Tuesday, February 12, 2013

One for you.

R.I.P.
Promise me you’ll never forget me because if I thought you would I’d never leave.” ~A.A. Milne

Someone suggested to me recently that memories are like any of our senses: we can taste them, smell them, see them, hear them, and of course, we can feel them. This is intriguing to me because I tend to think of memories in the past, something I can time-travel to watch from a slight distance. But maybe though, maybe memory is something we can truly re-inhabit like any sensory experience happening in the now?  Maybe I could crawl inside a memory like wading into a summer lake until the cold freshness of it covers my head.

For me, it was a beauty of a thought. Maybe memories aren’t quite as real as reality but it doesn’t mean they’re not real. They’re real. They can still cause goose-bumps. Tonight I’m conjuring memories. I need some right now. And in this moment, these memories feel as real to me as the sunrise this morning:


1. A dirt-bike ride on a dusty summer road.
2. Sitting on the back of a skidoo watching a white rabbit hop through the trees.
3. Standing with my brothers on a snowpile in our snowsuits.
4. A Black Ford truck with red velvet curtains.
5. A little girl with big fluffy curls sitting on the floor waiting for her Dad to hand her another present.
6. A fawn in my proud brother’s arms.
7. Watching my brother watch a smash-up derby.
8. One word uttered with a sort-of tired and teasing declaration: “Idiot.”
9. A little dog named Sophie waiting at the door for him to return.
10. 

I left the last one blank for you. I hope you take a moment and inhabit one of your favourite memories. Don’t wait. Do it now. Because, as we all know, moments disappear much too suddenly, so suddenly they can break a guy's heart. Still though, isn’t it grand that some things that happen in life never quite unhappen? For that, at least, I am thankful.

20 comments:

Homemaker Man said...

My best friend and I screwing around recording things on my boom box when we were 8, him capturing a live fart, and us listening and laughing over and over again like he should've won the Mark Twain prize for humor.

dbs said...

@HM Love it man.

neal call said...

You're right, we don't think about the substance, the reality of memories very much. I mean, sure, think about a lemon and you might start salivating, but that's usually the extent of we think memories can be real, elicit "real" responses in us.

Some really do fade, disappear. But I suppose that if we make efforts to re-imagine our favorites on a routine basis, some we can retain forever, re-live forever, instead of just having them replaced with new, trivial memories.

I'm thinking about the day my daughter was born. I'll be really disappointed in myself if I take that day for granted and I lose it some day in the future because I haven't revisited it enough.

Paul McCormick said...

Singing my favorite song to a little wide eyed girl seeing the world for her first time.

And this post reminded me of "The Giver", especially when you said you needed a memory. They give so much comfort sometimes.

Mel said...

Bless your heart sweet friend. Those memories are real and can never un-happen, live there for a while. Hugs.

Vinny C said...

I stared at that empty number ten spot for a while & realized I couldn't think of a memory to fill it. Not that I don't have any good ones to fill it. I know I do. Maybe it's because I've blocked out so much in recent years that I locked away the good along with the bad. Or maybe I'm just tired. Just got off a long weekend & this is my Monday.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hugs to you, dbs.

loonysuse said...

I was ten and my little brother was six and we went for a really long bike ride while we were on vacation. I got totally lost and turned around, but my little brother Geoff found our way back. He still has an awesome sense of direction, and I still don't.

Antares Cryptos said...

So sorry for your loss, my condolences to you and your family.

To do: Write list of best memories. Better yet, illustrate them.

Bill G said...

10. My memory is of a good natured teasing followed by a unique nickname...always followed with a contageous giggle. I'd give anything to hear that laugh just one more time. Rest in Peace, tough Donny.

Hugs to you & your family.

Alistair Robertson said...

Thing that happen in life don't unhappen.

and for the good things that's perfect.

A beaut of a post dbs. An absolute beaut.

Cheers.

loonysuse said...

I'm sorry for your loss, and sorry it took me two visits to understand.

The Defiant Marshmallow said...

Brother, I don't know what to say, but I'm very sorry.

10. My brothers and I playing ALL DAY long in the woods and only coming home when our mother rang the dinner bell that we could hear from "miles away".

Laoch of Chicago said...

Such a sorrowful thing.

I have always liked to think that once I am gone that I will exist in the memories of people I cared about and that they will smile when they think of me.

Good wishes to you and your loved ones.

Alittlesprite said...

Thinking of you and your family dear friend. ((HUGS))

my memory: The look on my husbands face when I was walking down the aisle to him. I saw nothing else.

CLR said...

I love this. I think I would like it to inspire a future blog post and I will be sure to link it right back to you! I am actually going to try doing a more private blog, so I'd look to add you if you're willing! I just love your blog!

wendy said...

ONE....I give you one memory. Hard to find a favorite as most memories are utterly joyful. The kind of joy that makes your eyes water.
I loved some of your writing here like "wading into a summer lake until the cold freshness of it covers my head"
and memories never quite "unhappen"

I liked those.
One memory for me that would be poignant right now is:
My dad would always take me , just ME, out for a ride in the car to talk, and then treat me to a FIREMAN SUNDAE.
We had good talks then..character building talks.
and what is a FIREMAN SUNDAE you ask.....well my dad was a fireman and this particular ice cream place would give the fireman 1/2 price on the sundaes.

dbs said...

Loved your comments everyone. Thanks my blogging friends, for your support. And yes, CLR, yes.

Chelle said...

Sneaking strawberries into pudgy, lovely little brown hands.

dbs said...

That was beautiful Chelle. And I know your heart on that one too.

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