He looked so familiar, a combination of my father and grandfather: the work-boots and the barn coat (Dad), the foggy spectacles (Dad), the flat cap (Grandpa), the beer (?) in his bag (Grandpa), the hint of loneliness (Grandpa). A bit giddy, I wanted to look him in the eyes, smile wide, and say, it's so good to see you again.
I did not. Undoubtedly, jet-lag and sleep-deprivation (flying Edmonton to Halifax to London) contributed to this sentimental moment but this phenomenon happens regularly when I travel. Many times, I have encountered other foreigners I'm positive I know but it's just psychology. Unconscious anxiety compels us to seek safety: the familiar strangers effect is one way we feel more secure, more attached in new contexts.
It's quite a common human experience and I kinda love it. Maybe most strangers really are just friends we haven't yet met?
I have this happen often, strangers remind me of people from my past. It's nice that it brought up such good memories for you.
ReplyDeleteYes, it launched the trip in just the right way.
DeleteMy daughter who was living in Calgary at the time, met another Calgarian in a market in London. We had a similar experience. We were at the Hopewell Tocks in NB. There at the entrance was a friend who just lived a few blocks over form us n Sarnia ON. We never crossed paths by happenstance in Sarnia.
ReplyDeleteLove these kinds of stories. I once encountered a university roommate (almost 20 years late) on a connector flight from Frankfurt to Rome.
DeleteWhat a treat to have you back. Reading your entries is always such a pleasure. I'm glad you love the experience you wrote about, even if it isn't all sunshine. I only once experienced something similar. I saw a woman who looked like Mom, from a distance. My heart skipped a happy beat till I remembered it couldn't be her. Joy-->Sorrow from one instant to the next. I say the happy moment added a year to my life and the next moment subtracted it. Hehe.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I know this mix of joy and sorrow too... but I typically attempt to default to joy.
DeleteAt times we realise just what a small world we live in.
ReplyDeleteBig, small, in-between... the trick is to pay attention.
DeleteI did not know there was a name for it.
ReplyDeleteI was very fond of my maternal grandfather. He died in 2001. About five years ago I was in the grocery store and an elderly man approached me from the right. I saw him from the corner of my eye without actually looking at him. And he spoke to me in my grandfather's voice. When I looked up, he resembled my grandfather, too. Except shorter.
Can't remember what grocery item he was seeking, but I directed him to it. And then I had to leave the store and cry. Huh. It's making me cry now, too.
It's quite a moving experience, isn't it? (Your story moves me too.)
DeleteI had never heard of the familiar strangers effect but I too love the idea of it. It makes sense really. Reminds me of that saying that just jumped into my head as I contemplated the phenomenon—“we’re all just walking each other home.”
ReplyDeleteI love it too, along with the notion of walking each other home. True...if only most people lived that way.
Delete...can each and every human be totally unique?
ReplyDeleteGreat question...I hope to read your answer someday.
Delete...I have more questions than answers.
DeleteAs I've gotten older strangers seem to look familiar. Maybe it's because I've seen so many faces over the years? :-)
ReplyDeleteRelatable. I think that's a fair thesis too.
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