Sunday, June 17, 2012

Than You

Everyone has a father. Or had one. You might look just like him. You might have his eyebrows or his cleft chin. Or his eyes. Or maybe not. Maybe he isn't even related to you. Maybe your Mom found a better one for you. Maybe you had to pick him.

You can honor him one way: by becoming the best person you can be. (You can also give him chocolate chips, hugs, a back-scratcher and an ice-cream cake from Dairy Queen, or you can insert your own idea here, but mostly just become a good person.) Show some respect. A little goes a long way. Believe me.

You can also honor him by thinking about him because if he's a good father he thinks about you. All. The. Time. Even and especially when you wish he wouldn't, when you wish he would just cut you some slack. Because fathers can be annoying. Or demanding. Or disappointing. Or unreasonable at times. We aren't perfect. We're human. But the majority of us are doing the best we can, so shouldn't you too?

So think about your father. Think about the good moments. Those were the moments he was investing in you. (There were many moments behind the scenes you may never even know about.) Sure, maybe he didn't always invest in the ways you wanted, maybe he invested more money than time, maybe he invested more in demands than in diversions. Maybe this, maybe that. Someday you'll know things you don't know now and someday you'll know just how complicated life can be. Try to forgive him for the mistakes he made. Try. If he's a good father, he's forgiven you at least once for every sunset you've shared.

Think gratitude. Collage it in your mind. Or write it down. Or better yet, make art in all the things that you do. Thank him. Kiss him on the cheek. Engage him in a talk. Ask his advice. Invite him to walk by the river. Make him laugh. Come home when he told you to. Do something without being asked. Listen. Make your words match your actions. But above all this: become the best person you can. And then say, "Look at me Dad" because he loves that. Believe me. There's nothing more tasty for his eyes than you. Than you.

17 comments:

Rubye Jack said...

Happy Father's Day!
Nothing makes me feel better than when my son asks my advice.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Beautiful post and good advice! Happy Father's Day to you, dbs!

Vinny C said...

Agreed. Excellent advice. The best way to honor our parents is to show them that effort all they put into shaping us was worth it.

Adam said...

happy father's day

wendy said...

This was so beautifully written !!!!! Perfect.
I think as a parent all we would ask from our kids is to "be a good person"..."do good things"...that is the greatest gifts of all.
I may loose my dad soon as his health is very frail and it kills me to think of him being gone. He was always prettty much perfect in my eyes.
Your last paragraph was wonderful.
Sorry you lost your father, but like you said, I am sure he is just smiling knowing you are THINKING about him today and reflecting on your lives together.

wendy said...

I want to copy this last paragraph and put it on my facebook page....because it is so perfect....I'll link and credit it to you of course.
Hope that's ok
(as they say, easier to ask forgivness then get permission..tee,hee)

dbs said...

@wendy Sorry about your Dad Wendy. Absolutely link it if you like. Thank you for your kind words and yes I am thinking about my Dad as I know you are thinking of loved ones today too.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Called my Dad today, hope you had a good father's day too.

The Defiant Marshmallow said...

Right on.
And I will be sharing this with the other Marshmallows.
Happy Father's Day and thanks.

Tim Riley said...

Great post. I especially like the phrase "collage in your mind." I've been doing that a lot today.

Nicole said...

Gorgeous work. And thanks. I needed that.

Homemaker Man said...

Loved this.

Lorraine said...

I loved this. It's so good it's hard to comment on, or add to. Instead, I'll just share the link with people. :)

Lor

PokerLawyer said...

Oh those last three sentences...heart tugging.

Loved this.

Happy Belated Father's Day, dbs!

Teachinfourth said...

A great 'tribute.'

Mrs4444 said...

Oh that this were true for my dad. Maybe it was, but he had a good way of hiding it. That's okay--I still know I'm awesome, don't worry :) I also get a lot of satisfaction from the joy other fathers take in their children; it warms my heart to see you and others love your children so. This is a beautiful post. Thanks.

Gardening with Juanita said...

I never knew my Father. I wish I had. I have been a Mother so I know that he loved me my Mother told me. They had 3 boys and then me a girl. Mother said I was his little girl. I thought he was asleep in the big box but he would home. Mother said I looked for but he never came.

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