Interior Monologue: [flipping over in bed for the second time] What is that noise? [flipping again] What is that? [big sigh] It's like...it's like...[listening carefully] it's like there's a bathtub in my neighbour's yard...and it's empty...[attempts to shut it out and return to sleep but hears it again]...and inside the tub there's an otter...[flips over]...an otter?...[listening carefully again]...yup, an otter...and he's, what is he doing?...he's scootching his bum...yup, he's scootching his bum back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...bathtub scootching squeaking noises [furrowed brow]...scootching and scootching...and yup, that little bastard is smiling at me while he's scootching and scootching [visualizes uzi]...what is he doing and why does he hate me?...scootching and scootching and scootching...[riddles little otter with bullet holes followed by a momentary pang of guilt and then finally, thankfully, slumber].
8 comments:
Jeezuz, why the hate on for otters, dbs? What did they ever do to you?
Equally as bad: Strange noises you actually can identify.
Like the crying child/children/newborn baby ensemble in the other apartment... or worse... the repeat banging of the neighbors' headboard as they apparently attempt to add more to their flock.
O man. I had a raging case of scooching bum otters back in college. Thank God for penicillin.
This actually makes complete sense.
Laughing.:)
Laughing myself silly here.
WHO KNEW...an otter in a bathtub.
Ear plugs!
SO annoying....
hahaha
Love the word "scootch." Use it all the time with the oldies when I need them to move up in the hospital bed so they can sit taller.
Post a Comment