Monday, February 3, 2014
Sometimes I replay conversations in my head again and again until I have punched so many pencil holes in so many paper chains of questions and banter and ideas and exchanges that I can't tape it all back together anymore.
Sometimes I find tape and scissors and reassemble it all again anyway because sometimes the only way to cope is to put the untogether together again tighter, stronger, better. Sometimes this whole process inspires in me a grind and a grit I find exhilarating. Sometimes I get so lost in reflection I realize maybe I wasn't lost at all but instead breaking new ground.
Sometimes I forget that if confidence were on a graph and we were all on that graph it would always be more peaks and valleys than skimming along strong horizon lines.
Sometimes I ruminate and sometimes I am too hard on myself yet sometimes I suspect I am oblivious to all of this. Sometimes I might even seem arrogant, yet most-times too self-deprecating, but either way, flawed and I am okay with that because perfection is boring.
Sometimes I think people are thinking about me and my mistakes and I am amazed at my ego because they really aren't because why would they be?
Sometimes I forget that without struggle there is no progress.
Sometimes I need to shut off and shut up.
Sometimes we make ourselves miserable and sometimes we make ourselves strong and we should just decide where to put our energies.