Sunday, October 23, 2016


I have this theory. If someone makes toast for you, pay attention because that someone loves you.

Turns out I’m not so alone in this theory because I watched a documentary about an autistic young man seeking a girlfriend. According to him, the formula for a quality relationship partner is
1.       25% looks
2.       25% personality
3.       50% how well that potential partner treats you.

That stuck with me. I'm not a relationship expert but that seems 100% wise to me. Think about the people most important to you. How do they treat you?

I’ve heard that one’s eyes remain the same over an entire lifetime. According to various health sources, this is not true. Our eyes continue to grow from birth to adulthood, just a few millimeters. Yet, looking at old photographs it’s often the eyes that remain recognizable. It may seem impossible to find the baby in the old man but there’s always something about the eyes. Everything else though? It morphs, sometimes dramatically. Looks fade, sag, decline. And personality evolves too, at least some aspects. Maybe, eventually, treatment is nearly everything in relationships?

For example, outside the realm of romantic relationships where attraction and chemistry may be important, does it really matter what your friend looks like, at all? Maybe the friendship formula is 0% looks, 40% personality and 60% treatment? Whether you’d calculate this slightly differently or not, aren’t we all pretty much in agreement that treatment trumps everything else? Wouldn’t it be shallow to act otherwise?

How they treat you defines them. How you treat others defines you.” Rita Zahara


Debra She Who Seeks said...

I read somewhere that the reason our eyesight decreases so much as we age is so we can't see the wrinkles and grey hair of our beloved. Clearly modern optometry is now a leading cause of divorce. Ha ha, I kid.

Vinny C said...

Whatever the ratio, I fully agree the bulk of the relationship points should go to how well one person treats the other.

Also, I'm suddenly in the mood for toast.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I definitely think that how well one partner treats another is a important predictor of relationship success...

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