Let's be honest:

A good friend's husband died earlier this month, an absolute blindside.
Still thinking about these wise words: painful, hopeful, honest.
Also thinking about others I'm missing. No doubt, you too?
For whatever might be ailing you today, I hope these words find you. 

Fullness

P 💞 L 

Weeks ago, I intended to write about our January holiday to Mexico, but life interrupted things. 

Travel makes me grateful and reflective but I need time to process all that discovery and restorative-ness. 

This trip we traveled with our daughter, her husband, his parents and our grandchildren. Imagine. 

There are stories to tell about French fries and puffer fish and a margarita stand, but mostly there was precious time to play with our favourite grandtoddlers, 3 year-old M and 1 year-old L. And although there are many impressive photos of the beach and sunsets and an excursion to a tiny island and a burrito bigger than a birthday cake, I keep returning to pictures of my daughter with her children, and this one with her young son. 

It's impossible to accurately describe the feeling of watching your children be parents to their own children: it's joy, it's pride, it's time-travel, it's nostalgia, it's laughter, it's longing, it's...peace...it's a fullness...(it's fleeting and forever) and I wish it for everyone. 

Would I steer you wrong?

I suspect I'm not the only highland steer who
feels that reading the daily news requires horns.

Nope. 😜

Happy Robbie Burns Day, dear friends. This charming artwork hangs in my son's bathroom and it makes me smile every time. 

For supper tonight I made my version of Scotch Broth, a hearty pearl barley soup with turnips, onions, and carrots. For Christmas, I gifted myself The Scottish Cookbook (by Coinneach MacLeod, the Hebridean Baker) so I'm hoping to expand my Scottish cooking beyond soup, shortbread, and scones. One more thing: although I'm not much of a drinker, I do have a favourite Scotch, Dalwhinnie. It's warm and sweet like caramel, but a bit spicy with a hint of smoke too. 

Whether you celebrate or not, Lang may yer lum reek. Slàinte mhath!

Abc?

I love the way text structures are evolving and new genres are emerging in the book world. 

Thanks to NGS, I read Alphabetical Diaries by Sheila Heti (c) 2024, a great example of this evolution. 

In alphabetical order, each chapter features highlights from the author's journal curated into a narrative both disassembled and threaded in curious ways. With all due respect, it's a bit ADHD yet (surprisingly) each sentence, like jigsaw puzzle pieces, eventually connects elsewhere, establishing character, plot, and themes I think many women would relate to. It's also a narrative about being a writer and that's the aspect I most connected with. 

Inspired, I searched my 2024 iPhone journal and chose these entries from A to Zed. 

Is it too random, or can you infer connections?

Almost 9 and everyone's still sleeping except us. Babies have surgery. Cried through the last chapter. Dreamed I was in a drawing class with Lynn who died in 2020. Edmonton Oilers kicking ass. Funeral today and I will always regret not being there. Grandkids arrive tomorrow! Happy New Day. I have the Lego bride and groom ready! Jesus, where is my passport? Keep imagining Sisyphus happy. Love my daughter's haircut; hate her boss. Maybe don't listen to your unreliable inner narrator? Not impressed with the Connections puzzle today. Our tongues are not normal, son. Pita Pizzas, yum. Quiet, soft, floating snow. Ready for this day with you. She told me she's afraid of the 'Backson' from Winnie the Pooh. Trying to draw different types of owls and texting grandturkey pics with my childhood friend: priceless. Unscrupulous people gonna unscrup-you/us. Very uncomfortable watching these election results. World is so fucked up, but I bet if someone started playing, "you are my sunshine" on a subway, everyone would sing along. X-ray results good! You must not forget that time a random baby waved at you in the grocery store. Zone of Interest (and its compelling use of sound) gripped me and begged me not to deaden myself to the world. 

Nows

That forest-canopy feeling should be 
experienced every once in a now.

From a conversation I had today...

Her face puzzled, she asked, "don't you mean once in a while?"

Curious, I replied, "what did I say?"

"You said once in a now." 

I smiled, "that's actually better. Why wait?"

Sometimes malapropisms improve on the original. And then later today, while walking, I remembered something poet-marvel Emily Dickinson wrote: "forever is composed of nows." 

Wise words, indeed.  

So friends, what might you stop waiting for and enjoy every once in a now? 

Things that deserve the stink-eye

 

via GIPHY (the sign for idiot)

Oh, today's news. The incoming US Liar-in-Chief continues to muse about annexing Canada...hence the sign above. (Insert eye roll here.)

Historians may know that Americans tried this once before: the War of 1812. And yes, some argue this war was just a leveraging technique against Britain. Considering US history, that's understandable. But the outcome? Pretty much nothing, although the Canadians (technically referred to as British loyalists at that time), burned The White House in retaliation for US troops burning a portion of York (present-day Toronto). Oh, and there was an unintended outcome: it galvanized those British Loyalists and helped forge a Canadian identity. (Insert maple leaf here.)

