I did something very, very stupid. Okay, not very, very
stupid, just regular stupid. Plus a little bit more than that. One might call
it “guy stupid.” But my heart was in the right place. Everything went wrong
quite innocently.
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Here’s what I did: I bought some Christmas gifts. In September.
That’s pretty organized isn’t it? One might say exemplary
time-management. I suspect that I was in the one percentile of all men who
bought Christmas gifts in September of this year. Whoa. According to my
pea-brain, that’s a big deal. Like maybe an on-the-news kind of big deal. Okay
that’s probably idiotic but the truth is this: I will never, ever do that
again.
Before I explain why, I will say that I did not do this
because I’m attempting to be a reformed last-minute-shopper. I’m totally ok
with last-minute shoppers but that was never really my style. I’m more of an
all-at-once shopper. Mostly I like to “get it over with a few weeks before
Christmas.” And by get it over with I mean I prefer to complete my entire
Christmas shopping in one single day, a sort-of marathon shopfest. Yup, I’m a
dreamer: this never seems to work. So this year, when I suddenly realized that
I was in the perfect place to shop for some quality items that members of my
family would probably appreciate, I did just that. Within fifteen minutes I
bought several gifts for them without being caught, along with some decoy items
for myself which would explain the bag I carried out of that gem of a store. And
do you want to know how I felt? Proud. Smug even.
As the saying goes, “prideth goeth beforeth the falleth” (close enough) because
here’s the thing: when I returned home I hid those purchases and now, three
months later, after much searching (swearing), I have no idea, absolutely no idea where
they are. Plus there’s one more glitch: I can’t quite remember what I bought so
I don’t know what I’m looking for. Sheesh.
And so this is exactly why guys leave their shopping until the last minute.
10 comments:
I lukily got all my done. But I know what you mean. It's hard to remember where it all went. I just stuff them in the closet until wrapping time.
Proper procedure is on December 23rd, or if you are a real man, the 24th, you arise and say, "today is the shopping day." You head to the mall and an hour later you finish and reward yourself with a frosty beverage. You stop on the way out and hand some people who are sitting at a table, who wrap for charity, a wad of bills. They wrap. You load your vehicle and head home, exhausted from your labors.
@Adam I checked there.
@Laoch I like the way you think.
Hahahahahaha, I'm sure they'll turn up after Christmas. My Rare One found a CD in her car about 6 months after Christmas one year -- a gift she had bought for moi that had slipped between the seats. So receiving this belated gift was a REAL surprise!
Maybe they found them already.
You'll find them eventually and then someone will have a nice Valentines Day or Arbor Day or President's Day gift.
Think of how impressed everyone will be then.
Lor
Like Vinny C says...maybe that special person found a special something in a couch cushion and was like, whoa! I don't remember this one, but...well...maybe I KIND OF do...I'm so glad I found it! It's a Christmas miracle! Now that I'm thinking about it, I wonder what dbs is getting me for Christmas...
My Husband is irritatingly opposite to you.. we can come home with nothing after hours of shopping because everything we looked at wasn't "Quite right"..gggrrr.
It's the thought that counts, right? So tell your family this story and then laugh and laugh about it, and there's the gift. Easy.
You're getting old. Time to start doing old-man things like falling asleep in your big chair when you get home from work. It's not all bummer though, soon we will be able to wear suspenders.
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