Friday, February 1, 2013

Pigs Flying? Sure.

Grumpy Pig
Everyone always talks about January. Sooooooooooo long. Sooooooooo depressing. Soooooooo cold. Soooooooooo dark. But I say, what about February?!

It’s sooooooo short but the days get longer thus it’s completely confusing. There’s more light to interrupt sleep. There’s Valentines Day and all the pressure associated with that. Depressing. And chocolate. And flowers. Those are imported from other countries and that leaves a serious carbon footprint. And people get engaged. And married. And we all know how that turns out. And the groundhogs. Don’t get me started on the rodents. Do the lemmings get their own day? No. And that is probably why they jump off cliffs.

And another thing: this year there’s no February 29. Total rip-off. We should get to make up an extra day every year. Just one. Every. Single Year. Is that too much to ask? I’m thinking work would be optional of course. And we wouldn’t age. And on that extra day we could eat everything we want without consequences. And well, that reminds me of other things that are never going to happen:

1.      Pigs flying.

I’m tired of that. Such and such and such when pigs fly. What?! Of course this expression isn’t intended literally but considering the groundhog thing, if there were any possibility of pigs flying it would definitely happen in February. Think about it. But there’s this problem too: it would likely happen on February 30, maybe the 31st. Not too likely then is it? So frustrating.

Problems eh? Problems all the time. Problems. Problems. Problems...

(Pssssst grumpy’s a message for you from someone who says it much better than I: “Be careful how you interpret the world: it's like that.” ~Erich Heller)


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hooray! Grumpy Cat has a new Grumpy Pig friend! And I agree with you about February -- so short and yet soooooooooo long.

Laoch of Chicago said...

Pigs do not fly? Disappointing!

Antares Cryptos said...

Is that what a dbs rant looks like?

Alistair Robertson said...

Who's a wee grump then?

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