Monday, January 10, 2011

Things that deserve the stink eye:

Odd confession: I spontaneously clap. It just happens. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with turning the lights on or off. (Well. Kinda.)

Before I was married, this behaviour was rare and it confused me. However, one of the benefits of losing my single status was an increased self-awareness (read: decreased desperation caused by *coughs* an increased ability to get lucky). In other words, I became capable of thinking with much more clarity. But my odd clapping continued, random like. It even increased. (I do not clap at work. Unless of course, someone does something amazing which might include bringing a homemade cake to the staffroom.) So before I really pondered on this oddity I typically had this sort of conversation in my head:

*random spontaneous clap (just one)*
Me: What am I doing?
Also me: *smiles*
Me: Maybe I have Tourettes?
Also me: *smiles* *makes the stink eye*

Now however, I know the secret to this clapping: it's just plain happiness. (Sorry I know it's a cliche.) Here's how I discovered it:

*random spontaneous clap*
Me: What am I doing?
Also me: I feel good. *smiles*
Me: Is that what this is?
Also me: Yup. *smiles*

This peabrained epiphany allowed me to accept my own and others' odd idiosyncrasies and by others I mean my own little family. (This may be nature or nurture, but either way, it's mostly my fault.) One periodically squawks like a bird; one makes faces and uses semi-coherent gibberish. (One does nothing of the sort but refrains from complaining. We make her answer the door.) But it's all okay. It may seem to the outside world that we are more hospital ward than family but I know this freakish behavior is just plain happiness.

And I like it.

Does anyone else do this? Or live with this? (Go ahead and lie if you feel compelled.)


SherilinR said...

random, spasmodic clapping. hmm... no one in my house suffers from that. but there's quite a bit of spasmodic dancing & meowing (humanly done, not just by cats) that goes on around here. and now that you mention it, we only dance & meow when we're happy. who knew?

Chelle said...

I make suction-farting sounds with my hands when deep in thought.

That is one of about 298374923842342 psych ward committable (is that a word?) um.. quirks.

Ben jumps in front of strangers on the sidewalk in the 'tiger' stance, though, and I think that's worse and automatically detracts from people noticing mine.

Sull is a clapper.

Kev D. said...

I do that when I laugh about something. I like to think of it as an exclamation point at the end of a good guffaw.

Tell your wife to be careful, the clap is an STD last I checked.

Chelle said...

Also, I really hate to burst your bubble, but you totally clap at work.

Furry Bottoms said...

I'm giggling at the comment above, about how you totally clap at work, hehehehehe.

This brings to mind... I had a very odd habit that really disturbed me in the past. Somehow, for some reason I would purse my lips as if to kiss someone. This would happen with ANYBODY, not particular people, but ANYBODY. That really, really unnerved me.

I don't do it anymore. That I am aware of!!!! But thinking back... now I understand why a friend, a girl thought I was pursuing her. I totally wasn't! I don't sail that way!

Vinny C said...

I can't think of any such quirks that I may have (quite possible that I'm in total denial, though) My wife, however, does this pouty/pursed lips thing when she's focused on some task.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Sometimes I hold my mouth funny when I put on earrings. Are you going to use this info to blackmail me now? You won't get much.

Fran Hill said...

No, but my shoulders shake when I find myself funny, usually just at the moment when no one else does. All the kids do an impression of it.

Martha Brockenbrough said...

Is it wrong that I've always wanted a Clapper?

DB Stewart said...

@SherilinR Sorry I confused you for a while but must happen to others (in their own unique ways.)
@Chelle Awesome. Love quirks.
@KevD Nice. I knew somebody (you) was going to go there.
@Chelle WHAT?! Seriously? Whoa. Thank you for letting me know.
@Auntof14 Best story. Awesome.
@VinnyC Not denial, you just can't think clearly yet. ;)
@DSWS Good example. I WILL blackmail you (at some point, in the nicest way possible.)
@Fran Aren't young people wonderful?
@MB I want one too. And it's so great you visited my blog but it immediately put me in intense edit mode and yup, I found at least one spelling error in this post. (This is out of respect to your excellent blog.) Please come back anyway.

Claire said...

