Saturday, February 4, 2012

Three Sentence Story


     For his ninth birthday my son's grandparents gave him a trip in a small four-seater plane and the pilot told him he was allowed to take one person with him. He looked at each of us and finally chose his big sister.
     Both my kids were on that plane.

Trifecta's at it again. This time the task was to create a story in three sentences. I'm enjoying these flash fiction challenges because they're so hard. It seems there are so many things to consider when less is more.

34 comments:

diana | nessreen said...

That's a great one!! :D

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Good job!

MOV said...

bone-chilling

should win

best,
MOV
(word cut)

Amanda said...

I love it. You're the real deal.

barbara said...

not sure how I would feel . . . scared for my kids . . . furious with the person who put them in that plane . . . jealous I wasn't the one chosen . . . or proud that my son had chosen well. :)

Pickleope said...

You really are good at these compressed stories. And inspirational, so, here we go:

She was choking. I didn't know the Heimlich so I slapped her back and she punched her own sternum until suddenly, up came the ring. Judging by the results of my plan to hide the ring in a cupcake, I let her plan the wedding.

Michael said...

So hard to write short. You done good.

SherilinR said...

only 3 sentences, but left me feeling a quite surge of emotion just imagining it. nicely done.

jesterqueen.com said...

I like the way this could be poetic and beautiful or utterly tragic and terrifying.

Alittlesprite said...

Oh I agree With Barbara, I'd have mixed feelings with that one.

Great writing, it may be short but it sure got me thinking.

L-Diggitty said...

Wow, this made my gut clench and I don't even have kids! Plus I love to fly... well done!

Amelia said...

This made me want to barf. Just the hint of a thought is enough so strong is my fear.

dopdavid said...

ive seen so many of these reciently! how come i didnt find out :/

Alistair said...

Very nice - maybe we should all head over and give it a go too. I bet it would keep the grey matter flexing for sure.

Nice one dbs.

HeatherL said...

For three short little sentences, that was powerful imagery. I can see myself standing by a tin can with wings watching my children climb in without me. Yikes!

Kim at Let Me Start By Saying said...

Is s/he looking back in pride or reflecting on a devastating accident? Intriguing. I like this.
Came from the Trifecta link.

Satu said...

I'm terribly scared of flying and would never get on a plane if I didn't absolutely have to so I know I'd be a party pooper and wouldn't allow my kids to go... This is truly tragic.

What Gee thinks... said...

On man! That has scary nerves written all over it.

Dana said...

Of course, as a mother and someone terrified of flying, I read this and thought the ending was a bad one -- with the plane crashing and the two kids dead. I hope that if we were allowed a fourth sentence, you'd tell us how much fun they had once they landed safely!

The Defiant Marshmallow said...

Wow! Man, that little three sentence story just smacked me! You nailed that challenge.

Jenna said...

chilling and sad was the perspective i came away with after reading it. powerful!

G said...

nice story for three sentences...

Jim said...

Nicely done! So much easier when someone else does the editing!

Kelly Garriott Waite said...

Oh, nice. Sad.

wendy said...

THEN WHAT HAPPENED ???

Shockgrubz said...

I'm thinking that the plane did not make it. Nice work!

Trifecta said...

Thanks for linking up to the weekend challenge. Wow. Your story has stayed with me. Although, technically, we don't know what happened to the plane, the words "that plane" pretty much give it away, don't they? You've done a fabulous job creating characters, plot and mood all with very few words. Nicely done. Hope you'll come back on Monday for the week prompt.

Trifecta said...

Thanks for linking up to the weekend challenge. Wow. Your story has stayed with me. Although, technically, we don't know what happened to the plane, the words "that plane" pretty much give it away, don't they? You've done a fabulous job creating characters, plot and mood all with very few words. Nicely done. Hope you'll come back on Monday for the week prompt.

Symdaddy said...

Did they come back or are they still heading towards Cuba?

karen said...

I too feel like Barbara. That would be a tough experience but ... so amazing.

Last summer at the fair, my kids went on the swings that are up about 40 stories. Two little girls, 7 and 8, and me on the ground helpless.

Then I went up on the ride a couple of hours later with them in the swings ahead of me, and that was even worse!

I never thought it ended in tragedy, but I may be projecting. I usually am.

karen said...

Whoops! and congratulations. This is well worth the honour!

The Mommy Patient said...

Congratulations. Pretty brilliant. I was really surprised today to find out they didn't make it. I guess my brain just couldn't go there when I read it the first time. (I'm still not sure I can make myself think of it ending that way.)

JC said...

Wow, you nailed it. Brief but full. Thank you.

PokerLawyer said...

Wow! Where can I read the rest???

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