Saturday, November 8, 2014

Dear random people from today,

1. Um, hey stranger Dude. I walked by your house today and you were standing on your front step in only your housecoat and I just wanted to say kudos for smoking outdoors because I suspect you have a wife and kids and honestly they don't need that shit but I also have to say it was a little awkward because after I realized you were wearing surprisingly little clothing outdoors on a day when it was -10 C, I could not decide if it would be appropriate to wave and so I decided to pretend I didn't see you although we both know I did. Anyway, once again, um, kudos.

2. Uh, to the driver in the sporty black car that made a 360 on the icy snowy road in front of me, I want you to know that even though I was walking a short distance away you did not frighten me. Nor did I laugh at you. Truthfully, I wanted to yell WooHoo(!) but I didn't because well, let's face it, even though your behaviour was entertaining it wasn't exactly intentional like some Evel Knievel style made-for-television stunting event. This became abundantly clear when you finally skidded to a stop facing the opposite direction from whence you seemed intent on turning and yet decided to go in that direction instead. Nice recovery.

"I think there's just one kind of folks. Folks." ~Harper Lee

8 comments:

Al Penwasser said...

Below freezing??? Okay, no complaint from me over having to wear a windbreaker to rake the leaves.

E. Angelina said...

I wish we had thinking balloons over our head, like they do in comics.
Under dressed smoking dude's would say, "Freezing my stuff off, hey what's that guy doing walking out at this time? Maybe if I puff harder he won't see me." Evel Knievel would say, "Yup, I I have winter tires, I did this on purpose, because I am cool like that!"

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hello, Winter, my old friend.

Chicken said...

Ha. I write letters like this in my head every day. Not gonna lie, sometimes they start out with "What the heck are you thinking?", but sometimes they are more kind than tha.

Jim said...

Yes I have heard that winter has arrived in your fair province! Some people are in denial I guess.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Dude, belt that robe a little tighter, it's nippy outside.

Pickleope Von Pickleope said...

That's some dedication to a truly crappy habit if you're going outside in nothing but a robe. Maybe he is so dissatisfied with his love life that he's hoping for frostbite to settle it on his dangly bits. But that would be speculation and I'm not one for speculating.

Vinny C said...

Of course, the stunt driver went back home after the 360 spin. When your life flashes before your eyes, one of the first things you see are all your regrets & wish you could make them right... then you notice is how many of those regrets involve not getting more sleep.

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