I have a creepy weird feeling right now because I think we might share a brain.
I & myself ( ha!) have had the SAME conversation (also, good to know others think like me, was worried about this prior to now) before.
My husband, in fact often randomly claps, and he said once that be too believe it makes life happier.
Clapping is the key. Amazing.

In all seriousness, this brings up questions which I may have to voice & will need your answers too! I'm just tickled someone else thinks like me!!

Claire said...

OH! Geeze..I'm giddy over here.
AND! I call it the squint eye. I am making it RIGHT NOW.
I give it to others & even myself often.
This is just amazing.

DB Stewart said...

@Claire Giddier!

Unknown said...

I can't believe this isn't on your comments section yet:

If you're happy and you know it
Clap your hands!
If you're happy and you know it
Clap your hands!
If you're happy and you know it
then your face will surely show it
If you're happy and you know it
Clap your hands!

DB Stewart said...

@paul True. But I did anticipate this. Click on the link in paragraph 4.

Artist and Geek said...

You're just a happy weird guy.

*CLAP*. WTF?????

triles said...

Love this post. My wife says I have singing tourettes. I break into song at completely random moments. Of course, I can't sing, and the words are often way off, but it seems I can't help myself.

DB Stewart said...

@A&G Exactly.
@Tim Riley Thanks man. It does not matter one bit if you can't sing. Actually it's better.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Clap on
clap off
clap on
clap off, the clapper.

I'm having a flashback.

Didactic Pirate said...

More evidence that there's a thin, thin line between actual happiness, and a diagnosable illness.

Unknown said...

And here you reveal my secret shame, I don't click on hyperlinks on bloggers' pages...

DB Stewart said...

@MrsTuna Ha!
@DP Well said.
@paul No worries.

Kev D. said...

I never really thought about how important it is to note that it is a SINGLE clap...

I did it again last night when I laughed at something and it FREAKED ME OUT.

Thanks, thanks for RUINING MY LIFE.

Also, how did you know that I would go there? :)

Nicole Leigh Shaw said...

I sing all the time. Usually semi-relevant bits of songs. So, shopping in the bakery, I might sing "Hot Cross Buns." And I'm not quiet about it.

t i m said...

I tend to click my fingers, but I now feel inspired to upgrade to clapping 2.0 when I'm happy instead. :)

Missy said...

I Clap Once and say, "Ha!" sometimes with No Warning!
I have no idea where this comes from and my DH has threatened divorce!
I think it is a sign of High Intelligence!!!

Artist and Geek said...

DBS! *Clap*. Thanks for the Inception. *Clap*. Exhausted. *Clap*.

You need a disclaimer that readers of your blog will be turned into happy clapping Morons, who engage in spontaneous laughter at inopportune times.

DB Stewart said...

@KevD Dude. I did not ruin your life. And I knew you were going to go there because you have a way with words and extra chutzpah (and that's a compliment).
@Nicole That is so cool. I just imagined sharing a smile with you at the grocery store.
@tim Nice. I think your system works too.
@Missy Awesome. I agree that it suggests high intelligence.
@A&G Ha! And kick. (Inception complete.) I am totally enjoying the visual I'm getting from your comment and I wish someone would animate it. If I only had more time....

Artist and Geek said...

Where was I?
Oh yeah. I had this great idea of switching careers and animating and researching for your blog.

Dbs-you are one hoopy frood.

Laoch of Chicago said...

So in the dbs universe the clapper is a dangerous instrumentality?

Alittlesprite said...

My Dad is a clapper. Especially when we watched Fotty and his team scored a goal.
Hubby blows random raspberries, mostly when lifting something heavy, like it gives him extra strength or something.
I don't do anything. Nope. Completely normal....
*looks down and whispers* "completely normal..."

Alittlesprite said...


DB Stewart said...

@A&G I'm still waiting.
@LoC Most def. On a good day it would be like a strobe light.
@alittlesprite You just don't know what your little quirk is. Your happiness comes out in your art (giant sperm paper sculptures and baking...I've seen the photos.)

michael.offworld said...

I love to fart. Most funny is when I'm walking up the stairs and one comes out in multiple parts in time with my steps. Those ones are the best. I need to sit down at the top of the steps and laugh for a minute. My wife thinks I'm weird. She's probably right.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...