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Sunday, March 9, 2025

Divorce, eh?

an apt depiction of two wonderful
countries who don't quite match,
 but do fit together source 
Divorce. It's an abstract concept, for me. Sure, family and friends in our circle are divorced but neither my spouse nor I grew up in a home with divorced parents. So when people ask, what does it feel like to be a Canadian right now, I imagine it's like divorce. 

Let's be honest, Canada was never legally married to the USA but we were in a pretty high-functioning common law relationship, a contract that both parties signed. Truth be told, we don't quite match, but we made it work, even enjoyed the relationship. Sure, we are clearly the beta in this couple and at times, you may have taken advantage of that (Canadian energy) but for the most part, we truly loved each other. Maybe we still do? But what's that cliché about relationships? Love is never enough. 

Turns out that's true. Canada never asked for this divorce, but it's happening. And here we are. One toxic partner continually makes demands. So we meet them, or try to, even when we all know some are bullshit (the fentanyl crisis at Canadian border). Our representatives (political leaders) negotiate, bend over backwards, and indeed make some changes. But it's not working....

Why? Despite a desire to remain partners in some form at least, one partner continually employs all the toxic relationship playbook classics: accuses us of cheating, makes unfair demands, belittles our representatives, limits contact, lies, plays the victim, gaslights, makes us feel unsafe, uses social media to demean and threaten us.... 

A relationship can't exist without trust, honesty, and respect, can it? Temporarily, perhaps. But eventually....

We're stronger than we were a few weeks ago. We're changing. We're more united (9/10 Canadians!) We're making new plans. Nevertheless, it's been a sad month. I really do mean that. But to use a clever line from that American culture once so beloved to us, "bye Trump Felicia." 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

29 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Let's hope Carney can defeat Polievre in the upcoming election.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

And hey DB, thanks for the comment you left me recently about Melanie Joly -- I agree with your estimation of her, so I made her my "Beautiful Woman of the Day" today over at my other blog:

https://bwotday.blogspot.com/2025/03/melanie-joly.html

David M. Gascoigne, said...

The relationship has changed forever, unfortunately.

Kathy G said...

"A relationship can't exist without trust, respect, and honesty, can it?" Not in my world.

jenny_o said...

Trump can't be trusted. I can see a return to the relationship once Trump is gone, IF the Republican party also changes. Otherwise, it's just too risky and damaging to have so much inter-dependence. It's going to leave some scars, though. This was a great analogy you drew.

Pixie said...

It's been an awful month. The only good thing trump has ever done, is to unite Canadians.

CheerfulMonk said...

I'm so sorry! A lot of us hate what happened and hope you do well. 😟❤️

CheerfulMonk said...

Appalled is a better word to describe how we feel.

Anvilcloud said...

What a brilliant metaphor. I hope this, somehow, gets published more widely because it is pretty brilliant.

Anonymous said...

Codex: I've seen this analogy when the UK brexited the EU, but this summarizes it well. He runs his public life the way he runs his private life. Canadians have a lot to be proud of and the unity is wonderful.

Anonymous said...

Codex: Thought you'd appreciate this if you haven't seen it yet.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8peiLVFsLdw&t=163s&pp=2AGjAZACAQ%3D%3D

Anonymous said...

Codex: Do you have a link to Trudeau’s speech?

Anonymous said...

Codex: I meant Chretien. Sorry for the multiples.

Shammickite said...

It's going to be a tough four years for a lot of people... on both sides of the border. I have lots of confidence in Carney, even though he hasn't been part of Canadian politics before.

DB Stewart said...

Love this.

DB Stewart said...

Fingers crossed.

DB Stewart said...

Those three pillars are indeed important but some relationships can be salvaged. Although currently broken, let's hope this is temporary.

DB Stewart said...

Scars? Yes indeed. It's definitely a wake-up call regarding interdependence.

DB Stewart said...

Well said. Like finding that one valuable thing at the dump that is his legacy.

DB Stewart said...

A Canadian always appreciates a sorry and yes, I hate this too.

DB Stewart said...

Thanks, AC.

DB Stewart said...

It will be tough and yes, fingers crossed.

DB Stewart said...

Here's the gist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2YnP_wTZLg

DB Stewart said...

Yes, what he's really skilled at is toxicity.

Tom said...

...Carney will make mincemeat out of Trump!

Bill said...

All trump is good for is creating chaos and he spreading it around the world.

Anonymous said...

Codex: Thought about this post all day. What's missing is that he's also a criminal. I think that the relationship that took decades to build won't be undone. Humans have always engaged in trade. Carney is highly respected world wide and in the finance sector you're lucky to have him. This is an aberration and people that have been complicit or scared. The world is in shock as I continue to be.

Marie Smith said...

Great analogy!

Christina said...

I like the analogy of a toxic relationship, difficult to get out of and recover from. Seeing Canadians unite is good and will make the country stronger. Strong enough to get through the next few years, I am sure of it.

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