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They irk me. 😡
Yes, it's irrational, yes it's unfounded, yes it's ironic, yes I'm not proud of it, and yes, you wouldn't think deep breathing is necessary but yes, it is.
Also this: I know I'm not alone in being riled by these truly vibrant things—things that should evoke celebration, joy, peace, contentment, but instead, they make my blood pressure spike.
My reasoning? Let's be honest: they can be a cumbersome chore. I once read a news report about a man who attempted to untangle his Christmas lights and after hours of strained patience, he finally got his hand gun and blasted them...then his neighbours reported him. Yes, too far dude, but isn't there a tiny part of you...?
The main reason though? THEY JUST CAME DOWN YESTERDAY. Yesterday.
Our relentless snowfall, our mini ice-age finally melted (like, last week), and it took a few days to get around to removing them rage-yanking the Christmas lights off the tree in the front yard. Side note: imagine a Maypole dance scene written by Stephen King—that would be me circling our ten foot tree as I unravel a string of Christmas lights (oh jingle bells) seething all the way, deep breathing all the way + 18 swear words, lol. Sigh.
Here's the kicker: my wife absolutely adooooooooorrrrrrrrrrres Christmas lights. I'm happy they make her happy, but this also means my dark, destructive thoughts (irrationally longing to be vented and affirmed) must remain inside, inconspicuous, and in-check, or risk becoming infamous.
Here's my point, dear friends: in marriage and partnership things like clutter, or dishes, or laundry, or thermostats, or tchotchkes, and yes decorations too...well, let's just concede that one person's vibrant thing might be more torment than blessing.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
She loves them and you put them up in spite of hating them? I like you more and more all the time. -Kate
ReplyDeleteOh, what we do for love.
ReplyDeleteIt's so kind that you do this for her. Ours just came down a week ago so I wouldn't worry about it. Why can't we just keep lights up all year? Who said we had to take them down?
ReplyDeleteYou are heard. A partial fix is to wind the strings onto holders. I have a big plastic tote devoted to these holders. Once the string is wound, it is hung in the tote. Next year one takes out the holder, a sucker is lured onto the ladder and you give this poor soul one end of the string. Then you walk around the tree, unwinding it. Plug in the next string and repeat, having removed ladder and generous helper. Works with both outside and inside lights. I cannot recall where I got these marvels of engineering, but probably a hardware store.
ReplyDelete