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Friday, May 30, 2025

Help Yourself.

Thanks, Grandma
My life-long relationship with food? Dysfunctional. Someday we may delve into that topic. 

Anyway, current status? Complicated, and healthy-ish, but perhaps not in the (caloric) way you might be thinking. Let me explain.

A Gen X kid (aka 8/10 times without parents), I taught myself how to "cook" all the 70s-80s savory classics: mostly fish sticks, oven fries, KD, tuna casserole, chili, and other box/ package/ can-opener inspired meals. (I still firmly believe that most meals should be cooked in one pot and eaten as leftovers for days.) Except for rice-Krispie squares—marshmallows are fun to melt—childhood me never learned to cook anything sweet.
 
After years of attempting to feed my kids (no comparison to my wife's abilities), cut to becoming an empty-nester (about a decade ago). Equipped with more time, knowledge, and skills than childhood me, I decided to join that elusive club of people who made food others actually enjoyed. In most cases, people ate my culinary concoctions with more resignation than reverie. So, always a creative, I began to experiment. I failed. I succeeded. I learned how to make chocolate-chip cookies that are infinitely more popular than I am. 

And that's it. Insert record-scratch sound here. I perfected these cookies and that's all I made for years; it's still my go-to. I call my recipe, 'Small Cookies are Stupid,' because they are. 

But this taught me something more meaningful than recipes. Cooking sweets for others boosts my mental health. My cookies make people happy; happy is not my default mode, but making people happy? Pure dopamine. 

Cut to the pandemic. Remember those tragic and trying 24 months when most humans became more we-orientated than I-orientated? But then thanks to politics and social media 30% of humans went batshit? Sigh. Who didn't need extra dopamine during those days? So I mastered my Grandma's cupcake recipe. And gave them away again and again and again; I made them for my own birthday party this week. Why? Gifting cupcakes boosts my personal growth, and increases my life's purpose and meaning. It bolsters my self-acceptance. It lifts my heart too. In short, everyone is rewarded; IT'S A DOPAMINE PARTY!

Dear friends, happiness is fleeting. But mastering something simple and sharing it with others? Help yourself. 

28 comments:

Kate said...

Happy Birthday, young feller!
I haven't had breakfast yet and your cupcakes are looking pretty good.

Pixie said...

I'm the same way except I love baking and I'm good at it. I love seeing other people enjoy my baking, the compliments are nice too but they make me squirm a little. Mostly, it's nice to see other people enjoy something.

Christina said...

Happy Birthday! I love a wee chocolate chip cookie but don’t like baking them…

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Happy Birthday, DB! Those cupcakes look dee-lish!

Anvilcloud said...

I like Dopamine party. Doing something for others as I have recently posted -- letting someone go ahead of you -- is self-satisfying. I suppose that we are being a bit selfish in a way.

Anonymous said...

Codex: Happy birthday. Dude, same. Big pots are made for stews of all kinds. My bean-tofu stew is so good I stopped inviting people.

I mistook regret for nostalgia. I wish I'd been taught early, especially because we ate really healthy. Baking? Congratulations. It's an achievement. I have zero talent, but a lot of hilarious stories.

Altruism has always made me feel good. I don't question it. Pass me a few of your cookies will ya?

jenny_o said...

Happy, happy birthday, DB! Here's to many more.
I would just like to add that this is my most favourite of your posts since I've starting reading your blog. IMO it's an excellent piece of writing, period, but I also feel it personally, as my mood has been reset, it seems, since my husband's death and everything that followed (without him beside me), and my default is "sad". When I think of baking or cooking, it feels like a chore. I remember when I baked and cooked to share it with him. Perhaps it's time to try to rechannel that effort toward other people. You've given me things to think about, and I thank you for that.

John A Hill said...

Happy birthday!
Mine is a couple of weeks away so plenty of time to send cookies or cupcakes my way!

Kathy G said...

Happy Birthday. I enjoy cooking more than baking, because there's less precision involved. With that being said, there's always a bag of oatmeal/whole grain muffins in the freezer. The 'recipe' is open to a lot of interpretation.

CheerfulMonk said...

Happy birthday! I no longer bake bu I try to fond cheerful things on the internet to share with people.

Marci said...

Happy Birthday friend!! I made black bean brownies today. (The gift that keeps on giving 😁) I know, right? What the hell happened to us haha?!

DB Stewart said...

Young feller? Lol.

DB Stewart said...

No need to squirm, just enjoy.

DB Stewart said...

I can hear you say "wee chocolate chip cookie" in my great grandparent's Scottish accents and it makes me happy...but always eat the big cookie.

DB Stewart said...

Just happy to be alive. Thank you.

DB Stewart said...

You never sound selfish, AC.

DB Stewart said...

Wish I could.

DB Stewart said...

Lovely comment. Thank you, and yes, think about it.

DB Stewart said...

Wish I could.

DB Stewart said...

Baking in the freezer is probably next to grandparents in the dictionary.

DB Stewart said...

That works too. Virtual dopamine parties.

DB Stewart said...

Haha. I don't know what happened. Our past selves would just shake their heads at us. Miss ya.

Bill said...

So you're another year older and wiser. Happy Birthday!! Those chocolate delights looks delicious.

Tom said...

...wishing you a Happy 29th Birthday.

Midwest Mark said...

Mastering one dish and making it your go-to for [fill in the blank] is a goal to which we should all aspire. In my case, it's guacamole (though my recent foray into rum cake may give the guac a run for its money).

Anonymous said...

Codex:
"Looks like someone poured borscht on a taco."
*grins*

37paddington said...

That’s because you’re a bedrock good human. We need more of you.

jabblog said...

Happy Birthday! Feeding others is a gift to oneself, even my offerings! It's not the food so much as the effort that goes into it for other people that the recipients appreciate. So, keep on keeping on!