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I need to vent.
First Wave
- Fear
- Toilet Paper
- Social Distancing
- Our government: let's fire people.
- Anxiety and confusion.
- We told our daughter not to visit us. *heart breaks*
- Visit relatives through windows.
- Celebrate health care heroes.
- Masks everywhere except on Facebook.
- Hunkering down & resilience.
- Government: let's keep everyone in suspense.
- Government: mixed messages are still messages, right? (Some MLAs resist restrictions).
- Government: we would prefer if more of you died.
- Perseverance
- Tick, tick, tick...
- EVERYONE STAY HOME AGAIN.
- CANCEL ALL PLANS (except politicians who have to go to Hawaii, and such).
- World Ending (January 6, 2021)
- Eat everything.
- Hunkering down & resilience.
- Celebrating health care heroes.
- Some churches can't remember the golden rule.
- Government: get vaccinated now.
- Government: let me be clear; Alberta will never have vaccine passports.
- 30% of Albertans begin doing "research."
- 70% of Albertans get vaccinated 12 minutes after they're eligible.
- Our premier takes a camera crew with him to go hug his mother.
- Government: get vaccinated now but we can't tell you if we are vaccinated or not.
Third Wave:
- In their "spare time," doctors pick up extra jobs being activists (to fill the void in government leadership).
- Fatigue.
- Hanging on.
- EVERYONE STAY HOME FOR TWO WEEKS.
- Infections and hospitalizations dramatically decrease.
- Government: But, rodeos!
- Government: "Open for summer; open for good" & "BEST SUMMER EVER." lol, facepalm
- Government: here's some money to get vaccinated (suck that, vaccine passports).
- Welcome relief (temporary).
- As summer continues, the predominant facial expression is side-eye.
Fourth Wave:
- Government: our non-plans for rising case numbers are data-based; also, let's make sure kids aren't protected this Fall.
- Where's the data?
- Government: [away-from-office auto-reply]
- Um, hello?
- Hello?
- SCREAMING INTO THE VOID.
- Doctors organize daily demonstrations begging for basic restrictions for children & other vulnerable people.
- Government: here's a video and see, it's not pre-recorded like the Christmas vacations ones were.
- Covidiots complete their covid-19 Facebook degrees.
- Covidiots begin protesting at hospitals.
- Government: we're fiscally responsible but here's more money for anti-vaxxers (suck it, people who already got vaccinated).
- Government: we still can't declare our own vaccinations statuses.
- Reporter: "But health minister, people are dying!"
- Government: "That's good feedback for us."
- WTF?
- Rage flame-throwing (aka writing yet another MLA letter).
- Government: here's a vaccine passport but we named it something else stupid and confusing.
- Next? Perhaps the military will be deployed to help save us from our government & covidiots?
- Rage wood-chipping.
- Hunkering down & resilience.
2 comments:
Hahahahahahaha, so well and accurately written! It's all flashing in front of my eyes again!
The situation is not hilarious at all but your rendering of it is - thanks for the (wry) smiles. My favourite was the all caps parts plus the "But, rodeos!" That's about the point in time where I started paying real close attention to Alberta's decisions. Before that, all I knew was that one of my closest cousins in AB called the pandemic a scamdemic and I stopped returning his calls/emails. I just couldn't deal with one more of his rants about how great the Conservative government is/was/would be.
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