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| Sometimes random revitalizes. |
A couple of years ago, this postcard arrived in my post office mailbox, anonymously. Postcards like these were created by local students and distributed randomly to help launch a men's mental-health campaign, still ongoing. It's still tacked to my office wall. I like it there.
At that time, I was experiencing some physical and mental health problems that I didn't want to be public about...didn't want to trouble anyone with...and although my situation was not dire, this postcard found me just when I needed it, just when I felt most alone. I re-read it every single day. I also sought support. Many men don't.
Last Hogmanay, my new years mantra was an attempt to shake my fist at the oncoming cultural shitstorm (and it was), but this year...? The forecast continues to be shitstorm, but fingers crossed for less fist-shaking and more hand-extending. Dear friends, if you need help, don't wait for a postcard. Consider this random internet guy the messenger you (perhaps) needed today.
...fingers crossed for less fist-shaking and more hand-extending, amen to that!
ReplyDeleteInsert fist-bump here.
DeleteGood on you for getting help, my husband refuses to get any help. He has a lot of anger/sadness that needs to be addressed but no, he'd rather just stuff it down where it can regularly leak out. Now I tell him that this is his stuff that he needs to deal with, not my stuff and not Jack's stuff. He hasn't changed but I have.
ReplyDeleteOne of my biggest epiphanies was when my ex husband and I sold our home and I was very angrily cleaning it, I came to the realization that I wasn't angry, I was so sad. Grief and sadness still drag me down at times, but I'm learning to understand it better and recognize it too. Jack's course this past fall also help me realize how important it is to name emotions, and to let them pass. Sadly, so many of my big emotions feel more like a tornado than something that will just pass without too much damage. I'm learning:)
This is a very long way of saying I'm so glad you chose help and it helped.
That ended up being more that I thought, but there it is.
Thank you for sharing this. Yes, I too believe sadness is often at the core. Many men struggle to seek help but it can take time. Your honest and raw words are like ripples or echoes... as you learn, as you help Jack, as you sort and sift through your own life and struggles, no doubt you help your partner too, just as you help us readers.
DeleteThis a sincere, helpful and thoughtful post.
ReplyDeleteThank you, AC. I hope so.
DeleteAn important message, backed up by your good example! Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteComing from one of my favourite examples, that means a lot!
DeleteAdmitting we need help is the first hurdle. Getting some, the second! I applaud anyone who recognizes and acts ... as too many do not.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have figured out that we really are each other's therapist. It's not easy to admit you need help, man or woman. My biggest hurdle, should I choose to seek therapy that *isn't* my husband is that I can't trust anyone with my tears. Weird, huh?
ReplyDeleteThe postcard would have cheered me up, too.
Not weird at all.
DeleteMen seeking help are considered weak. I think it makes them strong. Have a great 2026, my friend.
ReplyDeleteMe too. Insert fist bump here.
DeleteI'm so glad that card came to you just when you needed it. I'm sending you lots of aloha from Hawaii. Have a happy and healthy 2026. You deserve it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the aloha. Kindness.
DeleteGood advice. What a gift that postcard was.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteIt's still a gift.
DeleteCodex: Glad you're here, my friend.
ReplyDeleteGlad to be here. You too.
DeleteWhat a lovely reminder that help can come in unexpected ways. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the unexpected is the best kind of expected.
DeleteThank you for this message, it's easy to think that help isn't needed when it really is. That postcard was received at the right time.
ReplyDeleteYes, sometimes, the (over/under) thinking interferes.
DeleteWell done, a very inspiring post.............
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteLovely post. My SIL died in 2021, and she and my husband had a complicated relationship. He really struggled, and bottled up his grief, and got angry, and thankfully got therapy. It really helped him, and helped him with frustrations and other things in life. Our relationship has been much better since then.
ReplyDeleteI’m glad that the postcard found you and helped you, and that people do these things.
I'm glad people do these things too.
Delete