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Saturday, January 15, 2011

Wordfuse

procrastiknave (noun): procrastinator + knave = the tricky enabler in our lives who grants us permission, perhaps even encourages us to defer, postpone, or play hooky from something important that we should be otherwise doing. This person's intentions could be straightforward or duplicitous. For example, the procrastiknave might actually have good intentions (unlikely) or attempt to exploit our general weaknesses and inability to concentrate by using any of the following remarks: 

  • "Don't work so hard." 
  • "You look stressed. I'm sure you'd feel better if you took a break and got some exercise by shoveling the snow in the driveway."
  • *yells from the other room* "I'm naked!" (Yup, this is wishful thinking; sadly, spouses/partners are rarely long-term procrastiknaves.)

Most frequently, we ourselves act as our own personal procrastiknaves. These little buggers live inside the right hemisphere of the human brain, aka the side stimulated by things that sparkle or a really good song or even an appalling rerun of Toddlers & Tiaras. Yup, I suspect the entire internet was created by procrastiknaves. My inner procrastiknave has kept me busy ALL afternoon making wordfuses, watching MadTV and playing with one of these. 


*One might refer to those who do not realize they are being manipulated by a procrastiknave as "procrastinaive."
Posted by DB Stewart at 4:16 PM
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23 comments:

  1. Jon HansonJanuary 15, 2011 at 4:24 PM

    I get struck by the procrastiknave far too often. For instance to do list today had a ton of items but it's been completely pushed to tomorrow. That's why there are two days in a weekend right?

    SD
    http://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/

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  2. AlistairJanuary 15, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    If you have a predisposition for this would it be your procastinature???

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  3. Artist and GeekJanuary 15, 2011 at 5:01 PM

    :) "entire internet" so true.
    You, dbs are a procrastiknaveinducer. Cause now you reminded me that I haven't played with my wooden model for a while.

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  4. AlittlespriteJanuary 15, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    My husband is one of these, although I am the one who yells out "I'm Naked!". Strangly enough he never objects.

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  5. ChelleJanuary 15, 2011 at 8:02 PM

    The internet is a procrastiknave. For real, try asking twitter if you should (insert fun activity) instead of (shores, work activity).

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  6. Mrs4444January 15, 2011 at 8:41 PM

    This is awesome. I definitely have a procrastiknave that lives beneath my desk at work. I hate it--I get nothing accomplished until 3:15! grrrr

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  7. Nicole Leigh ShawJanuary 15, 2011 at 9:24 PM

    I love that you threw "procrastinaive" in there at the end.

    The Hubster and I take turns playing the procrastiknave. We are never the procrastinaive. Purposeful derailment of each others productivity. Yep, like a good sporting match.

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  8. UnknownJanuary 15, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    I must make a confession... I am a procrastiknave. My lovely wife tries to get so much done, and it is me who says, "Oh, it can wait until tomorrow can't it?" Now that I've admitted to it I'll go sit in my corner. I'm really sorry.

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  9. Debra She Who SeeksJanuary 15, 2011 at 10:00 PM

    Great portmanteau word!

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  10. UnknownJanuary 15, 2011 at 11:15 PM

    As a fellow procrastiknave, I object to you referring to our intentions as unlikely to be good. My intentions are always good - I will stop you doing something that makes you unhappy and go and get you drunk.

    Really, everybody is better off...

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  11. baygirl32January 16, 2011 at 8:38 AM

    I can't wait for your dictionary to reach a store near me (love it)

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  12. Didactic PirateJanuary 16, 2011 at 10:12 AM

    Facebook? Twitter? Both invented by procrastiknaves.

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  13. DB StewartJanuary 16, 2011 at 12:07 PM

    @SD Works for me.
    @Alistair Smart. Good one.
    @A&G Damn Ikea.
    @alittlesprite Ha!
    @Chelle Good example. I'm afraid to try that.
    @Mrs4444 Yes, I frequently find them at work too.
    @Nicole It sounds like a good system.
    @paulsifer42 Naughtychair!
    @DSWS Thank you.
    @Sarah Walton Ha! I like it.
    @baygirl32 Sounds sweet to me. Thank you for saying that.
    @DP Most def.

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  14. MissyJanuary 16, 2011 at 1:11 PM

    I am thinking this is actually a medical condition!!!!

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  15. DB StewartJanuary 16, 2011 at 1:18 PM

    @Missy Ha! You might be right.

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  16. DreamerJanuary 16, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    Ha ha. I used to be procrastinaive. My ex, the procrastiknave:
    "Pssshhh college? Just stay in bed and get stoned with me..."

    If I do ever speak to him again, Stoner Procrastiknave will be his name. Thanks, this has made me feel very good.

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  17. DB StewartJanuary 16, 2011 at 3:14 PM

    @Dreamer I'm glad.

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  18. Mrs. TunaJanuary 16, 2011 at 4:54 PM

    I am definetly dilly dallying on doing my first reading assignment but surfing blogs.

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  19. Artist and GeekJanuary 16, 2011 at 5:14 PM

    dbs-clever.

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  20. wendyJanuary 16, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    I think I need to get a note pad and write all these down.
    perhaps later....(tee,hee)

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  21. Sally - My Custard PieJanuary 16, 2011 at 8:04 PM

    You've cracked it! The entire internet is all down to procrastinknaves.

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  22. Kev D.January 17, 2011 at 10:25 AM

    I think my wife is the rare long termer...

    And I of course, act as her SUPREME PROCRASTIKNAVE.

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  23. DB StewartJanuary 17, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    @MrsTuna Get back to work. I read your blog about how much you have to accomplish. Stay focused.
    @wendy Clever.
    @Sally I believe so.
    @KevD Lucky man.

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