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One June I discovered them. About nine feet high, our deck looks out over our backyard, more of a balcony. Walking along the deck to our back door, I was startled by a robin that flew from what seemed like directly under me. Looking downward through the narrow gaps in the floorboards, I glimpsed movement. Startled, there were three newly hatched, featherless, and blind baby robins in a nest just centimeters from my feet, their mouths open, silent.
Anyone arriving at our back door would be unaware their feet walked over a nest. It made sense to be excited by this discovery, by this intimate window into nature, but those three robins troubled me.
Master nest builders for millennia before me, who am I to question the bird's nest, its design, its location, its anything? But there was a better choice. That fragile, hidden nest rattled me: why would a bird construct a nest it should know is unsafe? What prompted this mistake? Were resources scarce? Did some other danger prevent the bird from choosing a better location? Or was this something I couldn't fathom? Whatever the reason, I couldn't shake my doubt for those birds' safety.
That feeling is the feeling I'm feeling: confusion and an unsettledness. And that nest is the current state of the world.
I don't want to sound irrational. All over the world, (despite the news), parties continue to be planned, pregnancies are announced, concerts continue...plus, at the moment, my own little nest seems secure: we're healthy, we're finding meaning in new work, we're preparing for Christmas and a holiday, we're reading compelling books, savoring chocolate, playing Dutch Blitz and laughing with dear friends, and enjoying our grandchildren and yet... there's something else in the ellipses... something like those birds once under my deck.
I don't aim to ruminate, or dampen spirits...but those birds...it feels like we're those birds.... One day they were gone: did they survive?
Perhaps though, there is another perspective to consider? Robins don't exist if they don't take risks. Nor do we. Why continue building a shaky nest? Because the risk is worth it, friends. Perhaps that's a lesson to live by in this shaky world. Whatever risks we face, we face them until one day we can, hopefully, fly away and build anew, more sturdy than now.
15 comments:
I'm afraid I'm confused. What are you suggesting we do? My husband and I are are in the Silent Generation, so even though we're concerned about the state of the world, there isn't much we can do about it except continue living our values as best we can. Keep focusing on what is within our power to do and not panic about the things we have no control over. What are your thoughts?
Like the robins we proceed as best we can, but unlike those robins, it seems that we could make better choices. I note in passing, that they are called American robins. :)
Continuing more prosaically, I am reminded that we once had a robin nest in a flowerpot about 6 feet from a patio door. Then there was a robin who would fly into our kitchen window for hours at as time.
I share your unease about the shaky nest in which we find ourselves. We’re the baby birds, because we did not build this nest, and yet we have to find a way to survive and even thrive in it. May our wings grow strong together.
Codex: I'll likely be back. *clap* to another dbs analogy. Years ago an artist had painted brueghels blind leading the blind but depicted baby chick's. That is the feeling I have now and the shared unease. I've been trying to find that image ever since.
It's not irrational. Something is wrong and the positive outlook I have had my whole life is chipping. The first time around I could find the humor. This time I cannot and friends of ours across the globe share the anxiety.
Or are we manipulated into group think? I no longer know. The other day I watched the Nobel minds and was surprised at their concerns regarding AI. Shared apprehension.
Codex:...like I said. I meant been trying to find the poster. The artist is nick bantock.
Avians aren't called bird brains for nothing. I suspect that you hadn't used your balcony for such a long time Mama bird assumed it was safe.
Thank you for commenting. I'm confused too. I'm not suggesting you do anything; I'm trying to express how I feel. We're not alone in our concern about the state of the world. Like me, I suspect you are already doing everything you can by continuing to live your values. That's a great way to put it. I'm Gen X and we are too, for now. I say for now because it may be necessary to do more in the future as this oligarchy envelops the US government. Again, thank you for commenting.
Exactly, AC. Yes, perhaps robins really are bird-brains.
Lovely way to say it, 37. Yes, stronger together.
Googling that image now, Codex. Thank you for sharing this apprehension with me.
Yes, in one draft of this I wrote, "Is it because of their tiny bird brains?" but I want to be in some sort of a respectful communion with those who will be directly affected by choosing this nest, if you know what I mean? Good point about my balcony, but it's used as our back entrance many times daily. Sigh.
Codex: Sorry. That was autocorrect. The artist is Nick Bantock. (Canuck). The image is in his book griffin and Sabine. I wanted to buy a poster and hang it in the hallway for the folks who visit, see my library and ask me if I
read them all.... He is exceptionally talented, very interesting. Almost photorealism in his pencil drawings. Surrealistic in many of his paintings. (I correct twice and autocorrect reinserts).
The last paragraph is a bit confusing. I only mention it because the post is so accurate otherwise and thought provoking.
Some members of a species thrive others don't. I imagine that being a bird socks.
Omg. Sucks not socks.
I agree about that last paragraph. As I mentioned, I've been attempting to gather the words for a month. What I think I'm aiming for is hope? So many people are apprehensive but a shaky nest might still suffice as a temporary/interim home? And when I consider history, the world has survived corrupt regimes many times thanks to risk-taking, perseverance, ingenuity, and yes, even luck.
Boy do I feel this. Being American making it worse. If I could run I'd run. I'm confused, scared, uneasy and it's all a bad feeling. Why can't I make it go away this time? Why does it linger? I have had premonitions my whole life. The first time as a child and it scared me. I don't like this feeling.
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