You Know When...

You know when you've already mixed a few ingredients and then remember your Grandma's chocolate cupcake recipe requires a cup of coffee and you don’t drink coffee and the only way you've ever made coffee is with those one-step Keurig cup-thingies but after an extensive (man-eyes) search you realize you're out of those handy microplastics-laden pods so you make eye contact with your coffee machine which looks as though it's time-traveled from the future and also it's looking back at you all hostile (insert The Good and the Bad and the Ugly whistle here—stay with me, I'm going somewhere with this) and let's be honest, we all think we're smart until we have to use someone else's coffee-maker (or microwave) and to complicate things further, your coffee-loving spouse is out of the country and your recipe absolutely requires coffee because there's no substitute for the delicious alchemy of chocolate enhance by brewed coffee (again, thanks Grandma) and the indifferent internet says just go ahead and make cowboy coffee as if at some point in your past you've freelanced as a misfit horse-riding posse member hell-bent on revenge who just drinks off the top of the coffee cup and spits out the dregs and so whatever focus you're wasting time with your incessant pea-brain (borderline pathological self-amusing) inner brainstorming nonsense so stop being a dork and so you finally focus and get to fixin' some joe and grind some pantry coffee beans and then you discover coffee filters so you rustle up your own more refined version (not really) of cowboy coffee by scotch-taping the filter into your favourite mug and you wonder if cowboys had scotch tape and the indifferent internet says scotch tape was invented in 1930 well dogies suddenly there it is: your version of cowboy coffee and holy shit it kinda worked and as the cowboys say, what in the tarnation? And that, dear friends/ cowboys/ cowgirls/ cowfolk, is how you brew it.