25/31

Links to 24/31 &
the 31 Vibrant Things Launch Post

Years ago, I started a new job and quickly became close with a new colleague about 15 years younger than me. Becoming more connected, we discovered we have common Scottish heritage; he showed me his wedding photo, proudly donning his kilt. During that conversation, he asked me about my kids who were teenagers at the time. With a smirk, I didn't hesitate to say, "I wholeheartedly recommend marriage, but kids? Not so much." 

Little did I know he and his wife had just learned she was pregnant with their first child. Yup, insert foot here. I can be a tad too candid, even flippant sometimes. He didn't reveal the pregnancy until a few months later and we laughed about my comment. Why did I say that? 

We're not special; all families face all sorts of challenges, but sometimes, if you know what I mean, the phone call is coming from inside the house. But raising teens is behind us now, so today, would I say the same thing about having kids? 

I have thought about this a lot. I have sorted through my feelings. I have written words, words, words, and more words. I'm older now, and I've changed. Fortunately, the past is settled, frontal lobes have fully formed, we knitted ourselves back together, we've all grown—sadly, not all families find their way back to each other. Speaking of evolving, my daughter gave me this book during her first pregnancy and made this vibrant thing even more meaningful by filming herself reading it.😭

So as they raise their own children now (and only if they seek my perspective), I tell them my truth: being a parent will test you like nothing else. And you will fail. Repeatedly. So be prepared to fail at what will become the most important job you never imagined you'd be so terrible at. You will be triggered. You will be uncomfortable. You will need to confront your own shit. And it will hurt. And it may even break you a time or two. But it will still be worth it.