What does a man want? What does a woman want?

     I was talking with some colleagues this past summer at a conference and during a break, one of the women, divorced and now considering dating again, turned to me, the only guy in our group, and asked this question: what exactly is a man looking for in a woman?

     Yeah. I know. Awkward. How did I end up in that conversation? And why ask me? I’m totally out of that single loop. But I gave it a go, commencing, as usual, with the first pea-brained ideas that entered my head. What do I think men are looking for in a woman?

1.      You should try to smell good.

2.      You should try to look good.

3.      You should try to be good.

     At that moment, this was all I had. But to be honest, I think most guys don’t have a huge list of criteria and I told the woman that. I added that some guys have a very detailed list of criteria for #2 but those guys are usually single and lonely or in high school.

     Anyway, my colleagues discussed this for a while and then one of them asked the woman her criteria for a man. Her reply seemed reasonable to me, basically all the things essential to any relationship: trust, honesty, respect, humour, cake, and to eat the cake too (at least sometimes). It made me wonder, if most people know this stuff, why do so many relationships fail? I guess it’s because what we think and what we say is often quite different than what we do.

     But it’s what another woman in the group said that I remember the most. She explained that she knew her husband met all her criteria because of her Dad. She revealed that as a teen, her Dad took her on “dates” to model for her how a man should treat her. To me, that seems like an excellent way to teach healthy relationships.

     Everyone wants love, everyone is seeking a healthy, fulfilling relationship, right? It’s only natural, but as the saying goes, “Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, and then wonder what to do with it.”