And here's the break-down:

Devil
Enjoys
Tasty
Asbestos
In
Linoleum
Sticky-glue

So make sure you're wetting that down with holy water...

Elly Lou said...

20 points to cbeck!

Also, don't lick the glue.

Chelle said...

I'm trying to work out who the carpenter is. I must know... I must.

There has to be a product that will level it. Neil will know.

Sarah Lindahl said...

I think you should just move. That sounds horrid. I contemplated moving this morning as I was pulling weeds.

Nubian said...

Okay laughing, but laughing with you. Okay maybe not.

Antares Cryptos said...

Sounds like he's been sniffing too much adhesive. House is not square?
What does that even mean?

Debra She Who Seeks said...

For Gawd's sake, wear a mask! You don't want to end up with black lung or whatever it is that asbestos causes.

Laoch of Chicago said...

Ugh

I'm So Fancy said...

he can't find a guy to scrape the glue? Ah home improvements...

The Defiant Marshmallow said...

Isn't scraping glue part of the reason we have kids?

Hope the guy made sure to tell you to wet it down before you started scraping!

dbs said...

@OT Too late.
@Tim So true.
@Lor Floor glue IS the devil.
@CC I know eh? Hilarious.
@cbeck Nice acrostic.
@EllyLou Too late.
@Chelle He's not from around here. I forgot to mention one other thing he said: "Here's the definition of a smart-ass: if he can sit on an ice cream cone and determine the flavour, he's a smart-ass."
@Sarah Ha! Hilarious.
@Nubian Don't apologize. Just laugh.
@AC I'm not sure what it means but all the trades guys say it.
@DSWS I wore a mask.
@LoC Yup.
@I'm so Fancy Nope. I think he just wanted me to do it. I'm cheap so I obliged.
@The DM Ha! My teens no longer work as slaves. Bummer eh?

Nicole said...

Asbestos? Is your home a 1950s school building? Asbestos is no joke. Don't let it gitcha.

Chelle said...

And you're hiring this guy?

dbs said...

@Nicole Don't worry. My house was built around 1980. And remember: I wet it down, like he said.
@Chelle I just hired the flooring company and they sent me the guy. Or maybe he just stole their truck?

Teachinfourth said...

I ripped up my linoleum in order to tile my kitchen...the glue is the devil.

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