Saturday, January 1, 2011

The Real Hogmanay (from a true blue Scot!)

I had to publish the reply I received from a true blue Scot regarding my New Year's Eve post in which I shared my jealous and pea-brained understanding of Hogmanay, Scotland's terrific New Year's Eve celebrations. For helping educate this Canadian who is now even more determined to someday partake in these festivities, Alistair totally made my day! His reply is as follows:




Hullo dbs. Happy Hogmanay!
A wee bit of help with the list....
  1. Nae longjohns. Nae Pants. Nae Nuthin'. It's tradition and we're very big on that over here. People who wear pants {that's underwear in our culture, the other things are trousers - troosers - AKA breeks. Don't ask. It's a long story} are weaklings or worse, possible English!
  2. Shit faced over here is fou, puggled, wasted, oot yer face, steamin or stocious. At Hogmanay you have to get this way. It's the law. Honest!
  3. This 'balls of fire' thing is our way of trying to heat the audience and share the love. Sometimes it's a way of retaining personal space in a crowd and preventing female tourists from checking that you're a real Scotsman under that kilt. Actually that last bit is fairly rare, but at New Year those hands can be bloomin cold.
  4. You have to bring food or drink to a party or you don't let them in. We're all for a party but we're still Scots!
  5. This is a rumour only. See No.4. We're no daft. The more food and drink the better the party.
  6. To be honest some of the music can be awful - but it's better with plenty of booze. [rule No 4 again] Even us Scots don't know the words to 'Auld Lang Syne' its more about having a wee dance about in preparation for No 8really.
  7. This nonsense - known as Up-Helly-A only happens on Shetland. These are a confused bunch of inbred islanders who don't really know if they're scots or Vikings - or how to work - or build - a BBQ that doesn't look like a boat properly. It's a bit of a shame really and we don't talk about it except in a really patronising way.
  8. I've never heard of this one but I've kissed a few dogs in my time. You can get arrested for kissing policemen - even at Hogmanay.
  9. If you made this up you're definitely Scots!!
Slainte {cheers}
Al.

17 comments:

Nicole said...

What about the haggis? Al, thanks! I'm sure this info will come in quite handy someday. I can't imagine how, but I'm sure of it.

Missy said...

LMAO! WOW!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh those wacky Scots!

Artist and Geek said...

LOL. Thanks Al and dbs.

Knackered.

Alistair said...

That well known delicacy the haggis or 'Great Chieftain o' the puddin' race' is a bit of a misnomer actually. We really only make it for two reasons see. One is so we can laugh at the expressions all the tourists make as they try to eat the stuff and the other is so we can eat it ourselves, ostensibly proving - if such a thing was needed - that we are superior to other culture but in reality forcing down something that means you have to immediately reach for another drink.

No, I'm just joking. Haggis is a wonderful dish. Catching the wee buggers in the first place can be a bit of a challenge though.

:-D

For more help dealing with our wonderful Scots language try this post......

http://crivensjingsandhelpmaboab.blogspot.com/2009/09/glossary.htm

Resulting questions answered for a small fee.

{Well I am Scots......}

ps. Thanks for the mention dbs

Didactic Pirate said...

Love it. I'd write a longer comment, but I got a wee bit puggled last night, to the point where even my stocious wife said, "Aye! Look at you, oot yer face!"

Happy New Year, though.

Laoch of Chicago said...

I spent some time in Scotland in Edinburgh and Aberdeen long ago. It was transcendently beautiful there, filled with excellent pubs, amazing hills and mountains and perhaps the worst food known to man.

Artist and Geek said...

dbs no public e-mail add.?

Alittlesprite said...

LOL @AL now you're going to have everyone think Haggis is some sort of small furry animal! :)

Mrs. Tuna said...

I guess all this poor Hungarian can say is Happy New Year.

dbs said...

@Nicole See above.
@Missy I know. It's great isn't it?
@DSWS Gotta love em.
@Alistair Thank you for even MORE info. P.S. Let's go haggis hunting together sometime.
@DP Thanks. Hope you feel better soon.
@LoC I look forward to it all someday.
@A&G think.stew@gmail.com
@alittlesprite Isn't it?
@MrsTuna And a happy Hungarian new year to you too.

Sandra said...

I kind of shook my head a few times...but that's probably just me.

The Gaelic Wife said...

I think I missed something.

#1 - Does he mean "going regimental" under a kilt? Or does he mean stark-raving naked?

#4 - Yet more confirmation that I am indeed a Scot. I do that too.

#9 - I must go back and read the original post.

#10 - Can you introduce me to Al? He sounds like a fun guy.

dbs said...

@Sandra That's allowed.
@TGW #1. He means naked.
#4. Mos def.
#9. There's a link to it in the first paragraph; it's my Dec. 31 post.
#10. Sure. He's in my blogroll now or google "criven, jings and help ma blog."

Cheeseboy said...

Wow, you Scots live it up way more than we Jews.

dbs said...

@Cheeseboy Ha. Our testosterone brain cell ratio might be a little wonky though.

Kimber Leszczuk. said...

I love it and I would probably be one of those tourists guilty of checking to see if they were wearing anything under the kilts! LMAO

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