Sometimes

Sometimes words are so unexpectedly moving: "she made room for me." 

A eulogy is more than a personal history. I've been the eulogist, several times, and I've learned that pain lessens when it's public and it's portioned. I want to say a eulogy is about the deceased (it is) but it's also about the speaker, the listeners, the collective cathartic experience, that melancholy space inviting us to pause, reflect, empty ourselves. Sometimes tears fall because ruth fills an entire room. 

I was there to support others, in communion with those whose grief burns third degree, just holding my granddaughter, quiet. My head knew the eulogy was intended for others, but the eulogist spoke heart-first, and that opened us all present, whatever our reasons, to contemplate life's significance, the merit and the meaning. That's the eulogy's other power: it can unify. It can be the antidote to loneliness, division, and cynicism and let's be honest: much of that is what afflicts modern life. Some words aren't just words, they're a balm, a medicine. Sometimes you didn't know you needed a eulogy. 

A potent eulogy is like taking a deep, shaky breath, like opening one's clenched fist. Sometimes a eulogy is a gift, a bid, a beckoning, a renewed purpose, a decision, and a reset; it's willpower divined though a trembling voice. Pay attention. Live. And live accordingly. 

The eulogist said this about her big sister: "I was young and struggling and I needed a place to land and she made room for me, no questions asked, no judging." She didn't elaborate; she didn't need to. That quick decision, likely made without question, became a critical juncture in her little sister's life. Haven't we all been there? 

After the eulogy, others were invited to speak and that theme bloomed bright in every other story, every single one. With tears and laughter, her indebted siblings, nieces, nephews, friends, and co-workers gave thanks. And although I didn't know her big sister well, I knew everything I needed to know, gratitude surfacing in my own mind's well for those who made room for me. 

Can a life be summarized in five words? Yes. Sometimes five words can be a profound legacy.