|An imaginary place?|
I grew up in a flawed but functional family. Is there any other kind? I always needed more. But maybe I'm just needy? So when I built my own family, I vowed to give more. Is it ever enough though? It makes me wonder...
Sometimes I think family is like a phantom limb. Even when it's not there...it's there and sometimes you wish it was there again, the way it once was. But that's gone. And because of that it's hard to feel whole.
I wonder about people who grew up in broken families. If you grew up in a broken family do you feel cheated, maybe you miss what your friends had? And if you grew up in a unbroken family, a so-called happy family (does it exist?) eventually you had to leave so you are bound to miss it too.
Either way there's heartbreak and longing.
I just don't know. It's so confusing to me now. I'm a failure at this family thing.
But maybe a family isn't like a phantom limb. Maybe a family is more like 70% of the Earth's surface: water. Is this just part of the cycle? I hope so.