Is today's news another leveraging technique? Probably...but this time more for his amusement, I guess? Something else he obviously doesn't understand or care about: since the 1800s, US & Canadian citizens have shared a border with no major conflicts, whatsoever. We've been friends for centuries, supporting each other in world conflicts. Remember 911? To me, that's more important than today's anti-democratic pissing-contest nonsense, likely to be continued for the next four years ad nauseum. Sigh. Dear US friends, hang in there. 

Also, GARDYLOO.

New Year? New Mantra?

source

As the Scots say, Happy Hogmanay, aka Happy New Year!

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you may know most of my ancestors belong to the Canadian arm of the Scottish diaspora, and thanks to my immigrant great-grandparents, I love all things Scottish, especially the accent and in particular, the slang. As we all peek (with trepidation) around the corner into 2025, I am reminded of one of my favourite Scottish words (and the historical custom it inspired): GARDYLOO!

Apparently once a law in Edinburgh, this Scots term was used as "a warning cry before throwing a bucket of dirty water from a window into the street." Pre-plumbing, y'all can imagine what was in that bucket:💩. 

Of course there is much I'm anticipating in 2025 (birthdays, projects, travel, reunions, etc), but we all know "shit's going down" next year and if humour is your coping method, may I suggest you cry in the shower if necessary, BUT ALSO ENJOY RANDOMLY YELLING GARDYLOO AS NEEDED (and remember you are not alone.) 

Happy "Gardyloo" year, dear friends. 

Fave Reads 2024

I couldn't put it down.
I am still talking
to anyone and
everyone about it.
Whether you're 
familiar with Jim 
from Huck Finn,
or not, knowing
James will change
you. Everett's
newest novel is
thoroughly
engaging,
compelling and a
deeply important
lesson in perspective.

All my life I've leaned on books. I trust them. Therapy's great too, but books more than suffice. 

This year, I aimed to read mostly memoirs and piggyback off the perseverance of others. Survivor stories boosted my grit, but nonfiction steered me to fiction too. Two fiction titles became all time favourites: James & The Nickel Boys. Likely soon to be/already banned from schools and libraries by idiots, I encourage you to read them in 2025. 

I cried through
the last chapter.
Reminded me
of Canada's
residential schools
history, and how
systemic anti-Black
racism continues to 
reverberate. Illustrates
oppression & 
depression so so 
accurately. 
It made me wonder
how MLK Jr. would
respond to Elwood's
plight and resolve.
I can't wait to
see the film.

Genre-defying. Is it 
horror? Mystery? 
Magic Realism?
Talk about an 
unreliable narrator.
It's cryptic, and
unsettling, but if 
you've ever felt
woefully obligated
and overwhelmed
by other's privileged
expectations,
narcissism, or
ridiculous needs,
you might recognize
this anti-hero.

It's been on my list
since it won Canada
Reads in 2019. 
At first, it's not much
different than many
other gripping
holocaust survivor
horror-memoirs,
but eventually,
Eisen was dumped
in a hospital
and what happens
there underscores
both injustice
and resistance in 
surprising ways. 

Doesn't everyone
periodically hide
in the room where all
the coats are at a 
party? Or perhaps 
the bathroom at work?
Got social anxiety?
Are you an introvert
(or love one)?
This graphic self-
help book (?) is
like deep breathing
after much laughter.
Joe Pera, a
comedian unlike
any other I've
witnessed, brings the
awkward to every
situation, and makes
me laugh out loud. 

And just one more:
plucky Matilda.
I hope you're familiar
with Harry Style's song
Matilda. Dedicated
to truly seeing,
acknowledging,
and respecting a
friend's childhood
trauma, this warm
song invites healing
and so does this
book, as it models
to readers that you
"don't have to be
sorry for leaving"
your toxic family
and making a 
better one for 
yourself. 

Look Closely

Absolutely love kids' drawings...
look closely to read this artist's message.

"Look closely at the present you are constructing; it should look like the future you are dreaming."          ~Alice Walker

A happy Christmas to you and yours. 

Things that deserve the stink-eye:

Let's be honest, learning to spell is hard, but adorable, and perhaps unintentionally awkward? Ask any seven year old, especially this one who has a good grasp of the letter sounds, if not technical clarity. A+ for phonics, 'not yet meeting' for orthography. :)

This young writer responded to the sentence stem, "Peace is...." 

Do you, ahem, agree with her? Or how would you complete the sentence? 

Oh, and peace be cwit you, ha.

(If you're struggling to solve this, unscramble these letters: etqui.)