Wednesday, March 10, 2010


As we’ve all heard it said, “The way to a man’s heart is through his ribs.”

Although I’m not endorsing this method, it is indeed likely to get a man’s attention. But is it necessary to go this extreme? Or even as the more popular saying goes, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” That also sounds painful to me, unless of course, homemade pizza is involved.

Joking aside, these sayings make me wonder. Why do some women find it difficult to capture a man’s heart or even his attentions once the heart has been captured? Are men that difficult to get close to?

Short answer: no. Most guys like girls.

Long answer: no. Most guys like girls and are very willing to share their minds and bodies and even their hearts with the right woman, but I also believe that we men have a fleeting attention span and it’s difficult for us to concentrate if
a. the TV is on.
b. we are doing something else we want to do.

(Is this, however, really that different from women? If a woman is on the phone or having a bath, she does not want to be disturbed.)

We all get distracted from each other. We all get confused signals and mixed messages. We all try to use shortcuts to get what we want from each other. Essentially though, the way to anyone’s heart, male or female is simple: respect.

This involves several verbs. Listen. Forgive. Seek. Honour. Support. Appreciate. Trust. Compliment. Love. Order pizza. Send the kids to a movie. Shut the TV off. Talk.


Chelle said...

I have had two major relationships. They have been complete, polar opposites of each other.

It might be easy for some people to write off your rules as simplistic, idealistic and just romantic. But they are not. The lack of these basic principles cause us to behave like animals toward each other and the little seeds of hate and anger to root below the surface of our skin and around our hearts. I thought everyone was as wounded as I was in my first marriage.

In my second relationship, I've found that this is not the case. I can be with someone who is my biggest fan, who is my best friend and be happy about it. I'm slowly learning to trust that it's not all going to crumble and fall and that I can put down all of the safety wall building materials I've been carrying. That I have someone who I can be vulnerable with. That is huge.

These rules are so important.

dbs said...

Chelle--I'm glad you found exactly what you deserve. I'm glad I did too.

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