Friday, August 5, 2011

Helen

Look who's baaaaack.

Yet something seems different. Helen's changed. She's been deadheaded. And she's trimmer too, likely due to the equivalent of the The Kidnapping Diet® (similar to the Survivor Diet but without mudwrestling-type challenges). She clearly looks healthier but it's more than her physical transformation. She seems more...contrite. After enduring her harrowing plantknapping, I hope that humbled Helen will finally show some gratitude for the life we've provided for her here with us.

Now all we need is for someone to kidnap our teenagers so they too will undergo this transformation and thus appreciate their wonderful parents.

Oh I'm just joshing of course!

But maybe next time the plantknappers need two uh, babysitters they might consider hiring our teens and just drive onto our lawn, storm our house while wearing balaclavas and uh, throw them in the back of their jeep? Just an idea.

13 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Gawd, there's not enough money in the world to make kidnapping teenagers an attractive idea.

Windsmoke. said...

Something shifty is going on here because Helen looks "brand new". Kidnapping teenagers is not worth the trouble or effort :-).

Alittlesprite said...

You want your teenagers "deadheaded" to?
EEP!

Ryan said...

I have two toddlers, no need to kidnap them as I'm willing to give them away!!!

Shockgrubz said...

Balaclavas interest me greatly.

Vinny C said...

Thank goodness Helen got back alright. My Purple Shamrock plant's been on edge ever since she heard the news of the plantknapping.

Antares Cryptos said...

Helen looks like she's been to a spa.

dbs said...

@DSWS So true.
@Windsmoke She does look different and yes, you are right.
@sprite Yes. I would like to rewire their frontal lobes. Just sayin.
@Ryan Tradeja.
@Shockgrubz Standard ware here for 8 months of the year.
@VinnyC I suspect Helen tweeted Purpleshamrock. Such a drama queen.
@AC I completely agree. It's suspish.

karensomethingorother said...

I see I've missed out on most of this caper whilst away. The best part, of course, is the plant's name.

Cheeseboy said...

Helen looks terrific. She must be working out.

Nubian said...

Helen has a glow about her. Are you sure she was really plantknapped? I think she ran off to have an illicit weekend with Mr. MiracleGro.

Alistair said...

She certainly seems in the pink and no worse for her ordeal!!!

Elly Lou said...

I think you should ukeknap in revenge. Then record a video. STAT.

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